omarthedude Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Okay, so I've been on here several times before and I find that the Loveshack community is by far the most helpful than the multitudes of relationship forums out there so I've come back for some advice. I've dated a lot. In fact, I dated 4 different girls earlier this year. Nothing serious because I've recently gotten out of a failing relationship last year that left me a bit cautious as to who I let into my love life. That being said, I've never dated a college girl. One that I have class with regularly. I've had infatuations, naturally, but have dealt with them. So I just started a new program at a college and it's the 2nd week. I have, for the very first time, met someone that I actually 'click' with. We have a ton of things in common; same background and past etc. Today was actually the first time we talked and I invited her near my desk where we both sat and did our assignments while teasing each other playfully and laughing. One guy beside me literally went, "You like that girl don't ya?" He couldn't have been more spot-on. I do like her...but now what? My question is: How should I proceed? Should I wait a bit and not rush into anything? I don't want to seem too eager or desperate, because I know women can smell desperation a mile away. How do I show her that I have value and goals of my own and I'm not desperate? (I'm not looking at her as if she's the only girl out there for me, in fact, I have my eyes set on several. But this one just seems right, and I don't want to mess up. She's only been in the country for 5 months now and it would be awesome if she could see me for the cool person I am and not for a creep.) Any and all help is appreciated! Thanks!
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 My question is: How should I proceed?[/Quote] Do you have her number yet? Get it. Do you know if she's single? Find that out asap. Should I wait a bit and not rush into anything?[/Quote] You don't have to bang this girl by next week, but you need to communicate to her non verbally (actually, somewhat verbally) that you see her as dating potential and not a classmate I don't want to seem too eager or desperate, because I know women can smell desperation a mile away. How do I show her that I have value and goals of my own and I'm not desperate? She will see that in time, if you really have it. If you try to force it, like you said -- she'll smell the desperation. Don't try too hard. Dating is very easy, it's just that people tend to make it complicated. You have two groups of people. People that want to date you, and people that don't want to date you. There are no magic moves to bring someone from the "does not want to date you" pool over to the "wants to date you" pool. Your job is to find out which one she fits into. I have been suave with women that absolutely could not care less, and was a bumbling spaz with girls that ended up being really attracted to me anyway. People are gonna like you for who you are. You're just trying to find out which ones do. You can't make someone like you. So, find out her relationship status. Get a feel for how she responds to you, and take it from there.
emva07 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Go sit near her one day, start a conversation like you would any new encounter (but with a flair of flirty), see how she responds, if she shuts you down, oh well, at least you tried, if she responds well, talk to her in other classes and eventually ask her out.
Author omarthedude Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Go sit near her one day, start a conversation like you would any new encounter (but with a flair of flirty), see how she responds, if she shuts you down, oh well, at least you tried, if she responds well, talk to her in other classes and eventually ask her out. I did exactly that. Here's an update: So yesterday I was at the school's bookstore and she came and lined up behind me and started talking. Teasing etc. We hit it off really well joking around. She has a good sense of humour. I got her number, and she asked for mine. Done. She accompanied me to my locker and we both headed out together. But here's the thing. I keep getting the feeling that she's like this with everyone. Y'know those hyper type of girls? Like those. In fact, just this morning in class she was chatting with some other guy sitting at the front (I came late so...) then she went around to some other guys looked at their designs and such and said hi to me. I went up to her and started up a convo which resulted in her coming to my desk and talking about my stuff. We had a laugh and then went about our business. That's it. She's very talkative. The guy sitting beside her told me that she 'shattered his self esteem' in just one class. He was being sarcastic 'cause she talks a lot! I don't want to keep my hopes up if this is just an infatuation. Advice? I talk to all the girls in the class, I'm really not afraid to talk to any girls. What if she has feelings for this other guy? Or some other guy?.
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