Jiminy Cricket Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 (edited) so if you don't know my story this is what happened last week.. ex was in hospital. i contacted her to check up. had a fight about another guy she was with. she told me never to talk to her again, and stay out of her life, we're never getting back together..etc. so anyways since last week, she had her best friend give me updates on her health and trying to deal with our breakup problems. she says shes back at home and at work. saying maybe after we healed we can be friends or whatever. we're basically talking to each other, but using her best friend to do the talking. i'm just wondering that, if my ex is pissed off at me, never wanting anything to do with me..why is she giving me updates? she has all these strong emotions towards me. if i didn't mean anything to her, wouldn't it be normal just to cut me off with nothing, cold turkey?? doe's she still have feelings? Edited September 10, 2013 by Jiminy Cricket
forgetmenot75 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Because she still cares for you (not in a romantic way) but doesn't want to deal with you. 1
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Because she still cares for you (not in a romantic way) but doesn't want to deal with you. i told her i was sorry, if she still cares, why is she using the silent treatment?
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Easy. She doesn't. She's focused on herself and her illness. That sucks, but if I were her, so would I. Right now she's embracing a selfish streak and a certain amount of that is linked to her illness. You can't expect rational thought from her, so it's best to just ignore or block any further communications from her or her friend. i am going to. i feel that she wants people to feel sorry for her... i know what i did was wrong. but she is being selfish, and your right, she made irrational decisions with me.
BarOfButter Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 No Contact means no contact. Its best for your mental health. Constantly checking up on her is like constantly following her Facebook page, you're hanging onto every update and occupying your mind with her. She has you in a mental trap. Cut contact and maybe she'll mature up and realize what she's done once you're out of the picture. But at the same time, don't keep mentally thinking about her or re reading past love notes, etc. Move on, live life for yourself. 1
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 No Contact means no contact. Its best for your mental health. Constantly checking up on her is like constantly following her Facebook page, you're hanging onto every update and occupying your mind with her. She has you in a mental trap. Cut contact and maybe she'll mature up and realize what she's done once you're out of the picture. But at the same time, don't keep mentally thinking about her or re reading past love notes, etc. Move on, live life for yourself. true. i'm done with social networks. i stop looking at her pictures and reading past love notes a long time ago. now i know she's doing okay..i'm going to disappear from her. i hope she realized she lost the moon while counting the stars. 2
JDPT Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Tell her friend that you don't care to know about her "updates". Again as sick as she is she still likes to have control, one day she tells your to go screw yourself and now she provides you with "updates" why? because she can and she knows you will be there like a puppy on call to reply to her messages. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 i told her i was sorry, if she still cares, why is she using the silent treatment? I told you, she doesn't want to talk to you, but she still wants to be nice, or manipulative, as aspiringuitarheroine said before. 2
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 You don't want that, because then she'll try to make contact again. You want her to think that she made the right decision so that she leaves you alone. i'm doing no contact basically, why shouldn't i want to do that? what are you suggesting i do?
reddragon588 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Tell your ex's friend that you're glad she's doing well, but that the updates are too much for you right now. Be honest and say that you are still working through your feelings for your ex, and that the contact and updates about her are upsetting for you.
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Fine, if the "I hope she's miserable" fantases help, that's fine, I would still look into perhaps a phone number change or a blocking app for the respective phone numbers... i'm not worried about them contacting me anymore, she's fine now. there's nothing else serious that needs to be known from me. i'm glad she's okay.. i'll leave it at that. no need to block numbers, i still would like to be contacted if theres an emergency, like for example we share a pet, and my ex was out of town a couple months ago and i had to take him to the vet...
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Sharing a pet? Whoa!!! Either ask for 100% or drop him 100%. This spells disaster. I tried this once with an ex years ago. Luckily I got him, and still have him!! 1
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Sharing a pet? Whoa!!! Either ask for 100% or drop him 100%. This spells disaster. I tried this once with an ex years ago. Luckily I got him, and still have him!! i tried taking him back. like one day he peed on the carpet and my ex got 'pissed off' lol, so i said fine i'll take him back to live with me...she said fine, then a couple of days later when i left, she changed her mind and began to cry, so i only get to take him to the vet, pay all the medical bills and she gets to play with him and do fun stuff. -____-
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Then, as hard as it will be, let her have him 100%. Let her pay all vet bills, food bills, etc... She wants him? She can experience all of the expenses and responsibilities of him as well!! You can get another pet if you are needing one badly enough. Let her have this one. It is just one more tie holding you to your source of pain. Not worth it IMO... 1
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Then, as hard as it will be, let her have him 100%. Let her pay all vet bills, food bills, etc... She wants him? She can experience all of the expenses and responsibilities of him as well!! You can get another pet if you are needing one badly enough. Let her have this one. It is just one more tie holding you to your source of pain. Not worth it IMO... i got a new pup days after the breakup. i posted it on instagram and she got all butthurt, saying i replaced our other pet.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Oh lord, not again. This girl is brutal to you, why are you pining over this still? 1
keepontruckin Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 OP, would she come visit you if you ended up at the hospital? I think we all know what the answer to that would be... NO! No, she wouldn't. And she wouldn't care why you're there, or what your outlook is. Why? She has moved on, and doesn't want you in her life anymore. And yes, some people can change just that fast... My wife did. One minute we were holding hands, and the next minute she split and filed for divorce. So, understand this... Know this... 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Ok, let her have the shared pet. You keep your new pet. And be on your way. Cut all ties. Unless you like to live in prolonged pain and anguish. If so, keep doing what you are doing... 2
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Ok, let her have the shared pet. You keep your new pet. And be on your way. Cut all ties. Unless you like to live in prolonged pain and anguish. If so, keep doing what you are doing... i will let her have it, even though its hard to let go. i got him for her at christmas and so many good memories came from that.
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