kayjay85 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Ok so here i am again. Heartbroken and still no better off. the story continues like this. After 4 years together and a really bad break up me and my ex decidedto go no contact because we agreed we still had feelings but it wouldnt work. But we BOTH broke no contact for the whole 11 weeks weve been split. At first it was me who broke the no contact and got hurt again. Then i decided i had had enough i was stronger i was moving on could only see all the bad things about him and his family. Then out of the blue he contacted me. Everything was going fine just a bit of conversation then sent me a picture of his new born nephew. I started to miss him all over again that caring person whoi was so deeply in love with i forgot about everything that happened and only remembered the good times. So we start hooking up and i felt like a little school girl again all excited. We would message each other every night to say good night. I thought this is it were getting back together. i didnt let him know i was thinking this i just played cool. Well this is were it gets bad. We arranged to meet up on the friday night have a drink and some food but on the thursday he let me down saying he was driving to his sisters in a different city and he only found out last minute. I replied with ok that fine we will do something next week. On the friday i messaged him and said have a safe drive. he replied saying he never went hes going on saturday now. i thought that was strange why not tell me. I just brushed it off. A few hours later he said he was out having a drink but didnt say who with. He made arrangments to meet on wednesday. I went to bed and couldnt shake the feeling something was wrong. The next day i followed my gut and checked his twitter he was out on a date with a girl who he had taken out before in the weeks we had split. He told me this girl was just a friend the first time they went out. I immedietly called him and yelled and he put the phone down. He knew he had been caught out. I bombarded him with calls and texts asking him what was going on. Eventually he messaged back saying he had been in a relationship with this girl for a week and was going to end it with me. I asked him when he had all week to end it. And why was he messaging me when he was out with her making arrangments to meet up again. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. he just said he was sorry he knew he was wrong. I just dont understand why he didnt break it off straight away. When we started seeing each other again we agreed it was only if we were both single. Ok i wanted more but i never once let him know this i put up a front. I done somthing stupid i messaged her on twitter and told her he just admitted seeing both of us. I feel sooooooooooo stupid for doing it so childish but i was so angry. She is 6 years younger than us and quite childish too but didnt resort to any of this. After all this drama there was lots of messaging back and forth bad things got said mainly from me. one thing that really hurt him was when i said " I hope she doesnt get sick or depressed or you and your family will hang her out to dry" Wow that realy hurt him. he said that was the final straw. I was sorry for the things i said but they were said. He told me to leave him alone he wants to be with this new girl now. I know its not her fault but in a way i hope that there relationship doesnt work because he lied from the beginning. Anyway thats a chapter in my life closed now There is deffinitly no communication any more. He said he wont be there for me doesnt care how sick i am. I actually dont blame him though. I blame myself for everything. Like not being able to even commit to no contact, snooping at his page everything. Well its not a case of no contact no more its a case of its over for good and he will never even want to talk to me again because i was so mean.
melell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I am so sorry you are going through this. Don't be too hard on yourself. Even though I seriously loved my ex (8years together) I couldn't talk to him because I was so afraid of hearing about who he is with etc. I'd rather have no contact than have my heart broken again. And the same with all social media/phone no etc. I blocked it all. I would rather not know because that feeling sucks. The reason people say NC can sometimes bring the ex back is because when people stay in contact it turns out just the way you have described. Of course you can't keep your emotions in check!! It hurts. I would have had an out burst too, most people would. NC and moving on is the best thing you can do FOR YOURSELF
Author kayjay85 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 i really wished we had no contact from the beginning and avoided all this drama. I already hurt him so bad i didnt think i would be still doing it. I feel so bad because all he has ever done was love and care for me even after we split he was always concerned about my health. I know he has to move on buts its only been 11 weeks. Now for me i couldnt possibly think about any one else but i suppose i hurt him so he may move on quicker. I am just so hurt about the way i found out. I would of been hurt if he told me himself but to find out this way just broke my heart all over again. I know its also not his fault either we were both still confused. But my question to him was if he didnt get found out would he have told me. Maybe maybe not. His girlfriend of one week has already been putting up post on her twitter about trusting people so there realationship hasnt got off to the best of starts. I always thought they would be another chance but now i know he is dating someone its confirmed it for me the relationship i over.
melell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Thats the thing, you both have no right to comment on each others lives anymore. He can marry this girl if he wants, it is really nothing at all to do with you, and there is nothing you can do about it. That is what a break up is. People become single and can do whatever they want. This is why NC is important. You have no right to say anything, so why would you even want to know?
Author kayjay85 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Theyve been together a week and already he lied to her now hes made her quit her job in a bar where she is a host. He is just a jealous person and i cant see this lasting which i know is bad but gives me great joy.
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