My gf broke up with me , and i miss her terribly.

[Chris21dbest]

So i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years, i am 20 and she is 18. She used to love how i looked and loved my personality but for the last 4-5 months the relationship has been going downhill for 1 specific reason.

 

My problem is i get very disrespectful and say some mean stuff to her when i drink and it can get her very upset , i have never raised a finger on her mind you. We have broken up 3 times over it and she has always given me another chance , 5 days ago we had an arguement over this same problem and she left me saying she has lost all love for me and couldn't care less about me , also saying i should move on like she is trying to do.

 

The next day i heard she was having to walk home alone at 1 am from quite a distance to another and since my area can be dangerous sometimes i just could not allow my girlfriend to walk alone so i showed up at her work to take her home like i usually do anyway out of concern.

 

when she saw me she messaged me saying i should leave or she will call the police on me , this immeadiatally intimidated me and i left reluctantly worried , ever since i have tried contacting her , but anything i say or do isn't working and i love her very much , this was my only flaw and otherwise i would do anything for her and always have.

 

I also gained a bit of wait for those 4-5 months and she has repeatedly told me to go to the gym , our sex life has also dwindled and in the last 2 months it had totally dissapeared. so my appearance changing for the worst might have also affected our relationship although she had never mentioned anything is wrong there and still doesnt.

 

I tried to move on and had another drunken episode which almost landed me in jail , it didn't help at all since she has recently told me now there is definatly no chance. I have since started going to the gym daily ,stopped drinking alchohol all together since its not something i actually need , and

Started a fighting sport to make sure i remain emotionally stable.

 

Also i forgot to mention that she logs on to my facebook to see what im up to since i didnt change my password having nothing to hide , and when i almost landed myself in jail she constantly called my friends asking to be informed when im safe , and just yesterday one of my friends met her out and he told me she told him that she wants me to better myself and change and she used to see a future with me because im an amazing guy but not at the moment.

 

what is the best thing to do right now? , i find it really hard not to try talking to her

[Dallers]

She is the last thing that should be on your mind. Although you are young so you should be having fun you sound a lot like I was at your age and trust me it got so bad I nearly did end up on the scrap heap.

 

You need to forget bout her and sort your self out and your problems because you do have problems and drink is the cause of them.

 

If it has reached the point of her threatening to call the police on you it has gone past the chasing after and trying to get back together stage, it is over for her and you need to let her move on otherwise it could get very nasty.

 

My only advice to you is to accept what has happened, it happens to all of us when we lose someone we liked because our own bad traits have taken over us, we must brush ourselves down pick ourselves up and correct the damage that has been done. You should sort out the drinking asap and if not quit get it down to a controllable level, stop using it to make up for not having her anymore as it won't change a thing. Get your diet back on track and start exercising again.

 

You either pull yourself back from the brink of no return or you continue down a path of misery, pain, pity and eventually as you say Jail or worse.

 

Change your Facebook password, you are done with her. The only way you will be able to get her back is to change from the person you have become, but sadly for me it was too late and she never talked to me again. But I am back to tip top form!

Edited September 10, 2013 by Dallers

[Chris21dbest]

''Why would it be to late if just yesterday she has told my mate that she wants me to change and better myself and that she does see a future with me because im an awesome guy but not at this point in time'' Wouldn't stopping alchohol and getting my life back into gear benefit to maybe having a chance?

[Dallers]

''Why would it be to late if just yesterday she has told my mate that she wants me to change and better myself and that she does see a future with me because im an awesome guy but not at this point in time'' Wouldn't stopping alchohol and getting my life back into gear benefit to maybe having a chance?

 

Maybe, as I said the way to get her back would be to correct what you have become that she hates so much, in my case it did not work out. It is easy saying it but a lot more difficult doing it, you cannot just stop drinking just like that, you cannot just lose weight overnight and get in shape, and you cannot just change the person you have become it takes time.

 

By the time I had recovered from my problems she had moved on and to be honest so had I. You have bigger fish to fry by the sounds of it focus on yourself.

[Chris21dbest]

You have however misunderstood me , my problem isn't stopping the alchahol , it was not respecting her wish for me to stop , the only reason i drink is to fit in with our circle of friends and not be the odd one out , and i only drink on weekends , that is when it would usaully happen. since the incident i have infact gone out and managed to have fun without consuming any sort of alchahol with my and her circle of friends without her around making a good impression i would think. Also she has only ever been with me and nobody else for more then a week. Im basically her first.

Edited September 11, 2013 by Chris21dbest
spelling and additional information

[Dallers]

You have however misunderstood me , my problem isn't stopping the alchahol , it was not respecting her wish for me to stop , the only reason i drink is to fit in with our circle of friends and not be the odd one out , and i only drink on weekends , that is when it would usaully happen. since the incident i have infact gone out and managed to have fun without consuming any sort of alchahol with my and her circle of friends without her around making a good impression i would think.

 

Nice in denial reply there. Maybe you should go and read what you wrote to begin with. You are an alcoholic you can see that by your original post. I know this because I was an alcoholic, and as an alcoholic I refused to believe I was until I ended up in court.

 

It is pointless me trying to help you I am a random person on a forum, point being you need help and you need to realise that the path you are taking will lose you more than your girlfriend. Correct the minor issues you have now before they become major ones. It may get your girlfriend back if you are lucky.

[Chris21dbest]

Nice in denial reply there. Maybe you should go and read what you wrote to begin with. You are an alcoholic you can see that by your original post. I know this because I was an alcoholic, and as an alcoholic I refused to believe I was until I ended up in court.

 

It is pointless me trying to help you I am a random person on a forum, point being you need help and you need to realise that the path you are taking will lose you more than your girlfriend. Correct the minor issues you have now before they become major ones. It may get your girlfriend back if you are lucky.

I respect your opinion on the matter , i however can assure you im not an alchoholic , since i have stopped drinking for a year not long ago with ease because of my thyroid problem. My issue is reacting badly to the effect of Alchohol , quite a difference , alchohol effects everybody differently , she drinks just as much as me since we do live in Malta one of the world clubbing capitals. It just doesn't effect her the same. I would like to Hear other peoples opinions on the matter.