thegreatesthumphrey Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 (edited) okay. So me and this guy had been seeing each other for about 6 months. Or at least having a sexual relationship since then. Two months ago we became official and I actually moved in partially to help him watch his daughters and because I needed a little financial help. Everything was going great and we each gave each other space because he is a hardcore introvert. We use his laptop together and yesterday he left a forum up. I decided to look at it and thought ut was just some political opinion or what not because he is always on them and I've seen other ones he wrote. Was just curious what he was opinionated about. Never thought I would run into what I did. Apparently after reading one post I realized what this site was. It was a players site. I read two posts both about me then stopped. Pretty offensive stuff. But that was before we were official and I am nit upset about it at all. I would be stupid to think he couldn't date other people before we were official. He chose me and has expressed nothing but care for me. My problem is that I care about him so much and felt like I needed to be honest with him that I saw his personal business that I shouldn't have. If I was really after that I would be all up in his facebook and his phone. I told him and he was upset with me but he said he wasn't at the point of yelling or anything like that but he got distant which is expected. I gave him his house key back took a couple of things told him that I still wanted him and that I would give him his space to decide what he wanted and I would be waiting for his text. I asked him for a hug though before I left just in case he didn't text me and he got up out ofbed and gave me a good hug. Where do you thinj this might end up? Edited September 10, 2013 by thegreatesthumphrey important
melell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I am not sure... but you were right to ask for space. That is for sure a red flag. When I met my ex I wanted to take it really slow, I wouldn't sleep with him and so on for months, and would see him rarely, even though he lived in the same town, I wanted to be sure. I read a message on his phone after noticing him hiding it from me at the start. He had been sleeping with someone else. After being so cautious I decided that things were 'new', I can get over it because he had no obligation to me. I was with this person for 8 years. He emotionally cheated on me with several people through out the relationship. Only the BU did I find out he cheated on me during year 3. I wish I had walked away at the start. Not saying your situation will turn out the same, but people can be very very charming and completely hide their character. Put yourself first, don't take anything less than what you deserve. Being with him could be a risk for sure, but it might be worth taking it- I am really not sure
Author thegreatesthumphrey Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Yeah. I could see your point. Sorry you went through that. People are so untrust worthy. I feel like I can trust him though. I just think he has kept himself so closed off he might not know how ti get attached to someone anymore which would just be a path of failure for me.
melell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 mmm yeah. It is so hard to know! Just for clarification what is a players site?
Author thegreatesthumphrey Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 I had no idea at first but it was called zenmack university where guys talk about the "game"
melell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Just looked it up. It doesn't look good... I am not sure I would trust the character of a person who posts there. I would certainly be pissed if posts were about me. Could be harmless though.
robaday Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 havent seen the site, but heres an alternate view. Ive been on pick up sites where guys give you advice on picking up, dating, sex, or even relationships - I continued to use them during my long term reltionship - why? Because, like Loveshack, those sites give men advice on how to maintain their relationships, how to handle conflict, how to spice things up, how to handle all kinds of issues in relationships. A lot of the pick up community isnt as bad as its made out to be. Neil Strauss recently got married - its more self help than anything, just like something like Cosmopolitan or other womens mags are - i mean those are full of advice on how to land a man, how to have great sex etc...... I dont know the content of what he was writing about nor the specifics of that site, but just wanted to throw in a different opinion
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