Odd feelings creeping in today

[zum1]

Past few weeks I have been too busy hating him, ever since yesterday and all day today I did not even think about him but right now I feel like I am longing for him and I am having to remind myself repeatedly all that happened and how wrong it all was! Why emotions are flowing in all the directions ?!

[bentleychic]

I'd say it's normal. I'd also suggest going back and reading all of the threads stating the hatred that he spewed to you if you want to regain that anger and get rid of the longing.

[zum1]

I'd say it's normal. I'd also suggest going back and reading all of the threads stating the hatred that he spewed to you if you want to regain that anger and get rid of the longing.

 

Doing just that and reading his rude texts.. What a jerk he is!! But will I have to keep doing it for keeping my emotions in check? Boohoo

Edited September 10, 2013 by zum1

[Daisy2013]

Darn those emotions! I hope it passes quick for you.

[zum1]

I miss some of the sweetest things he used to say and do!! And that raw & desperate sex! His looking after me and ' I will take care of you' attitude !! I loved him so much too, he must be missing me terribly too!

Edited September 10, 2013 by zum1

[whichwayisup]

I miss some of the sweetest things he used to say and do!! And that raw & desperate sex! His looking after me and ' I will take care of you' attitude !! I loved him so much too, he must be missing me terribly too!

 

Try not to focus on the sweet and nice stuff. You need that anger and pain to push you to help really detach.

 

Your emotions will be up and down for a while, just remember that in time you will feel better and stronger! Like any wound, it takes time to heal but you need to do your absolute best to keep busy and focus on other things in your life. If you mope and think of him too much it'll prevent you from letting go and keep you in pain mode for a long time.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Op, look up mindfulness, start practicing some simple meditation techniques. Learning to control your thoughts and emotions is a Godsend when dealing with any type of traumatic event. Ruminating is detrimental to healing. Give yourself a certain amount of time once or twice a day to process, then use the techniques you learned researching mindfulness, to keep any thoughts at bay. It takes practice but its a skill you will use for years. I think reading the texts keeps you in the past. You have to decide to let yourself move on, then commit that you will do that for yourself. It's the only way to end the cycle.

[zum1]

Op, look up mindfulness, start practicing some simple meditation techniques. Learning to control your thoughts and emotions is a Godsend when dealing with any type of traumatic event. Ruminating is detrimental to healing. Give yourself a certain amount of time once or twice a day to process, then use the techniques you learned researching mindfulness, to keep any thoughts at bay. It takes practice but its a skill you will use for years. I think reading the texts keeps you in the past. You have to decide to let yourself move on, then commit that you will do that for yourself. It's the only way to end the cycle.

 

Thanks! Researching mindfulness now! Today I am back to hating him!!

[ConcreteHeart]

I think we swing back and forth and its all part of the grieving process. I often think of how wonderful it was. His sweetness and his ability to make me feel so desired, sexy and beautiful. WHo wouldn't want to think about that?

 

But then I think about his dismissiveness, his game playing and his arrogance and I come to my senses. Still it's early days for me, so who knows, tomorrow I may be wanting to drive to his work and sit in the parking lot across the street just to get a look at him. NUTS!??

[IfWishesWereHorses]

The grief process is a cycle. Eventually you have to make a conscious choice to let go, to get off the proverbial merry-go-round. Doing things like parking across the street just to see him is akin to putting your hand on the stove that just burned you to see if it still hurts. And, it's a choice. I'm not saying it should be easy, but I do believe that it doesn't get better until you so the work to get over it, not permitting yourself to stay embroiled in the emotions of the affair. Affairs are self destructive, YOU have to stop the self destructive behaviors, time won't do that for you.

[zum1]

I also feel like driving to his house but then I feel I may do all those crazy things for someone who deserves. I am not going to make him feel that special!! He just proved that he do not deserve that much love and attention.