ilovedemhotrides Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 This is going to be a long thread, so going to try and break it up so it's easier to read. Background information: I am 20, she is 21. We have been dating 6 years First love, first kiss, first everything. Major events: The death of her sister going on 3 years. Recent break up Okay so here it goes. I have been dating my X for the last 6 years. We have gone through some rough patches, but always have loved eachother and have never cheated. We broke up 2 months ago, and I moved out with that. After I moved out we started to take things slow like talk sometimes for the first week. I then started to hang out with her, dinner or movies about once per week. After it started building up to more and more, eventually I am sleeping over her house 2-3x per week. Now mind you nothing physical was going on, and I was pretty much fine with that. I thought everything was going good, up until this friday when she turned 21. Now here is the thing, her older sister passed away when she was 20, and never saw 21, so she had a break down about that. I comforted her before her birthday party, and give her a hug and said I will help you get through this. While she was having he break down she said how we aren't cool and everything. I tried to brush it off because i thought she was just having a break down and she didn't mean it. In the time we were hanging out and I was sleeping over she drunkly said " we are basically dating" and I asked her about it the next morning. She said I was drunk, i regret saying it. A few weeks later she said it sober, and has said it a few times in the past month. She changes her mind, when we are hanging out she will have a fun time, and she will enjoy herself. Sometimes she just loses it, and she is always stressed with school and stuff. She just finished up the semester, and is done for the next 6 months, and she told me that she knows she messed with my head a lot the past 9 weeks, and that she doesn't want to go out because she doesn't want to hurt me. She said if she is forced to go away for school she doesn't want me to feel abandoned. The chance of her actually going more then 30 mins away for school are pretty slim to none, but IDK with her anymore. I never thought she would do this to me. She recognizes now that she really messed with my head a lot and she treated me like a boyfriend in a lot of ways. She would call me and ask me to come help her study, ask for massages, and stuff. I don't think she was using me, but she wanted me to come over because she actually enjoys my company. Maybe because when we were living together we spent every second together and now it is only a few times per week. So I don't even know what to do, I feel like my heart keeps getting torn out every second by this girl. Sometimes I am content because I feel like nothing is wrong, because it's really not. She says all the time that it's not me it's her, and she needs to figure out what she's doing. I just think that is such a cop out, because no one really knows what they are doing in life. One thing that I am certain about is that this is not for other guys, or wanting to be "single". She tells me all the time that I am the best guy , and she knows that. She also talks about the future with me and stuff. We have talked about kids for a long time, picked out names etc.. She has honestly never been attracted to another guy when we were dating, and she is actually repulsed by most people. She is very independant. I am not worried she will go out and kiss other guys or anything like that because I know she is not like that. She is to scared about getting herpes or some other disease, she is a nurse so she knows what's out there and how easy it is to get stuff. We have never done anything with another person, as we are eachothers first serious relationship. To make it worse she went away to the beach on saturday (just told me this stuff friday) for a week. I feel like abandoned, and jus thrown off guard. I thought everything was good// and the thing is it was good! She said she loves talking to me and hanging out with me.. Just today.....But the thing is for most people that is dating, but she doesn't wanna call it that. Her emotions are all over the place // non existant since her sister passed. I don't know if that has a lot to do with it. SHe said she is not happy in life tho, and that scares me. She would never try to hurt herself or anything like that. I just want to be there to support her. I don't understand why she is making everything so complicated. She likes me, she loves me, i like her, i love her... It has nothing to do with other guys. So why can't we just go out? I know we could start hanging out again how we used to hang out because she said she liked that. And She said we were basically going out. She didn't just say it for no reason, she said it because she meant it. Is she just in a mind **** because of her turning 21 and her sister ? Is she just confused right now with life? I can like talk to her and hang with her and keep things on a talking level ( how it was before) and everything seemed fine. Or do I just stop talking to her and hope she starts to miss me and realize I am better in her life than out. She is so stubborn, and she is not like any other girl. She knows she has me. I feel like I could type on and on but ask me any other details if you think they will help.
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