may_girl Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Hi all LSers, I have updated you many times about my situation. I am now approaching 4 months NC and I am extremely pleased with my progress. When I think about how long it's been, how much has changed... it feels so surreal. The place I am in now I never would have imagined when we broke up 8 months ago. I most certainly am in the final stages of grieving our break-up. However, something doesn't sit quite right. I feel the link between me and him has not yet been broken, because he took that opportunity away from me when he ignored my previous attempts of communicating with him. How hard this is to explain - I am fully aware closure comes from within, but by ignoring me it is almost like he is not allowing me to grieve the final stages. I feel like forgiveness is a big thing here for me to cut the final string, yet it is impossible for me to put that forgiveness across when he shuts me out every time. The question is, do I contact? Even if I do, heck, it's been so long I wouldn't even know what to say. We are completely different people. Or do I just let this slide and hope I can do this without needing to reach out? I feel as though I have been stuck in this same place for over a month. I don't know what steps to take now to make that final step for freedom. Contact/maintain NC at this stage? Thanks all.
Nyclovin Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Your doing great. Don't blow it ! You will be sorry...
Cali408 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Let it go. Closure is psychobabble. Why would you want to stick your chin out to get hit? The best closure is healing and dating someone new. 1
hopefulfaerie Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I completely agree with the above posts. . . BUT. . I also understand what you're feeling. It's funny, I was just thinking this morning how much better I'm feeling in comparison to how I felt right after being dumped. It's like night and day. I would NEVER give him a second chance. He blew it big time! I wouldn't even give him a response if he reached out. BUT. . ha ha! Again here is the BUT. . . I feel like I would be completey 100 percent over this relationship if he would just reach out, just so I could IGNORE HIM!!! Man, that would feel GREAT!!! I feel like I would be over it literally in that very second. I know how you feel and WE WILL get over it completely one day. I just want to be over it NOW!!! Ha ha! And if I saw a text from him, I would ignore and delete and completely be OVER IT FOREVER! That may or may not have been the best thing to tell you but this site is the only place I feel safe enough to be completely honest. As far as my friends and family know, I am soooo over it. . . So glad for this site and everyone here! Stay strong my friend!!!
cavalier99 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 It is too soon to consider breaking NC. Give it another 4 to 6 months then get in touch if you want. Then you can stop counting NC and kick him and even NC off any pedestal. You will see how insignificant and meaningless the contact is and how little you care. But not yet. Rock on! Cav
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