jcm101 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Just got back. Met her a campus social event last week. We held hands coming back to bring her to her place. We hugged and I was about to go for kiss, but she started walking away. She also said "tonight was cute and fun"..kind of threw me off and got me down a little and the fact she didn't even say thank you for dinner once. Dinner wasn't bad, kept her laughing decent eye contact..she did seem sort of nervous. She said I'll see you tomorrow as she walked away as the weekly club thing I think...not sure how to play this now...any advice?
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Likely not interested man, she wasn't feeling it or she'd have stood there for the kiss or told you she had a great time or some crap like that. If she's more of the shy/conservative type she could have just been nervous and taking it a bit slow is the pace that's comfortable for her...but for now just see how she acts around you at the social club, but honestly I would say she wasn't interested. Don't let it get you down as much as possible, show up with a smile, be confident and try to just be loose and don't worry about the outcome...just give or take, if she's interested she'll give you that signal or attention, especially if she initiates...if she says hi and kind of plays it off like it never happened then it's looking like the friendzone. Don't panic, don't over-think it or beat yourself up over it...as hard as it is don't react and just try to bear the brunt of whatever you're feeling, if you try and go for the jugular and do something very forward and persistent you're going to fall on your face and just feel worse about it...but if that's what you need to do.
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 She may have been really nervous and just honestly forgot to thank you for the dinner. She may thank you later. I think if you're interested you send a quick text an hour after saying something like, I had a great time we should do this again and see how she responds. 1
Author jcm101 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Likely not interested man, she wasn't feeling it or she'd have stood there for the kiss or told you she had a great time or some crap like that. If she's more of the shy/conservative type she could have just been nervous and taking it a bit slow is the pace that's comfortable for her...but for now just see how she acts around you at the social club, but honestly I would say she wasn't interested. Don't let it get you down as much as possible, show up with a smile, be confident and try to just be loose and don't worry about the outcome...just give or take, if she's interested she'll give you that signal or attention, especially if she initiates...if she says hi and kind of plays it off like it never happened then it's looking like the friendzone. Don't panic, don't over-think it or beat yourself up over it...as hard as it is don't react and just try to bear the brunt of whatever you're feeling, if you try and go for the jugular and do something very forward and persistent you're going to fall on your face and just feel worse about it...but if that's what you need to do. I think I messed up because she didn't just hug me and run off. She did kind of "stand there" and she said she had a fun time and she'll see me tomorrow. I really messed up. I should of at least tried for the kiss. If she denied me, then so be it. Damnit.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I think I messed up because she didn't just hug me and run off. She did kind of "stand there" and she said she had a fun time and she'll see me tomorrow. I really messed up. I should of at least tried for the kiss. If she denied me, then so be it. Damnit. You're doing it... the more you think about it, the worse it's going to get. Take my advice and just cool off, let it slide off your shoulder...go do some yoga meditation or some crap, the last thing you want to do is try and go back and make up for it....it's about timing and the time has passed, it doesn't mean you won't get a second chance...just might not be with this girl but don't obsess and put all your eggs in one-basket. If you break under the pressure, it's not going to go well...if you want a chance, your best bet right now is to play it cool, don't go down with a sinking ship unless you need to learn that lesson. 2
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I think I messed up because she didn't just hug me and run off. She did kind of "stand there" and she said she had a fun time and she'll see me tomorrow. I really messed up. I should of at least tried for the kiss. If she denied me, then so be it. Damnit. Calm down! Not going for a kiss on a first date is really not that big a deal. I like a guy who is nervous and respectful enough to not be all over me. She just may think its cute.
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I'm one of those people where I appreciate a follow up text soon after the date. That night works for me! It allows her to either show you she wants to go out again, or shows you she isn't interested. I fully believe in finding out sooner rather than later.
Author jcm101 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 yeah, I def. need to calm down. I don't know, dinner went decent some good vibes. Held hands coming back. She even said "I'll see you tomorrow" in relation the event. Do I ask her out in person tomorrow or what? Im just not sure how to play it from here.
Author jcm101 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Still no text or anything thanking me for last night. She did say ill see you tomorrow as I walked away, as that event thing is tonight, How do I play this? Do I ask her out in person? I just don't know how to play this if I see her tonight or what a good 2nd date idea would be,
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Just show up...talk to her, see how the vibe feels and how she's acting towards you. Her body language should say something to you, just make light conversation and then if it feels right then ask her out again, but don't over-think...it's not like this thing where you go in with a gameplan then execute, you've got to adapt and flow with it and get a feel for things instead of just trying to figure out what you're going to do and what might happen before you're even there. Be casual, confident and just be yourself and speak/converse.
loveandstuff Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I think she was just nervous! Don't think about it so hard. I did all those same things on my first date, as she did. Forgot to thank him, didn't give much eye contact (I was nervous and I'm not a huge eye contact type of person), I didn't kiss him and I didn't want him to kiss me. The guy I was on the date with freaked out, just like you are, and thought I wasn't interested at all. He thought he had no chance. Well guess what, we've been dating for about 7 months now. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take a breather. Text her maybe later tonight saying you would love to go out again some time. If she isn't interested, just let it go.
Author jcm101 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Saw her tonight at same weekly event and said hello. She basically just hugged me and then moved on to talking to her friends. Didn't ask how I am or anything or ask how my back was, as I was in the hospital over the weekend. She made no effort either to come over to me as I was talking with my friend who she knows too. Most likely done with her unless she initiates and i'll go from here. Good news is I got a girl's number in the library today. She was completely different than last week when I met her. It's like she didn't want anything to do with me. IMO. I really don't know what to do now. We barely even talked tonight, at all. It's like the date never existed. Maybe she's just shy? But she wasn't when I first met her..Weird. I guess i'll just move on and see if she texts me..if not, then whatever. Should I even shoot her a text asking her for a 2nd date or no? We did say goodbye, but nothing special.
Author jcm101 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Saw her tonight at same weekly event and said hello. She basically just hugged me and then moved on to talking to her friends. Didn't ask how I am or anything or ask how my back was, as I was in the hospital over the weekend. She made no effort either to come over to me as I was talking with my friend who she knows too. Most likely done with her unless she initiates and i'll go from here. Good news is I got a girl's number in the library today. She was completely different than last week when I met her. It's like she didn't want anything to do with me. IMO. I really don't know what to do now. We barely even talked tonight, at all. It's like the date never existed. Maybe she's just shy? But she wasn't when I first met her..Weird. I guess i'll just move on and see if she texts me..if not, then whatever. Should I even shoot her a text asking her for a 2nd date or no? We did say goodbye, but nothing special. I'm still not sure what to do. Maybe she was just shy? but she wasn't when I met her. I don't know about asking her for a 2nd date, I guess it can't hurt to ask?
365daysgone Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Man. Listen to what everyone else is saying. Stop thinking about it! You're gonna kill yourself with it as I have done before. She's likely not interested I know it sucks but just think how many girls are out there. You will find someone else and survive. You got it?!
Author jcm101 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Man. Listen to what everyone else is saying. Stop thinking about it! You're gonna kill yourself with it as I have done before. She's likely not interested I know it sucks but just think how many girls are out there. You will find someone else and survive. You got it?! Yeah, you're right. I'm not even going to waste my time calling/texting her for a 2nd date. If she wants to do some sort of initiating, then she can text me and i'll go from there. Even if she was shy, she wasn't when I first met her. There's no reason to not make any effort to ask how I am doing and feel as I was in the hospital and recovering. On to the next one...plenty out there for me!
white Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I secured a second date today with someone I met a couple weeks ago and having spent the intervening time trying to ask out again to excuses about work and tiredness, I was assuming wasn't interested. This was the last shot I was going to take and it worked. She seems keen, crying off of an invite to something from her friends to go out with me. There is a time and effort limit on these things for self preservation, but you haven't hit it yet. You haven't asked her out again. 1
Author jcm101 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 ^^^ True, but after thinking I have no reason to ask for a 2nd date. No thank you text or anything since then. She completely blew me off that night when I said hello. I said hello, Hug and kiss on cheek and then she turned away from me. I don't need to be disrespected and isołated like that. Ill save my pride and go out there and find someone who still acknowledges the guy they went on a date with the previous night. 1
Author jcm101 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Like an idiot, I listened to my friend and texted her to see how she was. I know I just did the opposite of what I said above. She responded rather quickly asking me how I am and stuff and then no response since yesterday morning. Done with these games. Should I just ignore here when I see her at that event possibly again Tues?
Recommended Posts