Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I'm 23. I met this guy a few months ago through friends and we've all been hanging out a lot as a group over the summer, doing really fun things like picnics and visits to amusement parks, what groups of friends like doing together. Recently for the last month or two he's been giving off vibes that he likes me. We had a "date" last week (not even sure if that's what it was) and are due to have another one this week, he seems to be wanting to see me often recently. He always chats to me on fb chat, like every day, and it's recently been getting very flirtatious. He also compliments my appearance. What is confusing me is that he makes comments to me about other girls. Not about any girls in particular, but just girls as a whole in a typical "guy" way. For example he was telling me about a trip he made to the beach last weekend with his guy friend, and he complained to me that "it was so cold that we didn't even see any girls in bikinis!". Then last night we were flirting a bit over Facebook chat, he was telling me about some mathematical fact for which I complimented him coquettishly "clever guy! I'm impressed ;)" to which he responded "ah now I know what to say to a girl I meet next time I'm at a club :D". A couple of weeks ago I went to my best friend's birthday party which was at a very nice bar, he doesnt know her so he wasnt there so I told him about this wonderful place afterwards and his response was "Sounds like a nice place for me to impress a girl one day!". These are only a few examples out of the sea of such comments that he makes, and as you can see they are making me uncomfortable. As he and I are getting closer I don't want my emotions to run away with me if it seems as if he's not actually interested. Would he be acting this way just to make me jealous or does he just look upon me as a friend?
Ouroboros Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 He might not think you are interested. He might not know better. He might be trying to get a rise out of you. Etc. Perhaps you should ask to go a date with him alone instead of a "date" with friends.
Author Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 He might not think you are interested. He might not know better. He might be trying to get a rise out of you. Etc. Perhaps you should ask to go a date with him alone instead of a "date" with friends. As I said we had a first one-on-one "date" last week, and have another one coming up this week. I don't refer to group meetups as dates.
Ouroboros Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 As I said we had a first one-on-one "date" last week, and have another one coming up this week. I don't refer to group meetups as dates. You keep referring to these dates in quotes implying you don't quite think they are dates. If you are confused by the situation then ask him about it directly. 1
Author Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 You keep referring to these dates in quotes implying you don't quite think they are dates. If you are confused by the situation then ask him about it directly. I know, I just don't want to make things awkward between us if they're not dates. He's a great friend
Ouroboros Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I know, I just don't want to make things awkward between us if they're not dates. He's a great friend Is he only a great friend in your mind?
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I know, I just don't want to make things awkward between us if they're not dates. He's a great friend If you've ever told him this or anything close to this that would explain why he is going on about other women. 1
Author Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 If you've ever told him this or anything close to this that would explain why he is going on about other women. Oh no I haven't said that to his face. It's just my personal reason for not bringing up the subject with him, things will never be the same if it turns out he's not interested.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I'm 23. I met this guy a few months ago through friends and we've all been hanging out a lot as a group over the summer, doing really fun things like picnics and visits to amusement parks, what groups of friends like doing together. Recently for the last month or two he's been giving off vibes that he likes me. We had a "date" last week (not even sure if that's what it was) and are due to have another one this week, he seems to be wanting to see me often recently. He always chats to me on fb chat, like every day, and it's recently been getting very flirtatious. He also compliments my appearance. What is confusing me is that he makes comments to me about other girls. Not about any girls in particular, but just girls as a whole in a typical "guy" way. For example he was telling me about a trip he made to the beach last weekend with his guy friend, and he complained to me that "it was so cold that we didn't even see any girls in bikinis!". Then last night we were flirting a bit over Facebook chat, he was telling me about some mathematical fact for which I complimented him coquettishly "clever guy! I'm impressed ;)" to which he responded "ah now I know what to say to a girl I meet next time I'm at a club :D". A couple of weeks ago I went to my best friend's birthday party which was at a very nice bar, he doesnt know her so he wasnt there so I told him about this wonderful place afterwards and his response was "Sounds like a nice place for me to impress a girl one day!". These are only a few examples out of the sea of such comments that he makes, and as you can see they are making me uncomfortable. As he and I are getting closer I don't want my emotions to run away with me if it seems as if he's not actually interested. Would he be acting this way just to make me jealous or does he just look upon me as a friend? Honestly, it sounds like a really immature way to assess your feelings towards him. He's testing you and trying to see if you'll become jealous because he likes you. What type of "vibes" is he giving off that he likes you?
Author Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 (edited) Honestly, it sounds like a really immature way to assess your feelings towards him. He's testing you and trying to see if you'll become jealous because he likes you. What type of "vibes" is he giving off that he likes you? A recent example of a vibe is this: I recently had a surgery a few days ago and before that I told him I might not be able to see people for a couple of weeks. He said "Is this the last weekend I can see you before you go under the knife?" when i confirmed that, his reaction was "oh no!! Then I must come visit you one last time!!" And he came to my apartment. After my surgery he was all like "when can I see you next? " And we talk all the time on fb chat, he has started flirting a lot with me recently. As part of our "date" last week we had dinner and then went clubbing and while we were dancing he was getting a little too close to me, trying to kiss me, I never kiss guys in such a drunk setting so I didn't let him. I hope this didnt put him off, I don't think it did because since then I've been giving him a strong vibe that I like him too He asked me on a romantic date which we are going on this Friday, involving dinner and the river. Theres a river festival this week. It is a bit of an expensive package- a set 3 course meal plus for the location. He's not paying for me though (he didn't pay on the first "date " either) which is making me none the wiser about whether he wants a date or just a friendly hangout. He has a good job and earns a fair bit. I am not a girl who thinks the guy should pay each time, infact i treated my ex more than he treated me. But at an early stage it just helps to clarify whether we are dating or not. He did say that he "wouldn't want to go with anyone besides me"....so many mixed signals! Edited September 10, 2013 by Sweeetie Typo
Ouroboros Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 A recent example of a vibe is this: I recently had a surgery a few days ago and before that I told him I might not be able to see people for a couple of weeks. He said "Is this the last weekend I can see you before you go under the knife?" when i confirmed that, his reaction was "oh no!! Then I must come visit you one last time!!" And he came to my apartment. After my surgery he was all like "when can I see you next? " And we talk all the time on fb chat, he has started flirting a lot with me recently. As part of our "date" last week we had dinner and then went clubbing and while we were dancing he was getting a little too close to me, trying to kiss me, I never kiss guys in such a drunk setting so I didn't let him. I hope this didnt put him off, I don't think it did because since then I've been giving him a strong vibe that I like him too He asked me on a romantic date which we are going on this Friday, involving dinner and the river. Theres a river festival this week. It is a bit of an expensive package- a set 3 course meal plus for the location. He's not paying for me though (he didn't pay on the first "date " either) which is making me none the wiser about whether he wants a date or just a friendly hangout. He has a good job and earns a fair bit. I am not a girl who thinks the guy should pay each time, infact i treated my ex more than he treated me. But at an early stage it just helps to clarify whether we are dating or not. He did say that he "wouldn't want to go with anyone besides me"....so many mixed signals! A frank discussion will clear it up.
Author Sweeetie Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 A frank discussion will clear it up. I can't talk to him about it. If he wants things to progress that way and with enough 'mutual vibes' from me he will take the lead I hope!
Ouroboros Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I can't talk to him about it. If he wants things to progress that way and with enough 'mutual vibes' from me he will take the lead I hope! I thought you were looking for clarification.
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