Soulmate or Life Partner

[Viro12]

Would you ever leave your long term partner in a happy relationship for someone who you think is a better fit? Or perhaps your soulmate?

 

Do you believe in soulmates?

 

Do u believe in working hard in relationships?

 

Discuss please,

[melell]

To be honest, I would work hard with the long term relationship before considering leaving for someone else.

 

I think people 'bond' with each other, and that is as special as anything.

 

If I were to believe in soul mates I would think that we could have more than one soul mate, because I would wonder how a soul mate connection starts in the first place. lol.

 

But yeah, for sure, I wouldn't consider anyone else until a) That person stopped loving me, b)It had played out to the bitter end.

 

That is just me though.

[todreaminblue]

I would not leave a long term partner for another even if the relationship was unhappy and i was attracted to another, i never leave a relationship first...never have..........i try my guts out but if i get left behind..then i am free i go my own way..relationships arent just about attraction they should be about firm friendship ...you dont betray friends and you dont leave happy long term relationships for a passing whim......deb

[Viro12]

If only my ex gf had thoughts like yours, then things would've been different between us.

 

Thing is, I'm just confused. I wish that this person she left me for is her soulmate because then I can look at it and say it's for the best. If it doesn't work out for her, I'll be kinda sad since she through away us for an illusion.

 

My mornings are really bad, and idk why. I am able to be fine throughout the day, but I wake up with a hole in my chest.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Viro12

[candie13]

if I were happy in my relationship, I would not consider shopping around for someone who looks to be a better fit. Truth is, you never know that, until you try.

 

and people are not merchandise, to be traded as one pleases. If you are happy in your relationship, you may look, you may think, but if you choose to do anything disrespectful towards your relationship, chances are... you were not that happy to begin with.

 

Resisting temptation is not hard, if there is love, respect and trust.

[Viro12]

if I were happy in my relationship, I would not consider shopping around for someone who looks to be a better fit. Truth is, you never know that, until you try.

 

and people are not merchandise, to be traded as one pleases. If you are happy in your relationship, you may look, you may think, but if you choose to do anything disrespectful towards your relationship, chances are... you were not that happy to begin with.

 

Resisting temptation is not hard, if there is love, respect and trust.

 

 

She was happy. She just found someone she claims that can read her mind. She feels this is the better option for her in life. She has a strong "go ahead" personality, if there's a thought she'll pursue it or else she think she'll have regrets.

[candie13]

Well, there's a time for everyone to learn that not everything that shines in the sun is gold. Every person has a responsibility towards themselves to do whatever they think would make them happy. Your ex thought another guy would make her happy.

 

MAybe he will, maybe he won't, that is not your issue anymore.

 

The issue is... there will always be people that look more appealing out there. Better looking, better careers, more interesting. It is not ok to continually upgrade, because then you're only shopping around and at some moment, your partner might do the same and upgrade for someone else, better.

 

In the end, the only thing you really must focus on is your relationship with her. If she left for someone else, it means her feelings for you were not as strong. It means she didn't really appreciate you for whom you really were. Her loss. Everyone needs a partner to love them for themselves, not because they are the hottest in the room.

 

So... IMO, she may have been "happy" with you, but it doesn't mean she loved you. People who truly love each other, don't do this. You deserve a woman to love you and appreciate you.

 

It's just that in life, there are no guarantees. No one can for sure guarantee that you will continue to stay married with the same person forever. Or 6 months. Or 10 years. No guarantees.

 

Sorry, mate. Focus on getting to know your partner a little bit better... I don't think it'll make your life surprise free, but at least, you will be going into the right direction.

 

best of luck

[candie13]

She has a strong "go ahead" personality, if there's a thought she'll pursue it or else she think she'll have regrets.

 

Regrets my arse, that is one pathetic excuse. How about regrets for what she's leaving behind? What is the new guy isn't just as "great" as she thought he would be and in the end, you are the better partner?

 

Excuse me, that is a horrible excuse. She left you because she felt like it and she doesn't want to appear the bad girl in your eyes. Decent people don't do this. Or at least, if they do, they call it as it is: "she didn't feel like settling and wanted to keep testing the water".

 

Move on, dude!

[Viro12]

Regrets my arse, that is one pathetic excuse. How about regrets for what she's leaving behind? What is the new guy isn't just as "great" as she thought he would be and in the end, you are the better partner?

 

Excuse me, that is a horrible excuse. She left you because she felt like it and she doesn't want to appear the bad girl in your eyes. Decent people don't do this. Or at least, if they do, they call it as it is: "she didn't feel like settling and wanted to keep testing the water".

 

Move on, dude!

 

she said she does have regrets, but she feels so strongly about this she's willing to take the chance. *I guess that's BS too*

 

well her loss.

 

sorry, I'm moving on, it's just i had a bad morning.

[candie13]

The right move would be to stop caring about what she feels, says and does and focus on yourself. What did this relationship bring you, how did your ex gf make you feel, what did she bring to your relationship and... were you happy with that?

 

Acknowledge your pain and the injustice, rather than focus on her. You will have few more bad mornings, but it will get better, I tell you that .

[Viro12]

The right move would be to stop caring about what she feels, says and does and focus on yourself. What did this relationship bring you, how did your ex gf make you feel, what did she bring to your relationship and... were you happy with that?

 

Acknowledge your pain and the injustice, rather than focus on her. You will have few more bad mornings, but it will get better, I tell you that .

 

Eh, that's the illogical part.... She never did anything for me. I received nothing that she gave that I didn't ask. I've always been more of a giving person so I took my happiness in seeing her happy (how doormat).

 

In the end, she didn't made me feel loved at all, she didn't defend the relationship. Before this happened she didn't make it clear she had a boyfriend to the people in her office. I never needed her for comfort because I was fine on my own.

 

I'm happy though, but it was because I was happy with myself already. Maybe that's why I had the effort to make her happy. She never once asked about my feelings or my life.

 

I'm not a person that's big on needs. I've always dealt with them myself pretty finely. I don't need another person to comfort me unless it's something super major and I don't like to bring my problems into the relationship.

 

But I was content with what I had, knowing that she can be comfortable and herself around me and see that smile on her face was all I could ever ask and want for. Most importantly it was (now gone) knowledge that she loved me.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Viro12