Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 So, today, I got a completely unexpected and unintentional taste of what POF may be like in my area. I had plans for lunch with 2 friends today after work, one of whom recently broke up with her boyfriend after he cheated on her with her friend. We were heading over to the restaurant and this guy she'd talked to on POF said he was in the area and wanted to meet her. Cool. She agreed and figured since we were gonna be there anyway it would be good to have 2 friends with her. The lunch was slightly awkward. The both of them were clearly nervous as could be but it was kind of cute. My friend kept botching up her words and saying weird things. He pretty much clammed up the whole time but kept complimenting my friend on her hair, eyes, etc. I tried to keep the convo going between them, lol. Eventually got them on a topic they both had in common and from there they were golden. Looks like they will probably go out again So perhaps POF might not be a bad choice. It worked out decently for my friend. She didn't put any pictures up on her profile, but he contacted her within 5 minutes of her creating her profile. Lately I've been considering some kind of OLD - this was a good indicator of the fact that it might not be bad at all. 1
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 So, today, I got a completely unexpected and unintentional taste of what POF may be like in my area. I had plans for lunch with 2 friends today after work, one of whom recently broke up with her boyfriend after he cheated on her with her friend. We were heading over to the restaurant and this guy she'd talked to on POF said he was in the area and wanted to meet her. Cool. She agreed and figured since we were gonna be there anyway it would be good to have 2 friends with her. The lunch was slightly awkward. The both of them were clearly nervous as could be but it was kind of cute. My friend kept botching up her words and saying weird things. He pretty much clammed up the whole time but kept complimenting my friend on her hair, eyes, etc. I tried to keep the convo going between them, lol. Eventually got them on a topic they both had in common and from there they were golden. Looks like they will probably go out again So perhaps POF might not be a bad choice. It worked out decently for my friend. She didn't put any pictures up on her profile, but he contacted her within 5 minutes of her creating her profile. Lately I've been considering some kind of OLD - this was a good indicator of the fact that it might not be bad at all. Yikes..... 6
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I say it's great to have an ad online and keep options open in real life! I suggest having a thick skin for online and don't believe anyone till after a couple of months getting to know them. Meet up as soon as possible. 9 times out of 10 they will look NOTHING like their pics! It's fun, I've met people I would have never met otherwise. I exclusively date online because of having such a hard time meeting anyone IRL. Good luck! But don't get carried away just because you THINK you've met a great guy unfortunately a lot of times with OLD they are posers.
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Yikes..... Lol, I was thinking yikes too but hoping for the best! Well, I say yikes because it seems desperate. And a lot of guys just keep hitting refresh waiting for new bait. But this COULD BE a one in a million chance that he's a good guy.... Just don't get your hopes up! 1
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 ?? what? You don't see an issue with someone messaging another person 5 minutes after their profile was made, before the person even put pictures up? 1
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 You don't see an issue with someone messaging another person 5 minutes after their profile was made, before the person even put pictures up? No. She intentionally didn't put pictures up. Has no plans to. It's nice that he contacted her just to chat with her regardless of looks. 2
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 No. She intentionally didn't put pictures up. Has no plans to. It's nice that he contacted her just to chat with her regardless of looks. Or it comes off as creepy/desperate that a dude would talk to and decide to meet someone he never even saw a picture of. If her plan is to intentionally not put pictures up her experience with OLD is going to be...interesting...to say the least. 3
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 No. She intentionally didn't put pictures up. Has no plans to. It's nice that he contacted her just to chat with her regardless of looks. Have you ever OLD before?
veggirl Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Sounds good, just don't bring friends with you to a first date! That's a good way to make an already awkward situation even more awkward, lol. 1
white Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 When I briefly used POF I didn't care if someone had pictures. I cared if they were the right age, shared interests and were local enough to not feel like an idiot going to meet them (maybe 15 miles tops preferably less, not that I met anyone). If I'd been on there and a profile I hadn't seen before emerged from the terrible interface of POF (seriously that site is so ugly and bad) I would have messaged away. What's the big deal anyway, this dude forged ahead with his date bringing 2 friends along (not sure I'd do that, feel like I'm on trial) and apparently passed all their tests, so he can't be that bad.
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Or it comes off as creepy/desperate that a dude would talk to and decide to meet someone he never even saw a picture of. If her plan is to intentionally not put pictures up her experience with OLD is going to be...interesting...to say the least. She showed him a picture after they chatted a bit, but she doesn't intend to put any photos up. She will share a photo of herself after chatting with a guy if she thinks he sounds reasonable. She wants to keep a certain amount of privacy I suppose. She also did not share her real name on the profile, and only told him her real first name after chatting with him. Have you ever OLD before? Nope.
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Sounds good, just don't bring friends with you to a first date! That's a good way to make an already awkward situation even more awkward, lol. She didn't bring us on her first date, we had lunch plans already and he decided to swing by and meet her there.
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 When I briefly used POF I didn't care if someone had pictures. I cared if they were the right age, shared interests and were local enough to not feel like an idiot going to meet them (maybe 15 miles tops preferably less, not that I met anyone). If I'd been on there and a profile I hadn't seen before emerged from the terrible interface of POF (seriously that site is so ugly and bad) I would have messaged away. What's the big deal anyway, this dude forged ahead with his date bringing 2 friends along (not sure I'd do that, feel like I'm on trial) and apparently passed all their tests, so he can't be that bad. Yeah, nobody found that lack of pictures to be an issue. But like I said in the original post, she did not bring us along on a date, the 3 of us ladies already had lunch plans and he willingly chose to stop by and meet her knowing full well that she would be there with us. He did just fine. He's cute, respectful, works 2 decent jobs. A 2nd date would be appropriate
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Phoe if you don't see anything weird about this picture then it's probably not even worth attempting to explain...we'll just see how this goes, I think you're a little unaware of what OLD is. 1
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 She showed him a picture after they chatted a bit, but she doesn't intend to put any photos up. She will share a photo of herself after chatting with a guy if she thinks he sounds reasonable. She wants to keep a certain amount of privacy I suppose. She also did not share her real name on the profile, and only told him her real first name after chatting with him. Nope. You'll get what we're trying to say after you've done it. Just don't take people at face value. Come back with what you think after a couple months of OLD. You'll understand. As far as not posting pics, it's like that in the beginning but then you'll realize you have to, then you'll shrug and say you know what it's not a big deal I'm keeping my pics up! 1
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Phoe if you don't see anything weird about this picture then it's probably not even worth attempting to explain...we'll just see how this goes, I think you're a little unaware of what OLD is. Could it have been weird? Absolutely. ANYTHING on the internet can turn weird. But in this case things seemed fine. Normal. Nothing scary or crazy. 2 people meeting up, chatting, grabbing some food. While I have no experience with OLD, I don't see how I'm "unaware". Nobody had any problems today... 1
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 You'll get what we're trying to say after you've done it. Just don't take people at face value. Come back with what you think after a couple months of OLD. You'll understand. As far as not posting pics, it's like that in the beginning but then you'll realize you have to, then you'll shrug and say you know what it's not a big deal I'm keeping my pics up! I still haven't 100% decided whether I'm gonna try OLD or not, but after today my likelihood is a bit higher. If I did, I would post a picture though. I have no problem with what she wants to do. If she doesn't want to post a picture that does not bother me one bit. I just personally would post one.
veggirl Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Woah the OLD veterans in this thread make it sound terrifying. Phoe I think you should give it a shot, I think if you have to do it for months & months as someone mentioned, then let it go. But for a month or two, why not? That's probably as long as it should be used anyway.
HappyLove Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Woah the OLD veterans in this thread make it sound terrifying. Phoe I think you should give it a shot, I think if you have to do it for months & months as someone mentioned, then let it go. But for a month or two, why not? That's probably as long as it should be used anyway. I actually like it, I'm just saying be careful. They say you should have an ad for at least a year.
Author Phoe Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Woah the OLD veterans in this thread make it sound terrifying. Phoe I think you should give it a shot, I think if you have to do it for months & months as someone mentioned, then let it go. But for a month or two, why not? That's probably as long as it should be used anyway. Haha, yeah, the whole point of my thread was "Hey! I know someone in my town who used OLD and the experience was nice.", and people had a massive reaction like "WHOA hey no, that's not okay. No. BAD!!" lol. I just am happy to see something positive and wanted to share 1
Divasu Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Be vewry vewry crafeul Bugs Phoey... Expect to be overwhelmed with messages/IM's the second you hit "submit". That was the 1st website I heard of through friends years ago when I became newly single, and it is like someone else mentioned, fresh meat being dipped into a pond. I'm sure there are some decent blokes on there, be safe and enjoy. 2
loveandstuff Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 That's good your friend had a positive experience with POF. I met my boyfriend on POF. He messaged me after my second or third day of being on the site and thought he had no chance. We talked for about 4 days, met in person, and started dating a month later I had to go through a couple duds to find him though. But he was the only guy I went on a date with. This isn't bragging or anything, but I'd have 10 new guys messaging me daily, but maybe 1 out of every 20 was worth talking to. I either wasn't attracted to them or there was something else I didn't like. I got my two best friends to join, once I started dating my boyfriend. we were all confident that they'd find nice guys also. But 7 months later, they still haven't found the right guys. It depends on you and fate I guess. My boyfriend created his profile the day after I created mine. It was chance that he even created one because he had so many bad experiences with online dating. What I'm trying to say is, you can't base what your experience will be off of what your friends was. It's different for every person. But, I do encourage you to try it! You never know, maybe Mr. Right is creating a profile right now 1
Atem Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 That's good your friend had a positive experience with POF. I met my boyfriend on POF. He messaged me after my second or third day of being on the site and thought he had no chance. We talked for about 4 days, met in person, and started dating a month later I had to go through a couple duds to find him though. But he was the only guy I went on a date with. This isn't bragging or anything, but I'd have 10 new guys messaging me daily, but maybe 1 out of every 20 was worth talking to. I either wasn't attracted to them or there was something else I didn't like. I got my two best friends to join, once I started dating my boyfriend. we were all confident that they'd find nice guys also. But 7 months later, they still haven't found the right guys. It depends on you and fate I guess. My boyfriend created his profile the day after I created mine. It was chance that he even created one because he had so many bad experiences with online dating. What I'm trying to say is, you can't base what your experience will be off of what your friends was. It's different for every person. But, I do encourage you to try it! You never know, maybe Mr. Right is creating a profile right now This. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What do you really have to lose? Nobody forces you to go out with any of the guys on POF or OKC or whichever site you're using. Doesn't hurt knowing who's out there. Also - while I'm a guy, which makes my perspective different from a girl's - I have used OLD fairly successfully over the past 6 or so months since I gave it a shot. What I mean by that is that - while I have NOT found a girlfriend online - I've been out with well over 20 perfectly nice, beautiful, interesting, fun women. Now, granted, none of these outings led to a LTR in the end BUT I had a pretty fun time going out with these gals - there is no reason why you couldn't do the same (and NO, I don't mean I had fun just in the bedroom - the dates themselves were actually cool). Maybe I'm just lucky but so far I have not come across any crazy, clingy, postal, [insert undesirable quality here] girl online. As for the stats for a guy - they are reversed. Ratio of messages sent (i.e. initial contact) to messages received is 10/1 - or, as in real life, the guy is expected to make the first move - big surprise... If you screen correctly, you can fairly easily get a decent response rate from fairly decent partners. Will you find MR. Right right away? Probly not. In fact, you may not find him at all online. However, you can still have a good time with OLD - especially if you have a crazy busy schedule... my 2c 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Doo it, doo it....I'll even help you with your screen name; Phoeyomamma Then we can see if if you win the OLD lottery. For the record, I don't have any negative experiences personally really with it...I approve it, however I'm not a big PoF fan, I liked OKC when I was on it quite a lot. As far as the experiences I've heard of, that's what you should be worried about...mainly from women however, for men you're either successful or you are not.
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