Curt2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 OK, so my ex and I work for the same company but different buildings. We broke up about 5 weeks ago and she has sent me several texts saying 'how are you" etc...I kept responding with "I'm good, thanks." and finally about 2 weeks ago I stopped responding. No more texts since. I really love her and she loves me too we broke up over nothing, stupid reasons. Overall I think the break up was good for both of us to step and see where we were going but I miss her so badly and I know she missed me too. Well, later this afternoon I will see her and we will probably be in the same room for an hour together. This will happen twice a week from now on....not sure what to do. HELP! Part of me wants to say "I know we both care for one another should we try to see if we can work this out between us without all the pain and distance"? BUT I'm afraid of the possible rejection to be honest and I have a feeling she is too. I initiated the break up because I was sick of her busy schedule and having always to wait for her but she agreed that maybe we would be better as friends. Not sure whether she said that because she was hurt at the time. She has always been honest and truthful and has always been there for me and has never canceled a date EVER. I know she cares and loves me but maybe I was too much for her and she has a ton going on with her job and aging parents. What would you do??? Confused!! Thanks!
forgetmenot75 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 It seems that she was the one who cared less (busy schedule, made you wait for her, agreed to be friends with you), that puts you in the dumpee position. Ugh I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'd try to act as normal as possible. Say hello to her, smile, but keep the distance. Remember she might had move on already. Act as you are ok. Don't bring any hot topic, keep it short and sweet. And try to move on.
AllTooWell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I would continue NC outside of the job. So, during this hour, unless you have to talk to her, don't. Don't be rude, you just having nothing to say (i.e no how are you, no what's up, etc. This woman is a stranger). The only open lines of communication are about work. Talk freely about work and work-related things, however cut every other subject short. So if she asks how you are doing, like you've done before you say "good thanks." and that's the end. It may sound harsh and cruel, but the fact is you aren't in a place to have a conversation with her that isn't riddled with emotions that could push her farther away. You need time and distance right now.
Author Curt2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Thanks. You're right. I was dumped and I know the texts were breadcrumbs probably trying to make herself feels better. She's very shy and I know she doesn't have anyone at the moment but I also know that she didn't make us a priority so I will try to ignore her today but I know she will try to talk to me. If so, I will be as normal as possible.
Author Curt2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 You're right as well. I thought after 5 weeks I'd be ready to talk to her but I'm truly not. Too soon and while I feel much better now and am also proud that I didn't chase her when we broke it off. I also feel like I don't want to give her any more power so I will stay away. She will ask me about work, my life, my hobbies, etc...she always does. I will have to answer with "it's fine" and walk away. It's going to be very hard! It also makes me sad. I often think "Does this whole NC thing work?" what happens if she wants you back but is waiting for you to make the first move? Than again, I know if she wants me she will break thru her shyness and make the first move.
JDPT Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I would keep things as professional as possible without even mentionin the possibility of working anything out. I think you have a fundamental understanding as to why you too broke up and subliminally believe was for the best yet emotions are so erratic ending up fogging how you truly feel.
Author Curt2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 I would keep things as professional as possible without even mentionin the possibility of working anything out. I think you have a fundamental understanding as to why you too broke up and subliminally believe was for the best yet emotions are so erratic ending up fogging how you truly feel. For as much as I hate to agree with you, you're correct. I wish I could be cold like she is at times but I can't so it's best to stay away. It pisses me off that I allowed this to happen to me. I feel like a spoiled kid now wanting, desiring and crying about something he can't have! Yes, this is what I've become people. Weak and very pathetic! I don't blame my ex for sending breadcrumbs, it's pitiful and she probably feels sorry for me too. Pity is something I do not need right now!! There's a first time for everything, right?
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