Life after the break up...I can't get the hang of this.

[lizzardj]

After an 8 year relationship I don't know how this dating thing works anymore. Meeting a man in person has been the hardest thing ever. I feel totally rejected by anyone I show a slight interest in and attract all the wrong people.

 

I see how I act with the opposite sex and it's apparently not working for me, even though I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. It's just not what other girls my age do. I'm funny and sarcastic (which THAT PART I think is a defense mechanism because I was cheated on and lied to). I never truly let people in my life. Since I am incredibly reserved and my love life SUCKS, I turned to online dating. The men I go on dates with are VERY into me. But they all say the same thing and in a way it bothers me; "You're different....In a good way." They basically tell me they love me right then and there and I'm not really into moving that fast and I never feel a connection with anyone, so I end it. I'm just not sure if I like being "different in a good way" all the time. I know in the long run, it will be what keeps a man interested in me, but as far as attracting a man in person. I have no luck because of this "different" thing. It takes a man to get to know my personality on a dating website to want to date me. I can't seem to just attract a man off the streets.

 

I tend to speak with a twang in my voice like my mother does. Which I'm known for. And am the kind of girl that will nudge a man with my elbow after I tell him a joke. Elderly men and middle aged men LOVE this about me at my work. But people my own age don't respond to me very well. (I'm 24).

 

I find myself to be a beautiful and well rounded woman, with many unique interests and passions for life...but these nervous personality flaws of mine are making my life around men difficult.

 

I see my best friend, who is drop dead gorgeous, get guys without even saying a word. And then she plays the "I'm helpless" card and men just take care of her and she doesn't have to put in any effort. I would never want to be helpless, I don't think that's fair. But is that what initially attracts a man to a woman? Am I supposed to be a quiet damsel in distress?

 

Anyone have any advice for me?

[Omei]

You just be you and nothing more or less.

And don't let any of your past relationships put a damper on your new ones give them all the benefit until they prove you shouldn't.

 

You may not get a guy at the bat of an eye like your friend and that's just dandy! Good! Be yourself and you know whatever guy comes your way will be because of who you are. Don't be shy ask guys you like out if they say no whatever cool time not wasted Nextttt!