double00 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Hey everyone reading... About a year and a half ago I was a virgin (I'm now newly 25) who didn't really have any idea/confidence/will in initiating with a girl in a sexual way. In college I started to come out of my shell and had a few lady friends and wasn't nervous around girls at all really. But...sexually speaking I was out of my comfort zone/had absolutely no clue. So, back to about a year and a half ago: I lived and studied (I'm still in this city btw) in a very large city overseas and met local girl (just few months my elder). We hit it off and within a few weeks I spend a few nights (total of 3) at her apartment. Short story is that I never initiated anything besides back massages and the like. Ugh, I just kind of stopped cold each time and just started chatting. I could never bring myself to go for it. She gave oh so obvious signs that she wanted me, but I just didn't know what to do. Well, after the third time of me wimping out she had had enough and basically told me we cant be close anymore, so no more staying the night. Furthermore, she told me that she doesn't feel strongly for me anymore. I don't blame her..I gave her conflicting signals..she probably thought I rejected her. And she probably thought I was a virgin (ding ding). Once she said she lost interest I made it known to her that I did really like her, but that didn't do much. I'm sure she thought to herself, "you say you like me but you cant even have sex with me, come on." We hung out together in small groups of friends twice somewhat shortly after that, but contact then cut off. Now, it's been nearly 16 months since I have had ANY contact with her. I'm aware she is still in the city and I'm sure she knows I am too ( becuz we are connected via social networking). In last 16 months I've changed a lot... I worked with a company for a year, had a 7 month relationship and also have been with a few other girls sexually. I have a pretty good network of local and foreign friends that are important to me. I'm more independent (have my own place) and definitely much more confident. **I want to contact her and just get back in touch, but I feel I'm in the inferior position when dealing with her. The last year plus has been good for me, but I'm tripping over how I can get back in touch and kind of even things up with this girl. It's kind of bothering me and bringing up memories of my inexperienced past-- it is like around everyone else I'm my more mature, natural confident self but around her I will feel like I'm still an inexperienced guy. Not sure if I still slightly put her on a pedestal. That could be a part of the problem. I won't lie, it would be nice to reignite some kind of attraction again, but mainly I'm just mad curious about how she is, how she's changed and how she could notice I've changed. It's like I want to atone for that inexperienced guy I was a year and a half ago. Any advice or suggestions? I kind of feel that I revert back to my unsure/inexperienced ways when I think about contacting her...like somehow I will drop dead of embarrassment as soon as I reach out to chat with her. But I do think of why hasn't see contacted me all this time...and that makes me feel like why should I even reach out. Thank you for reading.
Author double00 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Any suggestions for my poor face?
white Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 You never know until you try. In my experience however you can't rewind things. There's nothing wrong with trying to meet up again if you want, you may as well. 1
Author double00 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Rewinding things is a good way to put it. I shall try, nothing to lose from it. I'm not doing this out of neediness, just want to atone. I'm just wondering if a girl who once had a lot of interest in me but was disappointed by my lack of initiation could find me attractive again?? .... especially since nearly a year and a half has passed. akin to a sports coach who had you on the bench in the middle of the season, but now two years later you're a different, more improved player and catch that same coach's eye playing for another team.
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