century1 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Hi there, I'm new to the forum and wanted to get a female's perspective on why the flames have died down with a girl I hit it off with a couple months ago. I have my theory(ies) but would like to hear from some women. Here's the back story (as briefly as I can make it, sorry if it's still too long)... I unexpectedly met a girl at a bar (who ended up living in another state) while I was catching up with a friend. I had no intention of meeting a woman that night, last thing on my mind to be honest. Through a series of events with friends she was with we ended up sitting next to each other and engaged in conversation. Neither of us were trying to put the moves on the other, the conversation was comfortable. The bar closed, she and her girlfriends invited me back to the apartment she was staying in (walking distance). I went with it and after everyone went to sleep we ended up making out and engaging in a little foreplay. I didn't have a condom on me so we left it at that and then slept for a couple hours. We had to get up early cuz one of her friends had to go to work and she was her ride to another place she's been staying while visiting. I asked for her number and if she wanted to hang out later. She said she wasn't sure but 20 minutes later while we were walking out of the apartment building she said she did. Great! We met up later that afternoon and BOOM! Major connection. She was holding my hand like we were already a couple and it felt wonderful. I'm always the type of guy who is fine with moving at the girl's pace (I'm never in any rush for anything) so everything felt so natural and comfortable. We had a great day together and she ended up grabbing her things to stay at my place that evening. I was to drive her to the airport the next morning. Had a spectacular evening, great sex, some drinks, fun conversation and spooning. Woke up and took her to the airport. The following month we kept in regular contact through texts, phone calls and 3 rounds of FaceTime/Skype. Both of us were busy with work and social activities during that month but still found the time to converse and maintained the fire. After a month she came back to visit ME for a couple days, basically picking up where we left off. It still felt very natural between us and a good connection. She left for work (which has her traveling around the US a lot) and all was well. That was a month ago and as each week has passed her communication with me has diminished a bit. Between traveling for work and visiting family/friends while she's home, she is pressed for time so I understand her not maintaining regular communication with me (which perhaps answers my questions). But she had NO problem staying in touch during the first month when we were BOTH busy (I'm not as busy lately). I have been a good boy and only text "good mornings" to her and not much else throughout the day to give her space to focus on work and traveling. There have been a couple times we agree to FaceTime later in the day but then social activities come up preventing that from happening. She did call me a couple days ago and we chatted for an hour, which was nice. She even suggested we FaceTime the following day but it didn't happen due to social activities (aka partying, haha). I know she has a full schedule over the next two months, so should I be patient and just take it easy until her schedule opens up? I have never pressed her about anything (like "call me now, we should talk" or "I want to see you ASAP, when are you available?") and believe I should keep following that path so as to not make her feel any kind of resentment toward me wanting to be with her (either by phone, FaceTime, etc), as lame as that sounds, haha.... I hate how "Hey, we really seem to like each other so let's keep the momentum going like we've been doing" can be deemed negative and suffocating. Such a stupid concept. Any thoughts, opinions and/or suggestions are welcome. I really like this girl and am open to exploring the connection we felt for one another on what should've remained a 1-2 night fling (it's turned out to be anything but). I have no problem with the distance between us (living in different states) and am not obsessing over her... but I am confused as to why the communication of her end has died down a little bit even though her life-style is still the same as during the first month we knew each other and she had no problem communicating regularly then. Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts!
pyramid Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 She's probably realized that it's not really going anywhere, and she's focusing on her "in-person" relationships. 1
heartshaped Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 She may be pulling back a bit as she considers where she wants things to go. Realistically, it doesn't sound like she's someone who has a lot of time or effort to put into a relationship and she may purposely be trying to keep you at a distance to keep things from heading that way.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 She's probably realized that it's not really going anywhere, and she's focusing on her "in-person" relationships. This is my guess, too. I assume she likes you, but gets the reality of the situation (i.e. distance) 1
todreaminblue Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Hi there, I'm new to the forum and wanted to get a female's perspective on why the flames have died down with a girl I hit it off with a couple months ago. hey there from me to you, new to the forum .. I really like this girl and am open to exploring the connection we felt for one another on what should've remained a 1-2 night fling (it's turned out to be anything but). why should it have been a 1 or 2 night thing and why do you now feel it is anything but? I have no problem with the distance between us (living in different states) and am not obsessing over her... but I am confused as to why the communication of her end has died down a little bit even though her life-style is still the same as during the first month we knew each other and she had no problem communicating regularly then. Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts! distance is killer to relationships especially if they are not established i also agree with the other posters...it is hard to get off the ground with distance therefore it fizzles out with coomon knowledge fo each others likes dislikes moods etc........relationships need to be establishedf and pretty strong....rock solid...and even then they are difficult to handle with long distances and little together time..........deb
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