NoClue2 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Guy told me he loved me after 2 weeks - how should I handle this? I also really like him. Edited September 9, 2013 by NoClue2 please delete - too much personal information
Dallers Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) I love you too. There, that is about as serious as it gets with both me and him, in fact mine is probably more realistic as its spontaneous. Just do not have sex with him, men seriously need to learn how to treat people like humans and stop using Love as a tool. Edited September 9, 2013 by Dallers
CrystalCastles Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Someone on LS once wrote: "You can be infatuated quickly, but you can't LOVE someone until you know who they are, and you don't know who they are until you've traveled through life with them for a while." This guy is using love as an excuse to get into your pants. 1
mammasita Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I'd tread lightly. People who "Love" that quickly are likely to fizzle just as quickly. 1
Author NoClue2 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 We had already had sex before that. He asked me to be his gf and introduced me to his family and friends - which apparently he never does according to them. Things felt off on sunday though, should I give it some distance?
Dallers Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Sex, love, parents?!!... All in two weeks! Holy moly. Kids these days.
Author NoClue2 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Hahaha ya it's quick, believe me I know that. That's why I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt but I feel like there is something there - definitely not love yet on my end though.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 This kinda happened to me at the start of my current relationship (we've only been together three months)... It just felt right, I've always done things 'sex, love, parents'. Slept with a guy just because I wanted to, and then these fck buddy relationships grew into relationships (a 2 year, and a 4 year). Fell in love after the sex, introduced the parents a bit later on. This time around well, we went on ... four dates? And I said I didn't want to take things to a sexual level until I knew where things were going. That was because I could actually see myself liking this guy properly and didn't want to get hurt. Previously I'd just have sex with no strings. He asked me out, I said yes, we slept together. A couple of weeks later we happened to be going to get my car fixed at a garage near my dad's house, who asked if I wanted to go for coffee while I was over there (it's a bit of a distance away... I use that garage as it belongs to my dad's neighbour so I never get ripped off). So we ended up going for coffee at my dad's, me and the brand new bf. It was fine. I often take friends to hang at my dad's, once or twice a friend who has had additional benefits (but not mentioned that bit!) and figured what's the worst that can happen. So we break up or it doesn't work, so what? My dad knows I date guys, it's not really a big issue. A little bit later, he told me he loved me. I returned it, in a 'I feel I love you, as much as I possibly can at this stage' and it has grown since then still. It makes a change from being cold, unavailable, emotionally distant, 'using' guys for sex (but always being completely open and honest that I wouldn't want more, before it happened). And it's still going really well But that's where it ends lol. We haven't remotely touched upon topics like living together or marriage or having kids other than knowing that each other wants those things in our life at some stage! So I don't feel too bad about it being intense, it just feels right. We'll see what happens; it could go horribly wrong, but then so can the relationships that do everything on the 'correct' timeline. Maybe I'll be back in a week or a month or a year lamenting how fast we moved or complaining that he's a bstard. I know relationships that have failed after taking things very slowly, and relationships that have blossomed and flourished for years after two people met and said the ILY after a week. OP, your indicator is your gut feeling. You don't feel the same as this guy. Just be honest with him and take it as it comes. I'm scared and don't want to get hurt either but I've spent a year protecting myself and now I'm ready to take a little risk
pteromom Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Someone on LS once wrote: "You can be infatuated quickly, but you can't LOVE someone until you know who they are, and you don't know who they are until you've traveled through life with them for a while." That person sounds extremely wise.
Phantom888 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Tell him to slow down. There is a good chance his love is real, but he is moving too fast. Meeting parents so soon is too fast. Tell him you want to get to know him better before expressing your own love. Give him a chance. It's not like he is nuts... He is just really excited about you. Just slow things down a bit.
pteromom Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Keep moving forward, but SLOW DOWN. Enjoy getting to know him, but don't hand him your heart on a silver platter. Learn who he is. Learn who he is when you disagree with him. Learn who he is when you have an opposing value to his. Learn who he is when you are sick with the flu. Learn who he is when he is sick with the flu. Learn who he is when he is presented with an opportunity to succeed. Learn who he is when he is presented with an opportunity to be unethical. Learn how he handles joy; sadness; disappointment; anger; frustration. And then, and only then, trust him with your heart. I assume you guys are young, so his saying "I love you" may not come with ulterior motives. He may think that what he's feeling now is love, because it's the most he's felt with anyone. Just proceed with your head and heart in balance, and you'll be OK no matter how the relationship goes. 1
Author NoClue2 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Thanks for the replies everyone. We aren't that young. I'm 24, he's 26. We've both gotten out of serious, long term relationships 6 months ago. He has A LOT of women after him (that he's now cut off for me), so I know if he didn't like me and was just using me there would be no talk of love and commitment. His friends have also told me this, same with his family. I introduced him to my family yesterday but it just felt kind of off. He's called me every time he said would and when he called me today I didn't answer and haven't called him back. I just don't want to seem too eager and yesterday through me off because of a gut vibe I was getting from him. I'm not sure what it is. It just felt off. Any thoughts?
pteromom Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Thanks for the replies everyone. We aren't that young. I'm 24, he's 26. We've both gotten out of serious, long term relationships 6 months ago. He has A LOT of women after him (that he's now cut off for me), so I know if he didn't like me and was just using me there would be no talk of love and commitment. His friends have also told me this, same with his family. I introduced him to my family yesterday but it just felt kind of off. He's called me every time he said would and when he called me today I didn't answer and haven't called him back. I just don't want to seem too eager and yesterday through me off because of a gut vibe I was getting from him. I'm not sure what it is. It just felt off. Any thoughts? That's pretty young still. Your gut vibe could simply be fear. You are scared to trust in love. Especially true if your past relationship ended due to infidelity or something. It's hard to know without being you. Really think about that gut vibe and what you were feeling. Try to figure out what it stemmed from.
giblesp Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Perhaps when you both made love, you made love. Something beautiful which is unfortunately rare nowadays.
madjac74 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 When he said "I love you" did you respond with "I errrrr uhhhhh hmmmmm ...fist bump?"
Author NoClue2 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Haha, I said I really like you and haven't felt this way about anyone since my last relationship and that I can see us being together and being in love. He's just a lot more social than I am. He is a go, go, go person and parties a lot and I don't. I do occasionally but I don't want him to get bored with me. I think that's what's scaring me.
soccerrprp Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Haha, I said I really like you and haven't felt this way about anyone since my last relationship and that I can see us being together and being in love. He's just a lot more social than I am. He is a go, go, go person and parties a lot and I don't. I do occasionally but I don't want him to get bored with me. I think that's what's scaring me. There's always that danger that quick love may equal quick burn-out. I told my late wife of 12+ years that I loved her after 2-weeks of dating. But, I do admit that I would be at least a little rattled.
Recommended Posts