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Not exactly broken up, but I made her feel guilty, now she's upset and wants time

cm00

By cm00
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

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Quick question about something that complicates matters.

 

She's an estate agent, and I'm in the process of buying a $300,000 house so this is of high importance. She told me last friday she's looked at it but she saw a different place she'd have got. She also told me she'd get on to my solicitor for me to hurry them up because they are dragging their feet.

 

Then that drama happened on Saturday and now i'm in a situation where I shouldn't talk to her.

 

What do I do? The contract to sign came today for the house and i'm almost at the point where i can no longer back out of the purchase. This is a big deal. What she told me as an estate agent has me concerned. Has she seen an issue with the place I picked? Why this other place? I'd like to ask her about it. Can I even do that or is it going to make things worse?

Edited by cm00
barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

* banging head off wall*

 

Re read all the damn posts.

 

LEAVE HER ALONE!

 

Your looking for ways to justify to make it right to contact her.

 

Oh bout no.

 

Its very simple man.

 

Suck in your bottom lip and let freakin go.

 

Your waiting for one person to be like "OK go for it" to justify it

 

 

Cut it out.

 

NO CONTACT.

 

NO CONTACT.

 

one more time?

 

NO CONTACT.

 

* slaps you with keyboard *

 

 

 

Barky

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
  • Author
Posted
* banging head off wall*

 

Re read all the damn posts.

 

LEAVE HER ALONE!

 

Your looking for ways to justify to make it right to contact her.

 

Oh bout no.

 

Its very simple man.

 

Suck in your bottom lip and let freakin go.

 

Your waiting for one person to be like "OK go for it" to justify it

 

 

Cut it out.

 

NO CONTACT.

 

NO CONTACT.

 

one more time?

 

NO CONTACT.

 

* slaps you with keyboard *

 

 

 

Barky

 

Actually I'm looking to be told it's a bad idea because I had a feeling it was, just wanted to be sure if that was the case.

barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

*smacks you again *

 

 

If you know its wrong..its wrong.

 

No one should tell you otherwise

 

You have a good head on your shoulders.

 

But come to a COMPLETE vault until she reaches out.

 

 

 

 

Barky

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted

She is learning how to treat you. You are showing her.

 

 

She bailed on your plans, didn't even bother to tell you, and then she gets mad when your upset about it?

 

 

She doesn't give a rats ass about your feelings it sounds like.

  • Author
cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
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Posted
*smacks you again *

 

 

If you know its wrong..its wrong.

 

No one should tell you otherwise

 

You have a good head on your shoulders.

 

But come to a COMPLETE vault until she reaches out.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

This is basically applying the no contact rule I take it? It's not an official relationship, there was nothing to end. We were seeing each other casually. No contact rule still works then?

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
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Posted
She is learning how to treat you. You are showing her.

 

 

She bailed on your plans, didn't even bother to tell you, and then she gets mad when your upset about it?

 

 

She doesn't give a rats ass about your feelings it sounds like.

 

It's a bit of a gray area. When she, her brother and her friend said they would be out the next night, I said about meeting up, she did not want to make plans. She said we'd all end up in the same place anyway. So officially we never made any plans. It depends how you look at it, she's obviously going to look at it her way.

barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

"You are going over and over the same thing. Please just stop apologizing now. I am still upset with you so leave me be please. I have to think about what I want to do and you texting me is not helping your cause. I will let you know if and when I want to discuss it again".

 

 

 

This is what she said correct?

 

Leave her alone.

 

No contact means that, leaving her the hell alone.

 

"Will nc work"?

 

Huh?

 

Your giving her space

 

Once again if u want any chance to be with this girl you need to respect her asking to leave her alone for awhile...and actually do it.

 

I promise you bro, the more you push the further shell go

 

I used to do the same, then I started thinking " every single text I send to her reaching out pushes her a week further away"

 

Catch my drift?

 

Oh guess what.

 

Probably like a lot of others on here, I left her the hell alone and she contacted me.

 

Go consume your mind in sometjing else.

 

 

 

Barky

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"You are going over and over the same thing. Please just stop apologizing now. I am still upset with you so leave me be please. I have to think about what I want to do and you texting me is not helping your cause. I will let you know if and when I want to discuss it again".

 

 

 

This is what she said correct?

 

Leave her alone.

 

No contact means that, leaving her the hell alone.

 

"Will nc work"?

 

Huh?

 

Your giving her space

 

Once again if u want any chance to be with this girl you need to respect her asking to leave her alone for awhile...and actually do it.

 

I promise you bro, the more you push the further shell go

 

I used to do the same, then I started thinking " every single text I send to her reaching out pushes her a week further away"

 

Catch my drift?

 

Oh guess what.

 

Probably like a lot of others on here, I left her the hell alone and she contacted me.

 

Go consume your mind in sometjing else.

 

 

 

Barky

 

Seems like good advice. I just need strong words to keep me from giving in during a possible moment of weakness. I'm self employed working from home, it's a very isolating lifestyle to live, too much time with own thoughts!

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
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Posted

Well, yesterday her friend who she works with, who I barely even know, added me on Facebook. So I figure it has something to do with her.

 

Also I was out last night and someone else who I think may know her text me at 1am and asked what I was doing. I told her I was out. She asked if was out alone. I was so that's what i told her, that seemed to be all she was interested in asking me.

 

Considering these two things I thought perhaps she would like me to hear from me, so this afternoon I text her this.

 

"Hi. Hope you've had a good week. If you ever want to talk things over let me know. We've not had a sober chat in so long. I could do with a little talk about my house purchase too, the contract came this week. Enjoy your weekend"

 

5 minutes later she text back and invited me over for dinner tonight. Likely be spending the night there.

 

That went well :)

barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

So I see you didn't leave her the hell alone like I advised.

 

Don't get your hopes up man.

 

And do not TALK about the relationship while you're there

 

I hope for the best for you....but prepare for the worst.

 

 

 

Barky

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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Don't talk about the relationship? Remember I'm not in a relationship with her. We've been seeing each other casually, she used the term **** buddies but that was early on. We are not yet sure if more will ever come from it, but we've discussed it before and neither is against the idea of being more than just casual some day. She said she wouldn't be seeing me at all if she knew nothing would come from it.

 

She is quite a bit older than me, at first it bothered her, and she wasn't going to see me again because of it. But she told her friends about me and they encouraged her to go for it and got me to come out with them, things went well, they liked me, and she feels a lot better about it now. I've met several of her close friends and her brother and got on very nicely with them. She has told me that she is very torn over me. She talks about me a lot to her close friends, they all seem to know me before I've even met them! She ended a three year relationship just a few weeks before we met, she wasn't looking for another one. She kicked the last guy out because he became obsessed with online games and played them all day, and she had enough. That relationship was probably dead a long time ago, she hadn't slept with him for 5 months. She absolutely intended to stay single and of course she wouldn't want to jump straight into a relationship again so soon.

 

She has said things to me that indicate that this is more than just casual. She told me she would not sleep with anyone else while we are casually seeing each other. She apologized for having a picture of her ex on her fridge still. Talking about me to her close friends.

 

So you think I shouldn't talk to her about our situation? Whatever is going on between us, it's a little confusing I think for both of us. Wouldn't it be best to both be clear on whatever this is, so there's no misunderstandings? Then again it seems like she doesn't even know herself so it might not be such a good idea unless she brings it up.

Edited by cm00
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cm00 Established Member

cm00

Posted
  • Author
Posted

All is well. She said she was going to text me saturday to come see her and was glad I messaged her.

 

Spent the evening with her and had a lazy Sunday with her. When I did not reply to her last message for a whole week, I think she worried if she had pushed me away for good. We're closer than before now.

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