NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Well, this isn't so much as a "problem" but more of a thank you for everyone who's posted on my threads in the past and helped out. I'm glad there's a community here that's so open and helpful! The other point of this thread ...it really does pay to wait for the "right" one. Tonight I got a surprise from a girl who I've been on-and-off with dating-wise (basically, friendzoned if you call it that), but something told me to stay and support her. Well, tonight she told me that after the weekend we had together (we spent the weekend together, but during the days only) that she'd grown closer to me than ever and felt ready to go further. Thus, I asked her out officially and we're now a couple. I haven't stopped smiling and it's been a couple hours since then! So again, it's worth the wait if you find someone who you truly do connect with but may be on the fence about going further. Keep on and I hope those of you who yet to find someone do so. Thank you all again! 10
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Well, this isn't so much as a "problem" but more of a thank you for everyone who's posted on my threads in the past and helped out. I'm glad there's a community here that's so open and helpful! The other point of this thread ...it really does pay to wait for the "right" one. Tonight I got a surprise from a girl who I've been on-and-off with dating-wise (basically, friendzoned if you call it that), but something told me to stay and support her. Well, tonight she told me that after the weekend we had together (we spent the weekend together, but during the days only) that she'd grown closer to me than ever and felt ready to go further. Thus, I asked her out officially and we're now a couple. I haven't stopped smiling and it's been a couple hours since then! So again, it's worth the wait if you find someone who you truly do connect with but may be on the fence about going further. Keep on and I hope those of you who yet to find someone do so. Thank you all again! Awwww, congrats! We should all be so lucky. Good luck with your new budding relationship!
ChessPieceFace Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Sorry but I call BS. If a girl friendzones you that's it. Either you're making it up or she's just using you until she finds a "real man" (according to her insane woman-mind) and then dumps you back into the friendzone. Yep, not buying it.
FitChick Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I know a divorced woman in her forties with three kids who was giving a man in his late twenties dating advice. This was over the course of the year. He wound up falling in love with her and moving in. She hadn't been looking for love. She was the only woman who didn't play games, genuinely cared about him and wanted him to succeed in all areas of his life.
Author NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Sorry but I call BS. If a girl friendzones you that's it. Either you're making it up or she's just using you until she finds a "real man" (according to her insane woman-mind) and then dumps you back into the friendzone. Yep, not buying it. A bit cynical don't you think? I wouldn't be making something like this up, for one thing. This whole "friendzone" thing is nonsense anyway. It works this way: if you like someone and they don't feel the same way about you, you can either a) get over your feelings and remain friends, or b) distance yourself until you can handle being around them knowing they may eventually be with someone that's not you. In the beginning she was unsure but showed signs of at interest in ways. She pulled back when things got to a certain point, but it was more of "do I really want this yet?" and not disinterest. If we didn't go anywhere in the past few months I would've fully moved on. A couple months ago when we chatted about things and she decided she only wanted a friendship I was faced with that choice - and I chose to be her friend getting over my feelings. That worked for a while until we started getting attached to each other without even knowing it. I never formally asked her out until last night ...but we've been dating all this time. It's these natural progressions that make it all worth it in the end. I'm not saying it works for everyone or that your "crush" secretly likes you back and you should bend over backwards and be taken advantage of, but some people just have a wall up that will be torn down over time. It all depends on their past and how they feel about being around you for a longer period of time. That's just my take though. I've read many threads on here and offered advice where I can. The whole dating experience is different for every person and situation, so there's no hard-and-fast (giggity) way of knowing what will come out of it. That said, thank you all again for your support. I'll still be around offering advice when I can. 2
Arabella Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Sorry but I call BS. If a girl friendzones you that's it. Either you're making it up or she's just using you until she finds a "real man" (according to her insane woman-mind) and then dumps you back into the friendzone. Yep, not buying it. Nonsense. I "friendzoned" my now-fiance for half a year until I was good and ready to move forward... Sometimes, a woman may recognize the value in a man but simply does not want a relationship at that time. Such as having recently broken up with somebody else, or having a stressful time at work, etc. -A 2
Author NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Nonsense. I "friendzoned" my now-fiance for half a year until I was good and ready to move forward... Sometimes, a woman may recognize the value in a man but simply does not want a relationship at that time. Such as having recently broken up with somebody else, or having a stressful time at work, etc. -A That's what happened in my case. She was really stressed about work over the summer and changes in her life that she didn't feel ready for anything more. Once that settled we spent some time together and those uncertain feelings disappeared.
Kelly15 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I friend zoned the guy I wrote about on here for over a year, years later I love him more than ever. Girls are different from guys , sometimes it takes time. And I believe it's better that way. 2
Author NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 I friend zoned the guy I wrote about on here for over a year, years later I love him more than ever. Girls are different from guys , sometimes it takes time. And I believe it's better that way. So true! I couldn't be happier. I'm going to see her tonight for dinner. My head's still in the clouds but I'm letting things go as they will. 1
Kelly15 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Well , still give her space and let her feeling grow on their and they will. So happy for you!
Author NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Well , still give her space and let her feeling grow on their and they will. So happy for you! I definitely will be. She really wanted to see me today so that's why I'm going she has college to worry about too so I let her do what she needs to do and we plan things together really.
Dallers Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Well, this isn't so much as a "problem" but more of a thank you for everyone who's posted on my threads in the past and helped out. I'm glad there's a community here that's so open and helpful! The other point of this thread ...it really does pay to wait for the "right" one. Tonight I got a surprise from a girl who I've been on-and-off with dating-wise (basically, friendzoned if you call it that), but something told me to stay and support her. Well, tonight she told me that after the weekend we had together (we spent the weekend together, but during the days only) that she'd grown closer to me than ever and felt ready to go further. Thus, I asked her out officially and we're now a couple. I haven't stopped smiling and it's been a couple hours since then! So again, it's worth the wait if you find someone who you truly do connect with but may be on the fence about going further. Keep on and I hope those of you who yet to find someone do so. Thank you all again! So true buddy, I am waiting and will continue to wait until that one comes along. You really have to add up the pros and cons and the majority of the time when just dating somebody random that you know will come to nothing it is not worth the hassle. Sit back, enjoy your own life without relying on someone else and then when she finally comes along you are ready. If she never does,.... woo hoo more doing what I wanna do all the time 1
todreaminblue Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 congratulations nate so happy for you...:bunny:.....good things come those who wait......glad it was you they came too....hugs atcha...deb 1
Author NateC Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 congratulations nate so happy for you...:bunny:.....good things come those who wait......glad it was you they came too....hugs atcha...deb Thank you so much! 1
candie13 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I friend zoned a guy for three months... what do u know, I ended up dating him for 8 months! u never know
Dallers Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I friend zoned a guy for three months... what do u know, I ended up dating him for 8 months! u never know On behalf of all men, for those three months I curse you!
ChessPieceFace Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 This whole "friendzone" thing is nonsense anyway. It works this way: if you like someone and they don't feel the same way about you, you can either a) get over your feelings and remain friends, or b) distance yourself until you can handle being around them knowing they may eventually be with someone that's not you. In the beginning she was unsure but showed signs of at interest in ways. She pulled back when things got to a certain point, but it was more of "do I really want this yet?" and not disinterest. If we didn't go anywhere in the past few months I would've fully moved on. A couple months ago when we chatted about things and she decided she only wanted a friendship I was faced with that choice - and I chose to be her friend getting over my feelings. That worked for a while until we started getting attached to each other without even knowing it. I never formally asked her out until last night ...but we've been dating all this time. You were never in the friend zone. You were behind some other guy and he was removed from the picture. 1
Author NateC Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 You were never in the friend zone. You were behind some other guy and he was removed from the picture. There wasn't any other guy. She tells me everything ...we were basically best friends for the longest time before she wanted something more. She just needed time to get her own life on track. I went to see her tonight and we cuddled for a while ...then we kissed. It felt amazing. Of course, have to put on the brakes a little...take things a bit slow. We both want to so we can enjoy everything more.
Author NateC Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Do you have any strong male role models in your life? Were you raised by a single mother? You sound like a woman and I hate to break it to you... This isn't going to end well for you. You put this woman on a pedestal and worship her like a God. That isn't what a woman wants and nobody wants to be your EVERYTHING. There's a difference between "worshipping like a God" and treating someone like a decent human being with feelings. 1
Atem Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 There's a difference between "worshipping like a God" and treating someone like a decent human being with feelings. Skid has a point bub.... Here are the facts (based on what you said): 1. she knew you liked her but she still strung you along for a while 2. whenever SHE felt she's ready she told you and you jumped right away (i.e. she's in full control and she knows it) 3. you DO seem to worship her and she seems to eat that up - at the moment... Tread very carefully. Maybe this'll work out and she really is truly ready for you. However, more likely than not, there was another guy whom she prioritized but who didn't work out. Hence she returned to you and is enjoying your attention/affection - for now Move things slowly and do NOT invest too many feelings into her too early on. Give this 5-6 weeks and re-evaluate after whether things are still as hot as they are now or whether they've fizzled a bit Just for your own good... 1
Author NateC Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Skid has a point bub.... Here are the facts (based on what you said): 1. she knew you liked her but she still strung you along for a while 2. whenever SHE felt she's ready she told you and you jumped right away (i.e. she's in full control and she knows it) 3. you DO seem to worship her and she seems to eat that up - at the moment... Tread very carefully. Maybe this'll work out and she really is truly ready for you. However, more likely than not, there was another guy whom she prioritized but who didn't work out. Hence she returned to you and is enjoying your attention/affection - for now Move things slowly and do NOT invest too many feelings into her too early on. Give this 5-6 weeks and re-evaluate after whether things are still as hot as they are now or whether they've fizzled a bit Just for your own good... You do have a point. We're definitely moving things slowly and we're very open about talking about everything, so that helps. I know there was no other guy involved, but your point still stands.
string of letters Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Sorry but I call BS. If a girl friendzones you that's it. Either you're making it up or she's just using you until she finds a "real man" (according to her insane woman-mind) and then dumps you back into the friendzone. Yep, not buying it. Umm... according to those who study these things, the term 'friendzone' originates from the American sitcom 'Friends'. Do you really think profound truths about the female psyche come from a sitcom? Congrats to the OP. 1
candie13 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 On behalf of all men, for those three months I curse you! hahaha, no worries, I curse myself as well. It didn't end up well, but that's another story. truth is, there is no perfect receipt for disaster. We are the master of our own catastrophe, which means... it can go either way: you can start dating a person immediately and goes sour, or after three months. or after six. and still go sour. the only thing everyone of us should focus on is having a GOOD TIME and actually liking that person. I mean, if you wait, date a guy you don't really like, see him for x amount of time and not have a good time and then end that relationship... well, it's just a waste of time, ain't it? what I'm trying to say is: just enjoy whomever you're seeing, folks! don't settle.
RedRobin Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 There's a difference between "worshipping like a God" and treating someone like a decent human being with feelings. (ten characters) 1
RedRobin Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 OP, everyone is obliged to guard their hearts when getting to know someone. Don't listen to the band of 'men' who insist you have to treat a woman like crap, treat every interaction like a power struggle, and assume the worst in order to do that. I come from a long line of happily married people. My parents have been married for nearly 50 years. Their relationship is balanced and BOTH of their needs are met. It can be done! You seem to be on the right path for that. Wishing the best for you.
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