Thoughts on guy problem?

[Kelly15]

Yes, I like to work with special needs kids.

 

And You sound like a very positive person, Thank you.

 

Great song

[Kelly15]

I play that song and the time and think of him! Funny, Signs are everywhere to leave

[rbrock2323]

Yes, I like to work with special needs kids.

 

I can tell you from personal experience, it doesn't get better than that. Those are the lives worth changing, and those are the people who genuinely appreciate the time you're willing to dedicate.

[Kelly15]

So last night , around 3am I got bad news about a family member and I saw my bf was online. So I sent him a message asking if he was busy, he replied an half an hour later that he wasn't at all.

I replied that , it was very getting so I would talk to when he had some free time later.

He said, that's ok , tell me what's on your mind now.

 

So I figured he wanted to talk to me. So I start telling him, subjects changes. He KEEPs asking me questions so out of no where he sends a message saying my f**king finger are tired. I called you, you didn't answer. You can call me if you want to talk.

 

I was like I'm sorry, my phone is in the other room and I didn't hear it, I had idea you called, but seriously you kept asking me questions so I thought you were interested. He said I'm not messaging with you anymore , you can call.

 

So I called him asked what is problem was, he starting yelling. You don't answer your phone enough, you're not here enough.... I need to hear your voice if something is bothering u.

I'm not messaging you anymore.

No more texting me.

 

I told him, I wasn't wanting to get into it at 4 in morning and I would talk to him tomorrow.

 

The thing is I didn't know he called and I told him this and he's still yelling me

Second, we do talk a lot of text but I don't text him everyday.

I haven't sent him a instant message since May so its not like I sit there bothering him all day & he works nights so it the only I really talk to him. Some of his good friends text me more than he does.

 

I see his point about talking more on the phone. We do talk for hours in person.

 

Needless to say it was the last straw, do anyone see his point?

 

 

Also one of his friends texted asking if we were going to his BBQ this Friday, I told him I would be because between him and me, it wasn't working out but I was having a really hard time leaving him.

He called me, said and was like wow, he is blowing it big time. You've been there for him and he takes you for granted. You are everything a guy wants in a woman . Beautiful, kind, easygoing on him and loyal .

He said I hate to see him lost it because he's going to realize how bad he messed up hard later. I said thanks and I knew all that. You was going to get my diamond earring from his place when he wasn't home and then call him later to try to end it.

 

A little later his friend sent me a message, saying here is his pass code to facebook, I know it's wrong but you're having such a hard time leaving and you really treat him good. And I know you will stay his friend and he will get you back when he done with his break with you.

You need to know the truth to everything and go get tested.

 

Omg!! I've never looked in to someone's personal stuff. What should I do??

 

The get tested part scared the lights out of me

[truth_seeker]

Thanks for all the replies, I love this guy so much and have been on and off with him for 7 years, I've been a fool and always been there for him so it might be hard on him when I suddenly cut him off. And I can deal with not being with him but him killing himself or hurting himself I can't handle the guilt.

 

Thing is he didn't do it and the past but he has a gun now. Scares me really bad and he also cries a lot but when he's with his friends he's the life if the party the few times I'm invited.

I'm not what is the right thing to do, I told him we need to talk, about to go in an hour

 

How do I bring this up and what should I say? I don't want to make things worst.

 

7 years and no marriage? Cut the chord. Seriously. He's an anchor bringing you down. Get away and don't look back.

[Philosoraptor]

He has no point. He is abusive and self destructive. You've used enough of your life on him and his constant back and forth. Now it's time to use that time on you and finding your own happiness in this world.

 

And he gave you his password, meaning there are things in there that you need to read. Likely has been cheating on you, hence the need to get tested. His friend seems like a decent guy, as he's giving you more ammo to force yourself out the door.

[Kelly15]

So you don't think it morally wrong to snoop?

[Philosoraptor]

So you don't think it morally wrong to snoop?

I do, but if someone said I should get tested there is a health risk involved and I'm crossing that line myself.

[PlumPrincess]

He's very disrespectful when we go out, flirts with girls, acts like I'm not there...

 

So I'm afaird if I leave him , I wont be able to be there when he needs someone and I'm the main person he talks to. I dont want to see him hurt/kill himself and hes talking about it more and more. He is seeing is Dr again.

 

What should I do?

Let the girls he flirts with take care of him. I can see no logical connection between being depressed and being a disrespectful jerk. If he wants you to stay, he should behave more nicely.

[PlumPrincess]

He called me, said and was like wow, he is blowing it big time. You've been there for him and he takes you for granted. You are everything a guy wants in a woman . Beautiful, kind, easygoing on him and loyal .

He said I hate to see him lost it because he's going to realize how bad he messed up hard later. I said thanks and I knew all that. You was going to get my diamond earring from his place when he wasn't home and then call him later to try to end it.

 

A little later his friend sent me a message, saying here is his pass code to facebook, I know it's wrong but you're having such a hard time leaving and you really treat him good. And I know you will stay his friend and he will get you back when he done with his break with you.

You need to know the truth to everything and go get tested.

 

Omg!! I've never looked in to someone's personal stuff. What should I do??

 

The get tested part scared the lights out of me

Are you sure the friend can be trusted? Maybe he is interested in you and is using your emotional conflict to badmouth your boyfriend? And if he has the password, who knows how he used the access to your boyfriend's account. And how did he get your boyfriend's password?

[heartshaped]

TF? His friend told you, you need to go get tested?!?! I'm sorry but I would have been in his stuff so fast heads would spin. I do believe snooping is wrong, but honestly, sometimes that's the only way you can find out the truth about someone. If he has potentially put your health at risk you need to know. Now.

[Kelly15]

It's his best friend's friend, I do think the guy likes me. They went to Colombia for a guys trip, The guy said he had him send a lot of messages for him as his phone wont work.

I asked if it was drugs or a girl and he said to look for myself.

 

I know after the get tested thing , I must look, I've just been having some much anxiety and don't want to deal with what I see.

[Kelly15]

He also said he had a lot of respect for my boyfriend till that trip... that he has a beautiful girl who loves him and he felt since he got to know me as a friend he felt so bad for me.... I dont want his pity, makes me feel a even bigger fool.

 

he said he cant tell me anymore because they share the same best and do the same football leagues and asked I not say anything. Sounds legit to me

[Kelly15]

well, I'm going to go snoop, feel really lame and sick like I'm not doing the right thing but I must know now.

 

Thanks to all that offered their advice. I dont know how hard this would be if I didnt get to get it off my chest on here.

 

I also just talked to the boyfriend, he was sorry about blowing up on me but really didnt care to see me, sounded like he was in a self pity mode

[Kelly15]

So I snooped, not proud of myself..

 

So when he went to Colombia , he had set up to meet a women. A weathered looking women with two days, stay off her free and had sex with her and messaged her for a few weeks after, saying things like I want you my love, I need you.. It's was the best time of my life.... Appears he just stopped talking months ago

 

We had sex the same night he came back and he told me how much he missed me...

 

I also find at one of our happiest times he was messaging a girl who's a make up artist and has done my make up for a few modeling jobs I did.

 

Messaged a stripper a few times... Telling he had no girlfriend.

 

A bunch of low class looking girls.

 

Is already picking up the girl he flirted with that night in front of me.

 

There were also some kind of questionable messages to a gay guy overseas. But half were deleted you could tell.

 

I also found a condom wrapper

 

 

 

I'm in such shock!

Edited September 11, 2013 by Kelly15
wrong spelling

[Kelly15]

I'm such shock and so mad.

should I delete him and never tell him anything or talk to him again?

should I tell him I snooped and never to EVER contact me again?

[heartshaped]

This man is toxic. He does drugs, has mental health issues, and is manipulative. Now apparently he's cheated on you with multiple people and has put your personal health at risk.

 

Go No Contact immediately. Delete all his numbers etc. Change your number or block his if you have to so he has no way of contacting you. And please, go get tested as soon as possible and never speak to this man again.

[harvardboy]

You might want to check out a course like the free one on Dater Den should help you with your guy problems. I now get unlimited hookups every single night because of the course!!