Hindsight is 20/20, waking up from a nightmare, and it will get better...

[whatdreamsmaycome]

Wow, reading my very first post months ago, I never would have guessed I'd end up here. The first thing I want to say though is if something makes you feel weird uncomfortable once, it's okay to question whether it's something in your own past that might be the cause... but if your gut instinct is telling you over and over again that something doesn't feel right... and on top of that people are telling you that something doesn't seem right... just run, as fast as you can. I didn't listen, and I kept doubting myself (this is so troublesome to me because if I really loved myself and valued myself I wouldn't have doubted myself), and I let his manipulative tactics brainwash me...

 

And then, he dumped me... while I was still in his bed. No sign, no warning, I had no clue. Turned off his phone and acted like I didn't exist. Removed me from all social networking. I sent him 3 emails - the 1st one was a bit desperate, asking him for an explanation and ME apologizing for anything I did to make him want to leave (yes, pathetic, I know). When he replied coldly to that one, my next email was a bit scathing. He replied calmly to that telling me those "harsh words are quite unecessary." My last email just stated simply that I realize it would have never worked out in the long run anyway and hope he takes care of himself. He seemed annoyed by that one and wrote back telling me to have a nice life and that he'll probably see me around work.

 

That was a month ago, and I have seen him around work, flirting with all sorts of women - which is so weird because one of the things I liked about him was that he didn't seem to be a "flirt". And there's one girl that is almost 20 years younger that him that his attention is focused on (and honestly it probably was before our relationship ended too).

 

Needless to say, it's been quite rough... how I wish I could rewind time and never dated this man... it's made everything so mucky, especially at work. I've contemplated quitting, I've cried in the bathroom, I've sat in my car during lunch breaks alone because I couldn't stand being around anyone. It has been so painful, and I believe it was due to the traumatizing way it all ended. But the good news is that today, I felt a shift in my body... that I am not as upset over it as I was before. Sure there are thoughts here and there... maybe a little jealous over this incredibly young girl possibly replacing me... But my logical mind knows this guy is a master manipulator and overall scumbag. I would have never been happy... so it's okay.

 

Just wanted to say, it'll get better! Whatever you are feeling now will change, sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it's quicker... but you won't suffer forever! Have hope!

[melell]

Good for you!

 

I have those moments where I am like 'dodged a bullet' and 'I would have never been happy', those moments are saviors.

[crazy1234]

Wow, reading my very first post months ago, I never would have guessed I'd end up here. The first thing I want to say though is if something makes you feel weird uncomfortable once, it's okay to question whether it's something in your own past that might be the cause... but if your gut instinct is telling you over and over again that something doesn't feel right... and on top of that people are telling you that something doesn't seem right... just run, as fast as you can. I didn't listen, and I kept doubting myself (this is so troublesome to me because if I really loved myself and valued myself I wouldn't have doubted myself), and I let his manipulative tactics brainwash me...

 

And then, he dumped me... while I was still in his bed. No sign, no warning, I had no clue. Turned off his phone and acted like I didn't exist. Removed me from all social networking. I sent him 3 emails - the 1st one was a bit desperate, asking him for an explanation and ME apologizing for anything I did to make him want to leave (yes, pathetic, I know). When he replied coldly to that one, my next email was a bit scathing. He replied calmly to that telling me those "harsh words are quite unecessary." My last email just stated simply that I realize it would have never worked out in the long run anyway and hope he takes care of himself. He seemed annoyed by that one and wrote back telling me to have a nice life and that he'll probably see me around work.

 

That was a month ago, and I have seen him around work, flirting with all sorts of women - which is so weird because one of the things I liked about him was that he didn't seem to be a "flirt". And there's one girl that is almost 20 years younger that him that his attention is focused on (and honestly it probably was before our relationship ended too).

 

Needless to say, it's been quite rough... how I wish I could rewind time and never dated this man... it's made everything so mucky, especially at work. I've contemplated quitting, I've cried in the bathroom, I've sat in my car during lunch breaks alone because I couldn't stand being around anyone. It has been so painful, and I believe it was due to the traumatizing way it all ended. But the good news is that today, I felt a shift in my body... that I am not as upset over it as I was before. Sure there are thoughts here and there... maybe a little jealous over this incredibly young girl possibly replacing me... But my logical mind knows this guy is a master manipulator and overall scumbag. I would have never been happy... so it's okay.

 

Just wanted to say, it'll get better! Whatever you are feeling now will change, sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it's quicker... but you won't suffer forever! Have hope!

Some days are dark and scary and some days are hopeful and fresh.Just waiting for the day when dark and scary days regarding our exs finally disappear.