Broli2001122 Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 Okay I am 15 in an extremely serious relationship. If you're going to waste your energy lecturing me about me being to young don't. It's old annoying and I here it from my dad constantly. Anyway now that that's out. My girl is like constantly talking about this one male friend of her's. I am okay with that. But she once was writing notes to him and not me any longer. She claims that they were irrelevent to any form of a relationship so I beleived her like a good boyfriend should. That kind of stopped after I explained how I felt. But she got mad that I could even imagine that she could even sheat on me. But he's all she talked to or about, she visitted his house about twice maybe only once, and at one point she stopped talking to me for almost a week that also stopped when I told her (She payed attention to me). So that was one maybe two weeks ago. But I am getting this feeling that we're growing apart but I don't know why at all seeing how we hang out constantly and she has no other free time. Am I going crazy or am I acting apropriatly?
bluechocolate Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 Okay I am 15 in an extremely serious relationship. If you're going to waste your energy lecturing me about me being to young don't. okey dokey then
GirlDown Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 hahaha @bluechocolate. no sh*t, right? it was the passing notes things that got me
Fritz Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 I'm an old fogey. I don't hear so well. What was that sonny? Eh? Welcome to the world of teenage dating bud. You're young, don't take it so seriously. You're only 15.
LaShawn Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 OK, so I won't lecture you on how young you are..... I remember when I was 16 and I thought that my first "serious" boyfriend was cheating on me....oh my the sky is falling......I also remember that at 15/16 I thought I was so mature and guess what...that got me married at barely 18 and divorced by 24. BE A TEENAGER....at 15 no matter how "mature or serious" you think the relationship is it is NOT the end of the world if things don't work out. At 15 you are supposed to be out having fun...find a girl that is more interested in you if this doesn't work out and try to remember you have not even begun to live. OK, so I did kinda lecture you, but it is a Mom thing.
zara Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 ... which is what you were after, right? You say that you are together with your girlfriend constantly - maybe that's your problem rigt there. The only other person she had contact with apart from you and her family was probably this guy she wrote the notes to, so her relationship with him became quite intesnse becasue it was thrown into releif against her lack of any other friends! Relax a little, try not to see so much of each other, encourage her to renew her friendships with her girlfriends and don't try to control her so much. You should focus on yourself a little too, spend some times with your friends, so that you don't obssess over her. It would be far healthier. (see, i'm an auntie to teenagers, i know how it's done!)
Queen B Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 Okay I won't lecture, I have brothers your age and I would hate to know that they're in this much distress...people of all ages have feelings and relationships and as a result relationship problems...Id say that you're probably more mature than a lot of 15 year olds in that you realise that there's a problem...he'll I've dated 30 year olds with less clue! Anyway if you two are serious then she has no reason to lie to you and you should back off because your jelousy is probably what's driving her away. It seems like you tell her a lot of things you don't like and she "listens." Maybe you think she should do what you tell her just because she's your girlfriend. You need to realise that yes, she's your girlfriend but she's also a person entitled to her own privacy and some time to spend with her friends. Unless you want to drive her away treat her with respect and give her some space. If that doesn't work it's time to move on.
GirlDown Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 when i was 15, i was asked by one boyfriend "are you fooling around with someone else, you've been acting strange." i threw a big dramatic fit (as teenagers--and adults--often do) and said "i am so hurt that you would ever doubt my love so much that you think i could do something so hurtful to you. you must not respect me very much to think i would do something like that." i cried and everything. he apologized to me. i should mention that the weekend before, i hooked up with another guy in our class, and everyone knew...everyone except my boyfriend of course. just something to think about.
Author Broli2001122 Posted November 20, 2004 Author Posted November 20, 2004 Look is it illegal for teens to have a serious relationship here? I am a youth rights activist on top of things let my age have nothing to do with this. Do you think that I should worry or not? That's all I want to know. We've been honest with one another thus far I see no reason not to trust her now but I need other opinions.
DutyPaid Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 she wants to go out with the other guy probably because you are way too serious let her go
GirlDown Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 you don't seem to understand, though, that age has a lot to do with specific situations. if you are just looking for someone to say "you're fine, she loves you, there's no question that you'll be together forever" you're not going to find it here. good for you being a youth activist...but that's irrelevant. age aside, i think it seems like she's probably up to something. for your sake, i hope not. good luck.
Author Broli2001122 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 I may be a bit naive but I love her and trust her if she says that she isn't doing anything behind my back that I beleive her. I really don't think age has anything to do with it. My parents married at 18. I am only 3 years younger than they were.
GirlDown Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 first of all, there is an enormous difference between 15 and 18. second of all, you are not either of your parents, and situations are totally different with different people. my parents were together since 15, married in their early 20's, and are now married for 32 years. this has not happened for myself or any of my siblings just because it happened for my parents. and third, if you trust her so much, why then did you post here? no offense to you, but your initial post indicated that she was up to something, and i am obviously not the only who thought so. if you want to be in denial, fine. that's your rght. but don't ask for advice if you already know what you're thinking and/or going to do about it. this isn't the place to find people who will tell you what you want to hear. good luck, don't take crap from anyone.
GirlDown Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 and allentown , huh? i went to Parkland... if you are there too (i don't want to know) then you could safely assume she's cheating. parkland kids didn't write too many notes when we got to 15 though... i don't know, follow your heart, but guard it a little better. if you're so in love with each other, you should be able to say "hey, it makes me uncomfortable when you apy so much attention to another guy." and if she loves you, she'll say "i'm sorry, really it's innocent, but i'll stop, you're more imortant" if she says "who i talk to is none of your business" or "how dare you accuse me of something" then that's not a good sign... oh wait, she has said one of those things. well, good luck anyway. i don't know what to tell you.
Author Broli2001122 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 No I am in Coplay not Parkland. I do trust her it's that I don't trust him now.
zara Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 You can't blame it all on him. You have to think about whether you trust your GF too. If you trust her then it shouldn't matter if he is interested in her or not because you know that she will make it quite clear that she is with you and you alone. If you don't trust her then you will worry that there is something going on... It's a bit like my situation where i've just been someone who has a GF. I didin't know he did and when i found out i called it quits. But he has told his GF that it was me who was chasing him and he says that i've made an enemy out of her now. If this girl was mature about this she would realise that any girl should be able to throw herself at her man (not that i did!) and he would say no, he has a girl and he's devoted to her.
allina Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 I'm sorry for picking on you but I just have to say that I think you ment to say you HEAR (perceive by ear) not HERE as you said, which means in or at this place. Other then that maybe you are mature but she is not so the two of you view the relationship in different ways.
magda Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 I don't think the issue is about this guy, but about you both growing apart. Probably because you became jealous (perhaps rightfully) and then "put her on restriction" from talkign to this guy. Forget the guy... she's still hanging around with you for now. If you can't trust her actions then you don't have a strong relatinoship. If you aren't close to her then you don't have an intimate relatinship. You may be too clingy to her. That is a huge turn-off whether she cops to it or not. Especially at her age she will be thinking about other boys - that is natural. You can't prevent this, you can only be the boy she likes the most and wants to be with. You both need to have separate friends and separate experiences. It's a serious loving relationship when you can both do that and still value the time you spend together. I suggest you scale back a little on the time you spend with her and make the time you do spend with her more interesting. Have deep talks. Plan a fun outing and anticipate it. Communicate, laugh. If it doesn't work, well, you can't control everything and there is no deadline on having a good relationship with someone you love. You might have better luck with another girl with whom you always know where you stand.
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