Not exactly broken up, but I made her feel guilty, now she's upset and wants time

[cm00]

I've been casually seeing this lady for a little while now, it's great, and we know there could be more in the future between us.

 

Last weekend she told me she would see me out but she changed plans and stayed in and didn't notify me. I ended up very drunk and lonely and sent her a few drunk texts and in that state i managed to make her feel guilty (didn't realize i was doing it at the time).

 

Next morning i hear back from her, and she's not happy with me for those texts. She doesn't call it off, but she does let me know she's very disappointed in me.

 

I immediately apologized and told her I was very drunk and I didn't mean what I said. She didn't answer, i sent another text and then a joke about how phones should be confiscated after several vodkas. She replied to that and here is what she wrote.

 

"You are going over and over the same thing. Please just stop apologizing now. I am still upset with you so leave me be please. I have to think about what I want to do and you texting me is not helping your cause. I will let you know if and when I want to discuss it again".

 

This was on sunday, so only 2-3 days ago. I have not sent her any messages after receiving that and i've not received any from her either.

 

Does it sound like she's going to cool off and forgive me, by what she said? And what should I do? Must I wait for her to contact me or if after a week or so should I send her a message and ask her how her week has been or something?

Edited September 10, 2013 by cm00

[Philosoraptor]

Well all you can do right now is be patient, and if things work out favorable, not make the same mistake again.

 

Out of your control right now, but you're doing the right thing by respecting her request.

[cm00]

Well all you can do right now is be patient, and if things work out favorable, not make the same mistake again.

 

Out of your control right now, but you're doing the right thing by respecting her request.

 

Yes i didn't even reply to her message. I assume that was the best thing to do? I could have replied and let her know I understand will let her be but I don't know if that would have been such a good idea. She should understand that the only reason i did not text back is because she asked me to stop texting her, right?

 

So you think i should not contact her again unless she contacts me first? Not ever?

[barky2]

Id leave it be for a month....minimum.

 

The more you push the further it goes.

 

You've said sorrry.

 

Now leave it.

 

 

 

Barky

[cm00]

So i couldn't wait a week and then say something like

 

Hi. I've been a bit quiet, was just thinking of you.

Hope you've had a good week. x

 

That would make it worse?

[barky2]

Well you can do whatever you'd like lol.

 

Id HIGHLY suggest leaving it alone.

 

Once again I say, every time you reach out you push her away.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[StarsOnFire]

So she ditched you, without letting you know, and got mad because it hurt your feelings?

 

Yeah, I'd leave it alone.

[cm00]

Do you think it sounds bad or you reckon i'll hear from her again? Bare in mind she liked me a lot prior to this and this is the first time i've really upset her. I've just bought a $300,000 house too, paid with cash in full (no mortgage) and she knows i'll be moving into it soon. Not bad for a 29 year old.

 

In the last message she sent before that one, she said she does like me but she is disappointed with those texts.

 

Could this be a form of punishment? Or perhaps a way to see if i get all needy or if I do as she asked? Basically based on what she said, if I hold back, you think she'll get back?

[cm00]

So she ditched you, without letting you know, and got mad because it hurt your feelings?

 

Yeah, I'd leave it alone.

 

Not exactly like that, an old lady friend from another part of the country was down and staying with her, and her brother. I wasn't supposed to be seeing her at all this week but I bumped into them the night before and they asked me to join them. She didn't make any plans with me, just told me she'd probably see me out the next night, then they decided not to go out, and she didn't text to let me know.

[Brown-Eyez]

I've been casually seeing this lady for a little while now, it's great, and we know there could be more in the future between us.

 

Last weekend she told me she would see me out but she changed plans and stayed in and didn't notify me. I ended up very drunk and lonely and sent her a few drunk texts and in that state i managed to make her feel guilty (didn't realize i was doing it at the time).

 

Next morning i hear back from her, and she's not happy with me for those texts. She doesn't call it off, but she does let me know she's very disappointed in me.

 

I immediately apologized and told her I was very drunk and I didn't mean what I said. She didn't answer, i sent another text and then a joke about how phones should be confiscated after several vodkas. She replied to that and here is what she wrote.

 

"You are going over and over the same thing. Please just stop apologizing now. I am still upset with you so leave me be please. I have to think about what I want to do and you texting me is not helping your cause. I will let you know if and when I want to discuss it again".

 

This was on sunday, so only 2-3 days ago. I have not sent her any messages after receiving that and i've not received any from her either.

 

Does it sound like she's going to cool off and forgive me, by what she said? And what should I do? Must I wait for her to contact me or if after a week or so should I send her a message and ask her how her week has been or something?

 

What did your texts say that made her so mad?

[tart6245]

Sounds a bit like my situation. I was seeing someone casually and she, well, had a one night stand. I got drunk and got into a drunk fight. She got mad when I tried saying sorry the morning after. It's been over 2 weeks now. I am going to leave it alone for the time being. I may try to apologize at some point again to see if she has cooled off but you have to give it time. Respect her request to be left alone.

[cm00]

What did your texts say that made her so mad?

 

I was really drunk when i wrote them.

 

10.30pm Hi, are you out yet? Been in a few pubs, don't see anyone i know, it's crap.

 

12.05am Quite drunk, by myself

 

12.30am I take it you're not coming out tonight. Great. Thanks for texting back.

 

1.20am I've gone home, crap out by myself drunk. I get it maybe that girl wasn't lying after all

 

(last text is reference to a girl the night before who tried to stir up trouble by telling me the woman i was interested in didn't like me. Let's just say I've never seen my woman get so angry at someone after I told her what this girl said. The reason this girl said it, was because she was after me for herself, i've a small history with her and she still likes me a lot.)

[tart6245]

I was really drunk when i wrote them.

 

10.30pm Hi, are you out yet? Been in a few pubs, don't see anyone i know, it's crap.

 

12.05am Quite drunk, by myself

 

12.30am I take it you're not coming out tonight. Great. Thanks for texting back.

 

1.20am I've gone home, crap out by myself drunk. I get it maybe that girl wasn't lying after all

 

(last text is reference to a girl the night before who tried to stir up trouble by telling me the woman i was interested in didn't like me. Let's just say I've never seen my woman get so angry at someone after I told her what this girl said. The reason this girl said it, was because she was after me for herself, i've a small history with her and she still likes me a lot.

 

That's not as bad as me, but I had heard things about the girl I was seeing too about her being immature, untrustworthy and the like and told her I guess her former friends were right about her.

 

I honestly think the best thing to do is back off for a bit. It's irritating and I had a lot of trouble staying cool the first week or so, but since then I feel a lot better about it. If I apologize and she forgives me, great, but if not, who cares? There are others out there.

[cm00]

That's not as bad as me, but I had heard things about the girl I was seeing too about her being immature, untrustworthy and the like and told her I guess her former friends were right about her.

 

I honestly think the best thing to do is back off for a bit. It's irritating and I had a lot of trouble staying cool the first week or so, but since then I feel a lot better about it. If I apologize and she forgives me, great, but if not, who cares? There are others out there.

 

Yeah the temptation to text is difficult but she was quite clear and i must say polite in her text to me. I think it could end well because she did let me know that my texting her was not helping my cause because she is still upset with me. Implying she knows she's going to get over it?

 

A lot of her close friends have met me and now also her brother, they all like me, she talks to all of them about me. So I think that's what she'll do, talk about it with friends to help her decide.

Edited September 10, 2013 by cm00

[tart6245]

Yeah the temptation to text is difficult but she was quite clear and i must say polite in her text to me. I think it could end well because she did let me know that my texting her was not helping my cause because she is still upset with me. Implying she knows she's going to get over it?

 

A lot of her close friends have met me and now also her brother, they all like me, she talks to all of them about me. So I think that's what she'll do, talk about it with friends to help her decide.

 

It doesn't matter what she does, honestly. She said to leave her alone, so you need to for at least 2 weeks, if not more. It gets easier as the days go on. I have no urge to contact the girl I was seeing, but a week ago, I was on the edge of my seat wanting to talk to her.

 

At least giving them a few weeks to cool off is safer than trying to push them to talk. Sometimes they will get over what they're angry about and talk about it. Sometimes they won't and you just have to move on. I have no idea what either one will do in our situation, but I promise pushing them won't help.

 

But drunk texts are awful sometimes. I know I would've never said what I said had I not been drinking all day.

[cm00]

It doesn't matter what she does, honestly. She said to leave her alone, so you need to for at least 2 weeks, if not more. It gets easier as the days go on. I have no urge to contact the girl I was seeing, but a week ago, I was on the edge of my seat wanting to talk to her.

 

At least giving them a few weeks to cool off is safer than trying to push them to talk. Sometimes they will get over what they're angry about and talk about it. Sometimes they won't and you just have to move on. I have no idea what either one will do in our situation, but I promise pushing them won't help.

 

But drunk texts are awful sometimes. I know I would've never said what I said had I not been drinking all day.

 

Yeah i was reading an article about how girls are reactive to what men do. You push, they pull away. You pull away, they'll push.

 

What i wrote wasn't really all that bad for a drunk text, but I think what's done it is she's looking upon it as an attempt to make her feel guilty.

[GG3]

Your texts weren't bad in my opinion.

[cm00]

Your texts weren't bad in my opinion.

 

I'll probably be okay then, she should forgive me?

[GG3]

Why didn't she let you know you weren't going to hang out? That was rude.

 

Does she know what your text meant about what the other woman said about her? Specifically what was said about her?

 

I don't think you should feel the need to be forgiven. Your texts were only human and not bad.

[cm00]

Why didn't she let you know you weren't going to hang out? That was rude.

 

Does she know what your text meant about what the other woman said about her? Specifically what was said about her?

 

I don't think you should feel the need to be forgiven. Your texts were only human and not bad.

 

I don't know, I've heard you shouldn't try to make someone feel guilty for their actions as it's a form of manipulation. I should have stopped after i had no reply to the first text.

[loversquarrel]

To put it quite simply, does the punishment fit the crime? I think not. In a normal, reciprocal adult relationship things like this happen and we voice our disapproval to one another. You made her upset and apologized for acting the way you did. That should be enough, at least it is when people care for one another.

 

You are both immature. Don't ever drunk text a woman and make her feel guilty. Laying guilt is manipulative behavior and not masculine at all, a huge turn off. Her over reaction is just as bad and wreaks of controlling, dramatic behavior. I'd take my lumps and steer clear of this DQ if I were you.

[heartshaped]

I don't think this particular woman is that interested in you. If she was, she would've responded to one of your earlier texts or not be that annoyed by what you said as it was really not that bad at all in my opinion. Perhaps a little clingy, annoying, and guilt ridden, but nothing I wouldn't forgive a guy I really liked for.

[Babolat]

I've been casually seeing this lady for a little while now, it's great, and we know there could be more in the future between us.

 

Last weekend she told me she would see me out but she changed plans and stayed in and didn't notify me. I ended up very drunk and lonely and sent her a few drunk texts and in that state i managed to make her feel guilty (didn't realize i was doing it at the time).

 

Next morning i hear back from her, and she's not happy with me for those texts. She doesn't call it off, but she does let me know she's very disappointed in me.

 

I immediately apologized and told her I was very drunk and I didn't mean what I said. She didn't answer, i sent another text and then a joke about how phones should be confiscated after several vodkas. She replied to that and here is what she wrote.

 

"You are going over and over the same thing. Please just stop apologizing now. I am still upset with you so leave me be please. I have to think about what I want to do and you texting me is not helping your cause. I will let you know if and when I want to discuss it again".

 

This was on sunday, so only 2-3 days ago. I have not sent her any messages after receiving that and i've not received any from her either.

 

Does it sound like she's going to cool off and forgive me, by what she said? And what should I do? Must I wait for her to contact me or if after a week or so should I send her a message and ask her how her week has been or something?

 

Leaver her alone..and don't text while intoxicated.

[Brown-Eyez]

Try not to stress too much about what you did.

 

Leave her alone and most likely she'll come around

 

And remember your lesson from this!

[tart6245]

You didn't even say anything that badly. Hardly as bad as what i said. Just leave her alone. If she comes around, great, if not, who cares. It's her loss.