Honesty Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Who gives a rats aXX??? The more the better. It's better that the person you are with has had lots ofpeople in his or her life so once they are ready to settle down they are not curious of what else is out there.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 What you think that I intended to hurt her? She told me to take it out the first time and i did, then she said try it again and told me not to stop even though she was crying, and she said when she lost her actual virginity, it only hurt a little worse. so dont go and insult my integrity thank you. And no im not leaving her, shes the best thing thats ever happend to me, and im sorry but i HAVE to get over the fact that shes not a virgin, because honestly, i dont have a goddamn thing to say, ive been with quite a few more girls than she has guys and she accepts me (4 others to be exact), thats why im working on myself. Its not just me that hurts too, she sees my ex-girlfriend Elise sometimes and it kills her inside to the point where she cries, because thats the girl i gave it up to. But she accepts me, and im going to make myself accept her in any way i can... Im not just taking medication, im seeing a counselor and having my patterns of thinking straightend out. And what am i gonna do when i leave her? Find a girl thats been with 17 guys? Because sadly thats the norm these days. A virgin is either socially undesirable, or 13. How can you expect these girls to be virgins anymore these days anyway when school guidance counselors are handing out condoms to students.
Pocky Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Its just difficult, its like, why couldnt i have just been A LITTLE SOONER, she woulda been brand new and that woulda been really cool. The sad thing is you don't even realize how abhorrent your comment is.
tanbark813 Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 I'm still trying to understand why someone would want to settle down with a virgin...
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by allen10981 And what am i gonna do when i leave her? Find a girl thats been with 17 guys? Because sadly thats the norm these days. A virgin is either socially undesirable, or 13. How can you expect these girls to be virgins anymore these days anyway when school guidance counselors are handing out condoms to students. This reeks of double standard so badly that I cannot even set my thoughts straight. That is right, how can you expect these girls to be virgins anymore? YOU'RE NOT!
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Its hard knowing someone else has been in there These are special things and noone wants to know of their mates doing them with anyone else. it never bothered me at first, but the more i began to love her the more it hurt and hurt and hurt... i wanna get past this because i know i wont find another, but im trying and its becoming harder each day. i find myself not even being able to eat anymore, seeing i havent in around 4 days. There are certain physical things that we do that she and i both have never experienced before and they are nice, but its still tough when you go to have normal sex and u have to think that someone else has been in there before...
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 And you've been in someone else before. Does that change the way you feel about her? NO. You said you've been getting some help...I hope you are continuing with that.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Im starting to get help, ive never had this problem before because the only other real relationship ive ever had was with a girl who had no past. Yes im not a virgin anymore, and that doesnt change the way i feel. I wish to god that i never gave it up at 14 and every time i see that girl i wanna puke because i know she has something that i could have given to this one. I wish to God I never had sex after her either and could have atleast kept the numbers lower...im not trying to hold a double standard here, i am trying to figure out how to break the pattern of thought that sais virginity is the most important thing in a relationship... My girlfriend hurts badly on that subject too, she is just better at hiding than i am, she cries everytime she sees elise knowing that that was my first, shes never had a relationship with a past either, so its new to her too.
ntovrhm Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Lol, yea her past sex life was really lousy. the ****in guy didnt even pop her right cuz when i got to her, she cried the first time we did it from how bad it hurt, and was sore for 3 days, and after a few times it never hurt again Its just difficult, its like, why couldnt i have just been A LITTLE SOONER, she woulda been brand new and that woulda been really cool. . . .does not deserve a decent girl like this. She deserves so much better than you, especially since you are still obsessing about it. At first I was rooting for you, but now I think you an immature j*@& and that she deserves much better. I hope she sees that so she can get over you and move on when you show your true colors to her. Really hope you get the help you need. Sorry, but you just make me mad.
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 ok, i never said anything about you dear...i was talking about the other unsensetive devirginizer....... sounds like the girl has a smaller vaginal canal, and sex hurts, use lube...if you dare to enter her again. and i seriously doubt you will have a lot of chicks to choose from, with out a past, as you are only getting older and so is everyone else. A lot of the feeling you are having sound almost like a rebellion to growing up. by keeping these adolescent views on sex and jealousy about your gf. i think you are putting a whole hellava lot of emotion in the act of sex. as you can see from some of the posts, sex is only an act at times. depending on who with and why. It is not always an emotional connection between two people deeply in love. passing out condoms is not gonna make the opposite sex suddenly attractive and hoar around....hopefully it will keep demon spawn at a minimum as well as new outbreaks of STD's.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 lol your a friggen fool Im not bragging about the fact that it hurt her, read between the lines, ifind it amazingly hilarious that he couldnt even do the job right. I am bothered by the fact it hurt her, and almost didnt have sex with her because of it. So dont sit here and call me an a**h*** for that Just because maybe you had a boyfriend that enjoyed putting u through the pain of being popped, dont vent onto me, because thats idiotic She laughs about her past sex life too, saying it was lousy. she became repulsed by him before the sex even went into the double digits and stopped doing it for the last 2 years of their relationship. But funny, she has no complaints with me.
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 have you taken anatomy or even high school health? look at what goes where...tell me it will not hurt. what about when she has a child...will you hold a grudge then against the baby?
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 So what your saying is sex should hurt all the time, look what goes where right? You obviously havent taken these courses seeing the fact that the ONLY thing that hurts when u have sex is the breaking of the hymen, it has nothing to do with tightness because of the fact that a vagina is made to expand and contract. So whats ur answer for why it hurt her Doctor? cuz id like to know cuz iive always felt bad about it. and tatoo, it has not hurt her one bit since the second time we have had sex, so its obviously not that case...
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by allen10981 So what your saying is sex should hurt all the time, look what goes where right? You obviously havent taken these courses seeing the fact that the ONLY thing that hurts when u have sex is the breaking of the hymen, it has nothing to do with tightness because of the fact that a vagina is made to expand and contract. So whats ur answer for why it hurt her Doctor? cuz id like to know cuz iive always felt bad about it. Listen yo, I haven't had a hymen in 10 years. If I dont have sex for a while (let alone YEARS) you bet your sweet ass it hurts. Sure the vagina is made to expand and contract, but when it hasn't expanded or felt friction in a long time, yes there is pain. Oh and I'm not a doctor, I'm an owner of one of those vagina things.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Ok drama then how do u explain the other girl that i was with before this one that hadnt had sex since march of the past year and we didnt do anything until august one year later? thats over a year, and she never felt an ounce of pain... so you tell me? and this wasnt normal friction, this was PAIN, she was CRYING, dont u listen? It took me around 5 minutes to even get the friggen thing inside of her.
ntovrhm Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Its hard knowing someone else has been in there These are special things and noone wants to know of their mates doing them with anyone else. it never bothered me at first, but the more i began to love her the more it hurt and hurt and hurt... i wanna get past this because i know i wont find another, but im trying and its becoming harder each day. i find myself not even being able to eat anymore, seeing i havent in around 4 days. There are certain physical things that we do that she and i both have never experienced before and they are nice, but its still tough when you go to have normal sex and u have to think that someone else has been in there before... Oh, please. Just get help for your obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm afraid you will not not be able to handle when you experience any REAL problems in a normal, healthy relationship. Sorry this is such a problem for you. I guess I just can't understand. If you can't let it go, it will be better for you to let her go, because if you dare feel the need to throw this in her face, then you will hurt her like you will never know. You get help for your issues, and if you can't get over it, let her find someone who doesn't have this problem, so she can be appreciated the way she deserves.
Pocky Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 You obviously havent taken these courses seeing the fact that the ONLY thing that hurts when u have sex is the breaking of the hymen, it has nothing to do with tightness because of the fact that a vagina is made to expand and contract. Since you don't have a pussy, I wouldn't be as quick to claim when it should and shouldn't hurt during sex. If there isn't enough lubrication it can hurt. If the size of the man is too big it can hurt. If a woman hasn't had sex in a long time it can hurt. I've even bleed (and YEARS after I lost my virginity) because it had been so long that I had become so tight that it tore my skin. And as a side note: 1) You're too immature to comprehend why virginity is/isn't important. To you it's a "someone been here before me and since I own this pussy now it pisses me off". 2) You are too self-absorbed to even consider that your attitude to your girlfriend regarding her previous sex life is degrading, disrespectful and completely void of sincere love. 3) You are too ignorant of a woman's body to be actively participating in sex yourself.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by allen10981 Ok drama then how do u explain the other girl that i was with before this one that hadnt had sex since march of the past year and we didnt do anything until august one year later? thats over a year, and she never felt an ounce of pain... so you tell me? and this wasnt normal friction, this was PAIN, she was CRYING, dont u listen? It took me around 5 minutes to even get the friggen thing inside of her. Maybe you were so hung up on not capturing her virginity you forgot foreplay.
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 take in the @ss and write me back, allen. your anus expands and contracts all the time. and no matter how many times it's done, you will know. no sex does not hurt for me, but my bf is average. but when i did loose my virginity, the dude was normal size, and yeah, it was kinda painful, buit nothing i did not want or exoect to feel. the second guy i was with was a larger guy and it hurt more with him and i bled the first 2 times. grow up, get yourself straightened out before you go out looking for another to bring down with you. i am not trying to be real mean or nasty....but you are not being very respectful either..not that i expected it after reading some of your replies. here is a link to some other posts you should read before you continue. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t51794/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t45340/ we are here to help, not for you to abuse. if you do not like what we think do not respond...it just eggs us on to keep helping you.
tanbark813 Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by allen10981 Ok drama then how do u explain the other girl that i was with before this one that hadnt had sex since march of the past year and we didnt do anything until august one year later? She probably had a vibrator. I mean, she was with you, you can't blame the poor girl.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by tanbark813 She probably had a vibrator. I mean, she was with you, you can't blame the poor girl.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 im done tryingto debate with you people... i was there, i had the sex, i know what went on she was wet as hell our first time, trust me i know what foreplay is she was sore everytime she had sex before me (not as bad as her first no, but still nonetheless), and after the first couple of times we did it, it didnt hurt anymore. But this comment wont matter cuz ill put money down that everyone will say im lying to prove my point, blah blah so if ur gonna sit here and tell me im wrong, dont bother I was there, i saw the tears, i saw the pain in her eyes, and i felt the resistance, and i felt like an absolute a**h*** afterwards... I just wanna know if i did anything wrong because it hurt me to hurt her like that...
ntovrhm Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Hurting during your first sexual experience together is an issue if you meant to hurt her, but not if you didn't. You are obsessing about this now. What you really will do is hurt her if you don't get over her limited sexual past. Please get over it, or move on and don't bring her down with you. There is nothing we can tell you to make you get over it, except to stop obsessing about it. And that is why you need the professional help.
Author allen10981 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 i just dont wanna hurt nemore... i just wanna be happy, and i dont know why i cant...
ntovrhm Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 The only way to stop hurting about it is to let it go, and focus on the future that you two can have together. Neither of you can change the past, so you just have to learn how to handle it. The counseling should hopefully help if you cannot do it on your own. I am sorry you are hurting.
Recommended Posts