lovehurts5 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 For those of you that haven't read my posts.... Boyfriend works in a restaurant. Said he doesn't want me visiting his job but his mom wanted to go and invited me. I asked him if itd be alright he said he didn't care it is what it is but I should know he doesn't like to be visited. I tried to get his mom to go somewhere else with me and she said no we are going. So we went last night and he didn't speak a word to me. I texted him a handful of times telling him I loved him, when I got home safe, going to bed etc. and he didn't answer me. This morning I texted him good morning and got nothing. I called him and nothing. I texted him apologizing for going there but that his mom wouldn't take no for an answer. He said that he was embarrassed of us at the bar because we were drunk (but we didn't do anything embarrassing) and that I disrespected him and came in. He said he needed time to think today. And I apologized profusely, told him it wasn't my intention to embarrass or disrespect him and that I tried to go somewhere else but his mom wouldn't take no for an answer. I told him how much I love out relationship and him and I don't want to lose it. That was at 11 today. It's 6 now and I've heard nothing from him. And don't want to text him because I've said all I could.
Dallers Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 For those of you that haven't read my posts.... Boyfriend works in a restaurant. Said he doesn't want me visiting his job but his mom wanted to go and invited me. I asked him if itd be alright he said he didn't care it is what it is but I should know he doesn't like to be visited. I tried to get his mom to go somewhere else with me and she said no we are going. So we went last night and he didn't speak a word to me. I texted him a handful of times telling him I loved him, when I got home safe, going to bed etc. and he didn't answer me. This morning I texted him good morning and got nothing. I called him and nothing. I texted him apologizing for going there but that his mom wouldn't take no for an answer. He said that he was embarrassed of us at the bar because we were drunk (but we didn't do anything embarrassing) and that I disrespected him and came in. He said he needed time to think today. And I apologized profusely, told him it wasn't my intention to embarrass or disrespect him and that I tried to go somewhere else but his mom wouldn't take no for an answer. I told him how much I love out relationship and him and I don't want to lose it. That was at 11 today. It's 6 now and I've heard nothing from him. And don't want to text him because I've said all I could. Firstly I understand where he is coming from about the whole work thing. It can be awkward and it invades his space so we as men do not like it. We are pathetic. But he is going way over the top, and seriously if he could see you there with his mum he has not leg to stand on and needs to stop being a little B. You on the other hand you need to stop saying sorry and chasing after him, you have done nothing wrong and this is a two way thing. One message, one sorry is enough if he does not respond then you do exactly the same and trust me that he will eventually come back to you and forgive you sharpish when you are suddenly not chasing him anymore. The more you chase the more he laps it up. Be more confident and take more control in this relationship. You have done nothing wrong here and the guy needs a slap. 2
giblesp Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 From what you've described he's in idiot. Why would you want to be with someone who gives you this sort of treatment? You are worth much more than this. Don't settle for less. 4
RogerWallace111 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Him being a bit upset or cold to you briefly, before talking it through and receiving an apology, would be a normal reaction. This... He sounds like a bit of a pussy and/or drama queen. 2
Jbum5 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 The clown is embarrassed because his girlfriend (and mom, fine) came to the restaurant he works at? Please STOP the MADNESS now... It might be understandable if the bozo is a young and insecure tightwad afraid that mommy might do something embarrassing, but with respect to you, he shouldn't be acting this way at all. He should be apologizing to you for his pathetic attitude and behaviour. What a donkey. 4
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 OP, leave him be now. I've read and responded to your other threads. Things sounded like they'd been tense for a while between you two, given your history together. Unfortunately, he's chosen a really immature way to end the relationship with you. I think he's been unhappy with the constant questioning and jealousy issues (rightly so) and wants out. I don't mean to put this all on you because he could handle this in a MUCH more respectful and mature way. Don't call or text him for a while. He's been a jerk to you. Don't stand for that
Author lovehurts5 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 I appreciate all of your responses. Last night he wound up texting me saying he cares for me a lot but feels like he needs to take it day by day with me now. And I asked about the future since we are ALWAYS talking about the future together. He said he wasn't sure about it and feels that we need to just take it day by day until our trip to Jamaica (we are both going together in a month... I paid for the trip, he's been paying me back little by little but still has 1,000 to go). He said there's a lot of things I need to change. And I told him a relationship takes 2 people to work on things and he said no I don't have anything to work on I've been communicating with you on what I need changed. And then I told him so if we feel the relationship gets stronger and better by Jamaica will we continue the relationship afterwards he said of course.... I just feel so terrible. Not to mention that whole convo was over text he wouldn't pick up to talk to me. I've been so so sick since yesterday. I'm probably already down 5 pounds and I haven't eaten anything. I'm just so sad. I feel like I didn't do anything bad enough for him to all of the sudden contemplate our relationship when we literally discuss how we want to get a place in December and get married. I don't see this ending well.
Philosoraptor Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 He said there's a lot of things I need to change. And I told him a relationship takes 2 people to work on things and he said no I don't have anything to work on I've been communicating with you on what I need changed. Are you ******* kidding me? Tell me that was a joke. He is controlling, manipulative, and a straight up jerk. This has nothing to do with what you did, he's already on his way out the door and is now pinning the end of the relationship on you. Pick up your pride and give him what he wants, tell him you're done and you're going to find someone who treats you right and respects you. I'd text him a picture of your middle finger with the words "It's over" written on your hand. 4
colombiana28 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I appreciate all of your responses. Last night he wound up texting me saying he cares for me a lot but feels like he needs to take it day by day with me now. And I asked about the future since we are ALWAYS talking about the future together. He said he wasn't sure about it and feels that we need to just take it day by day until our trip to Jamaica (we are both going together in a month... I paid for the trip, he's been paying me back little by little but still has 1,000 to go). He said there's a lot of things I need to change. And I told him a relationship takes 2 people to work on things and he said no I don't have anything to work on I've been communicating with you on what I need changed. And then I told him so if we feel the relationship gets stronger and better by Jamaica will we continue the relationship afterwards he said of course.... I just feel so terrible. Not to mention that whole convo was over text he wouldn't pick up to talk to me. I've been so so sick since yesterday. I'm probably already down 5 pounds and I haven't eaten anything. I'm just so sad. I feel like I didn't do anything bad enough for him to all of the sudden contemplate our relationship when we literally discuss how we want to get a place in December and get married. I don't see this ending well. lovehurts5, I know we often have to walk through the fire and get burned before we truly realize what reality is like. i'm sure that's why you're not really taking what everyone's saying to heart. but I promise you, PROMISE you, that your boyfriend is trying to break up with you. He doesn't want the relationship anymore, but he's the type that loves having someone clinging onto him at all times. the best thing you could POSSIBLY do right now is calmly tell him that it's over, never contact you again, and STICK to not contacting him. and then when he comes begging, make him PROVE that HE is willing to "work" on the relationship and make compromises... but I know you won't, and sorry to say, it's going to end up extremely painful if you go on this trip with him. And I hate to sound harsh, but i'd bet he goes on the vacation with you, dumps you a few days/weeks later, and never fully pays back the money. you'll be desperate and he'll be telling everyone at work about his "psycho" ex girlfriend. go out with your dignity girl, or go out with nothing. this man is not treating you like someone he loves and respects. 2
CherryT Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I appreciate all of your responses. Last night he wound up texting me saying he cares for me a lot but feels like he needs to take it day by day with me now. And I asked about the future since we are ALWAYS talking about the future together. He said he wasn't sure about it and feels that we need to just take it day by day until our trip to Jamaica (we are both going together in a month... I paid for the trip, he's been paying me back little by little but still has 1,000 to go). He said there's a lot of things I need to change. And I told him a relationship takes 2 people to work on things and he said no I don't have anything to work on I've been communicating with you on what I need changed. And then I told him so if we feel the relationship gets stronger and better by Jamaica will we continue the relationship afterwards he said of course.... I just feel so terrible. Not to mention that whole convo was over text he wouldn't pick up to talk to me. I've been so so sick since yesterday. I'm probably already down 5 pounds and I haven't eaten anything. I'm just so sad. I feel like I didn't do anything bad enough for him to all of the sudden contemplate our relationship when we literally discuss how we want to get a place in December and get married. I don't see this ending well. Please, dust yourself off and get a bite to eat. You did NOTHING WRONG. You went to a public place with HIS mother. Yes, I understand if he's new and just wanting to settle into his job that it may not have been the best time for you and his mom to visit. But to get blown up about something like this??? It's very juvenile. Please know you deserve much better. And for someone to say they have absolutely nothing for them to work on... it's insane. Everyone is a work in progress and if he doesn't think he is 50% of the relationship, you are dodging a huge bullet right now. He should be happy that you and his mom have a great relationship and that you're committing time to spend with her. 1
Kelly15 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Omg, even my ass of a boyfriend always wanted me to visit him at work, this is so wrong to you. A guy who loves would not do this and the more insecure you get the more this will get bad. Sounds like he gives u a very big reason to worry. Take a break. No contact, get a possible back up for your trip and let him contact you 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Sorry, you paid for a trip and now he's pulling this sh*t? Tell him he's no longer welcome and sell the ticket to a friend. If he really believes he has nothing to work on here, then he isn't planning on doing anything to make the relationship better. It sounds to me like he doesn't want to end it before the vacation and that he's biding his time until then. As far as moving in and getting married, don't even mention it to him. It's off the table, clearly. What does this guy offer YOU? 1
Kelly15 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 having a single girls trip probably would help you a lot.. you dont need anyone who doesnt need you. prepare yourself for some heartache, it's only natural and move on. you will be better than ever with the right outlook.
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