BB84 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 So it's been about a month since my ex walked out of our shared apartment and went back to live with her parents, at first I was in shock and couldn't accept any of the reasons given, but after some time I have realised that everything was not as perfect as it seemed mainly due to a lack of communication between us both. (I assumed we had an amazing relationship because we never really argued) The first week I did all the usual stuff, txting an emailing trying to make her realise how much I loved her, then I saw this forum and realised it was silly thing to do. From the second week I tried my best to go full NC and she tried multiple times to contact me to see if I was OK, I politely reminded her that it was probably for the best that we did not contact each other as it would only hurt us both in the long run. A week later after much reading and advice from friends I deleted her from Facebook and deleted all her friends so that I wouldn't be tempted to keep looking at her profile, a little later I get an email from her saying how much it upset her that I had completely removed her from my life... at this point I got pretty upset myself and sent her an email saying that I still loved her and didn't want it to be like this but that if she sees no future, then I need to move on. She emailed back saying that she thought we should meet up and discuss whether or not we could make things work again (but admitted she could make no promises) We met up last week and had a good talk and a nice meal and she then said that she felt much better and didn't want to jinx things but thought we might be able to work things out. Since then we started txting daily and she said she was excited for our next 'date' which has been arranged for sometime this week. She says she wants to take things slow and see what happens and says that only talking and seeing each other can we decide if we can make things work in the future. The main reason I think she left was because we both got a bit too comfortable in the relationship and never really said when something was making us unhappy. I have made positive changes for myself and will continue to do so, but I love this girl and want to get back together but I am trying to keep playing it cool. So any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading 2
StyleOnEm Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Yeah, sounds like you're going about this the right way. By deleting her from facebook and going the NC route, you showed her your strength. That you valued yourself and weren't going to beg for her to come back to you. She noticed that and started re-evaluating her feelings towards you. Keep it casual, and let her make the moves on you. If you push too much, it will only push her away. So, stay relaxed, go with the flow, and watch what she does. Keep us updated. 2
lylat333 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 BB84, I want to thank you so much for helping to inspire me to block my ex on FB. I have been reluctant to do so since I have waited quite a while... 45 days have passed since I last heard from her and she didn't acknowledge a couple of attempts I made to reach out soon after we stopped talking. I wrote her a letter, surprise surprise she ignored it... commented on a completed project she posted on FB... no acknowledgement there either. Yet I have stayed around because I didn't want to whatever slim possibility there may have been for reconciliation. Your post reminded me that even after someone can act so cold, they are human and their ego is bruised when you take control of yourself and start truly moving on. Wish you the best, you do sound like you're handling it very well. Keep the confidence up and always value yourself. 1
Author BB84 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 lylat333 - It look a lot of courage for me to do it, she had said previously that she didn't want me to delete her but trust me its for the best...I was alone one night and feeling very down and I looked at her FB and saw that she had been tagged having dinner with friends and I completely broke down. After doing it I felt a lot better, I know it will still hurt all over again if she decides that we can't give it another try..but I would rather live with the knowledge that I at least tried than to live with the regret of never giving it at least another chance. StyleOnEm - Thanks, it's really hard to take things slowly because I miss her a lot and I know from speaking to her that she misses me too, I know she has a few personal issues that she needs to work (Not happy with her work) and I guess only time will tell. In the mean time I am just going to try and stay busy and looking to the future.
Author BB84 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Hi guys, just a quick update....I went out for another date with my ex..well she's no longer my ex as we are going to give it another go We had a few really long discussions about what we both want / need from the relationship and made plans on how to avoid the problems we did have before. She admitted that a lot of it was not due to me as much as being very stressed at work and it all got a bit too much. She is now looking for another job and after talking is a lot more positive about the future. I know it's early days but I have a good feeling about things again, I can see some light at the end of the tunnel and am feeling better in myself, I got a new job which pays more and am looking after myself better which can only be a good thing! I would like to say thanks to all the guys and girls out there, reading and knowing that I wasn't go through this stuff all alone was a life saver. Good luck and be happy because you all deserve it
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