Raelin05 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Okay so here is my story... I was with this guy on and off for 5 years and then I broke up with him for 2 years because our relationship got really bad. Now for these 2 years we remained really close friends and he did everything he could to get me back. He treated me better then he ever had while we were together and he was literally the most amazing guy. I knew he loved me so much and I loved him. But I was scared to give him another chance because he had hurt me time, and time again when we were together. But because we always remained so close it was kinda like we were still together for those two years anyways(he didn't see anybody else and either did I). So I finally caved and took him back. We dated for about 4 months and then out of nowhere he told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore that he just wanted to be friends. I kept asking him why and he just gave me stupid reasons. Then about a week later he started talking to this girl that he works with. They had been really good friends for a while. Infact, I hung out with her a lot when he and I got back together. But her boyfriend of 3 years dumped her and she was literally obsessed with how he left her and the messed up thing is I would always try and comfort her. Now all the sudden my boyfriend breaks up with me and starts talking to her and now they are offically together. He couldn't even tell me that they were dating and all I hear is how in love they both are with each other. And how good they are for each other. She practically lives at his house and I keep hearing that they are trying to have a baby together. My heart is literally broken I don't know what to do how can he stop loving me and start loving her so soon? And more importantly how could she love him so much when her heart is still broken from her exboyfriend!?! We spent 7 years together how can he just forget about me just like that? I just don't understand it. I went NC with him about a month 1/2 ago he use to try to call me and text me all the time. But those have stopped, he stopped that about 2 weeks ago. and now my heart is literally breaking everyday! I just don't know what to do, I could really use some insight...
Philosoraptor Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Well he met someone else, that's the reason it ended. If he was this easily distracted you were lucky to be rid of him sooner than later, as you'd only be losing more time by spending it on him. Just stay NC, take care of yourself, and work on moving on. 1
crazy1234 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Okay so here is my story... I was with this guy on and off for 5 years and then I broke up with him for 2 years because our relationship got really bad. Now for these 2 years we remained really close friends and he did everything he could to get me back. He treated me better then he ever had while we were together and he was literally the most amazing guy. I knew he loved me so much and I loved him. But I was scared to give him another chance because he had hurt me time, and time again when we were together. But because we always remained so close it was kinda like we were still together for those two years anyways(he didn't see anybody else and either did I). So I finally caved and took him back. We dated for about 4 months and then out of nowhere he told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore that he just wanted to be friends. I kept asking him why and he just gave me stupid reasons. Then about a week later he started talking to this girl that he works with. They had been really good friends for a while. Infact, I hung out with her a lot when he and I got back together. But her boyfriend of 3 years dumped her and she was literally obsessed with how he left her and the messed up thing is I would always try and comfort her. Now all the sudden my boyfriend breaks up with me and starts talking to her and now they are offically together. He couldn't even tell me that they were dating and all I hear is how in love they both are with each other. And how good they are for each other. She practically lives at his house and I keep hearing that they are trying to have a baby together. My heart is literally broken I don't know what to do how can he stop loving me and start loving her so soon? And more importantly how could she love him so much when her heart is still broken from her exboyfriend!?! We spent 7 years together how can he just forget about me just like that? I just don't understand it. I went NC with him about a month 1/2 ago he use to try to call me and text me all the time. But those have stopped, he stopped that about 2 weeks ago. and now my heart is literally breaking everyday! I just don't know what to do, I could really use some insight... Wow your story is so much like mine.From getting back to broken up in 4 months for another girl and yes they are together officially as well.It hurts dear.Its been 6 months to my breakup and yes it hurts everyday even now.I'm not saying you have to go through with it too but you can always help yourself being with friends and spending alot of time with friends or at work.First things 1st,you need to stop knowing about their updates.This is a big deal when it comes to forgetting someone.Delete everyone who knows him from fb and cut off all contacts with them too.Slowly things will start falling into places i promise.
Phthonos Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I feel really bad for you, I had this happen to a roommate of mine and she was pretty devastated. I think really the only solution that has been helping me and I assume others as well is to forget. It will be difficult and it will be not fun. However no contact and learning to forgive, and forget is the only true way to move on. Here are some tips that have helped me. - Don't feel sorry for yourself, if your are a caring loving person that offered everything you had to your loved one, and it wasn't good enough for them then they weren't good enough for you. -Don't think of all the things you could or should of done. If you did things that pushed him away take it as a lesson and learn from it so your next relationship will be better then ever with your new love. - Don't go on social media! I made this mistake and I paid a price for it. - you said you were in a relationship for 7 years, so take the time and embrace being single. One day you will be married, have kids ect so take the time and enjoy being able to do things you want without anyone's permission. Want to visit that country you always wanted to see, then do it. Wanted to take dance classes, then do it. - Don't jump into another relationship. I don't know what you look like but if you are an attractive girl you will get guys hounding you pretty fast, and it may be easy to just take them on, but it will only leave you feeling more sad and empty which will only make future relationships harder. - When your feeling down just put on some music with energy and dance and smile, this can do wonders - As hard as it is to do never let your imagination take control, I learned this is what delayed my healing process by a long time. Thinking about what if she wants me back, what happens if I date someone else and she comes back ect ect. What happens is that when you go no contact you have no way of finding out whats going on with his life, and in return your mind will start filling those spaces with negative thoughts which is what I believe most of us here suffer from. hopefully this helps you a little 1
Author Raelin05 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 It's just so hard because we have always been so close with each other. He was like my best friend on top of being my boyfriend of 7 years basically. So now it feels like I have lost my best friend in the entire world and my boyfriend at the same time. And he doesn't feel any pain at all and it's not fair! I don't even understand how he can say he loved her they haven't even been together offically for a month! NC has been extreamly hard for me, I used to tell him everything and I don't have a lot of other friends so it's just like starting my entire life all over again. I don't feel like I have a very strong support system. And I feel like why is he so special to walk around and just be perfectly happy and not give a damn about me anymore. I don't want him back because this whole process has been so incredibly painful that I would never want to go through it ever again. But I do miss him so much.
Phthonos Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 You say he doesn't feel pain but that's because he hasn't had a chance to truly miss you because he is keeping his mind occupied by having the new girl around. Once that breaks of and there is a good chance it will he will be hurting more then ever, and when he comes back to you after that you tell him no thanks I want someone one that actually loves me. If anything there is a support system here for you But in one form or anther its up to you to keep your head up high and keep going forward with life.
NvrLetUDown Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 It's just so hard because we have always been so close with each other. He was like my best friend on top of being my boyfriend of 7 years basically. So now it feels like I have lost my best friend in the entire world and my boyfriend at the same time. And he doesn't feel any pain at all and it's not fair! I don't even understand how he can say he loved her they haven't even been together offically for a month! NC has been extreamly hard for me, I used to tell him everything and I don't have a lot of other friends so it's just like starting my entire life all over again. I don't feel like I have a very strong support system. And I feel like why is he so special to walk around and just be perfectly happy and not give a damn about me anymore. I don't want him back because this whole process has been so incredibly painful that I would never want to go through it ever again. But I do miss him so much. Honestly, I feel the exact same way about my recent ex girlfriend. She got something similar to gigs and it hurts knowing I lost my best friend as well. We share alot of mutual friends so I find that they are always choosing between me or her to invite and she has class with them whereas I am in another program. We both go to the same school and live about 5 minutes from another. NC is hard when I have a huge gap between my class And have noone to hang out with. It used to be her and I through thick and thin so I don't understand why she's beig so cold and heartless.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 OMG, I'm so very sorry. Best thing is to stop wondering why and stay strict no contact. You can do nothing more right now. They are in love and they are happy. S### happens, love fades away, and he doesn't love you anymore. Try to understand this, and move on.
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