What would you do

[last_atlant]

Hi all,

 

Just wanted to have your take on this.

 

I wouldn't want to bore you with my life story so I would try keep it short. I had been in a relationship once my whole life. I wouldn't consider it to be a proper one cause I was treated really badly by my partner. Consequently, I don't have much experience in this field.

 

After I broke up, I did like some girls here and there but never had the balls to approach them. I hit the gym to buff up in hopes it would give me greater confidence in approaching girls but guess what happened? Gymming ended up as a form of escape. Instead of approaching a girl I liked, I ended up hitting them gym telling myself “you need to work harder first before they would consider you”.

 

So recently, I fell for a friend (lets call her X). One day, I plucked up the courage to ask her out for a run and she said she would let me know if she was interested. She didn’t reply. X subsequently asks me if I am single and that she has a girl to recommend me (lets call her Y). Another friend (lets call her Z) together with X kept telling me to meet Y as she is good. I did meet up with Y for a short chat and wasn’t very interested. However, I told Y that I would take her out for lunch subsequently ( I asked cause Z had asked me to). I know it sounds quite stupid but really didn’t know how to what to say to Y and had to get Z’s help. X later comes to tell me that Y told her she likes me. I was quite upset when I heard this.

 

So why wasn’t I that into Y? Both X and Z tell me she is attractive. But I come to realize that beauty is entirely subjective and I tend to fall easily for fair girls with rounded faces. I know that looks aren’t everything, personality counts as I learnt from my first relationship. But I believe there has to be some physical attraction before a spark can develop?

 

What would you do in my situation? Should I ask Y out?

I had spoken to a friend previously on this and he told me that I should definitely do so cause I should see this as a practice session (like getting to learn how to talk to girls) so that when the right one comes along I can sweep her off her feet. While this does make sense, I don’t wish to hurt Y in the process by leading her on.

 

Thank you for reading

[Philosoraptor]

Physical attraction is usually where things start. Would you approach a stranger for a date if you didn't find them attractive?

 

Just because you have lunch with her doesn't mean it has to lead to anything romantic. You might make a lifelong friend by getting to know her. There is no pressure to suddenly marry her, so just meet with her on a friendly way.