darkmoon Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) The word respect makes me think of a standard to be met or else so please tell me why I am wrong. I wanted to know whether people who want respect get it - and how they get it too. What's your point of view? Edited September 9, 2013 by darkmoon
todreaminblue Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 The word respect makes me think of a standard to be met - or else so please tell me why I am wrong. I wanted to know whether people who want respect get it - and how they get it too. Isn't being mutually understood and understanding good enough? What's your point of view? to be respected is to be accepted and loved in spite of your flaws...because if you truly love someone and accept them for who they are even when they make mistakes...you will not disrespect them intentionally....deb
CherryT Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Standards and respect don't exactly go hand in hand. Someone who's controlling and believes that you should not be able to speak with anyone of the opposite sex who say that is "respect" but they are wrong. I believe that you don't get the respect that you deserve, but what you demand. That being said, respect is built up on love and acceptance like ToDreamInBlue mentioned. Respect is about caring for someone else and their wellbeing; their feelings. In order for you to get respect, you have to give it as well. Respect is communication and consideration. I think what makes people compatible and being able to respect each other and their values are just those... your core values. My ex and I had different core values so my level of respect and his level of "respect" didn't line up. My SO and I today are very similar in terms of who we are as people, the kind of heart we have and so our respect for one another is amazing and healthy.
pteromom Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I get respect by giving it. Anything else is hypocritical. If someone chooses not to respect me, I view it as something THEY are lacking, not me. Viewing life and "respect" this way is very freeing. 2
todreaminblue Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Standards and respect don't exactly go hand in hand. Someone who's controlling and believes that you should not be able to speak with anyone of the opposite sex who say that is "respect" but they are wrong. I believe that you don't get the respect that you deserve, but what you demand. That being said, respect is built up on love and acceptance like ToDreamInBlue mentioned. Respect is about caring for someone else and their wellbeing; their feelings. In order for you to get respect, you have to give it as well. Respect is communication and consideration. I think what makes people compatible and being able to respect each other and their values are just those... your core values. My ex and I had different core values so my level of respect and his level of "respect" didn't line up. My SO and I today are very similar in terms of who we are as people, the kind of heart we have and so our respect for one another is amazing and healthy. when someone demands something its a form of control...if you are worthy of respect you will get the respect you deserve while you are in the room and when you walk out of that room...if you demand respect that respect lasts until you walk out of the room and your demand goes with you as well as the respect...demand nothing but be worthy of what you would like..then that stays with you and about you, whether you are there or not..deb
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 People will treat you with the respect you demand, not what you deserve. To truly be respected you have to have a line that, when crossed, means you're willing to walk away. If somebody knows you'll stay with them no matter how they speak to you or what they do to you, you'll never be respected. 2
Lokie Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I start with respecting everyone I meet. They then have the ability to prove my initial belief right or wrong. I think respect is unearned by observation of negative or unwanted actions and/or behaviors. Determining what is negative or unwanted can be personal, cultural, situational or universal. 1
2sunny Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I get respect by giving it. Anything else is hypocritical. If someone chooses not to respect me, I view it as something THEY are lacking, not me. Viewing life and "respect" this way is very freeing. I agree - its effortless. Respect is earned, at least for/from me.
MrCastle Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I don't believe respect is earned. Respect is given right off the bat until you do something to lose it. I respect people as fellow human beings first and foremost. I don't think I'm better than anybody. But you can do things that make me lose respect for you. Doesn't mean I then start treating you like sh*t. Just means I don't consider you or your opinions, or your lifestyle relevant to my life. I have apathy. How do I gain respect? I command it. I refuse to be walked all over. You're gonna hear from me. 2
Maleficent Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 The word respect makes me think of a standard to be met or else so please tell me why I am wrong. I wanted to know whether people who want respect get it - and how they get it too. What's your point of view? Respect is not the same for everyone. However, if you are with someone who is 'my way or the highway', I'd say the person isn't much respectful of you... Goes both ways you know..
CherryT Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 (edited) when someone demands something its a form of control...if you are worthy of respect you will get the respect you deserve while you are in the room and when you walk out of that room...if you demand respect that respect lasts until you walk out of the room and your demand goes with you as well as the respect...demand nothing but be worthy of what you would like..then that stays with you and about you, whether you are there or not..deb What I meant was not literal 'demanding'. I don't believe that people will automatically give you the respect you THINK you deserve. You must "demand" it with your actions. For example: I have had girlfriends get caught up in very bad relationships. They were in relationships where the men in their life would be controlling, cheating, and sometimes even worse. The men in their lives didn't care what their GF's thought they deserved. When I would speak to them, they would always say "I deserve more". However, they continued staying with them. Accepting non-genuine apologies over and over, after their BF's were caught lying or cheating etc. The respect that they deserve wasn't given. The respect they demanded was given. What their actions were asking for was the level of respect they received. They basically said: "sure, lie and cheat but as long as you say a half as* sorry, I will forgive you". A corporate example: I work in a predominately male environment. Many of the men I work with are old boys club type of characters. I will never walk into a room and get the respect that I feel I deserve, because it is in their nature to cut the weak and will act accordingly to scare one off or intimidate. The men I work with are not babysitters. They don't care about your personal feelings when it comes to business and they make that clear. In order for me to gain the respect I deserve in their field, I need to act (demand through my personal choices and actions) accordingly. I cannot expect them to give me the respect off the bat, just like anyone else, but if I demand it (through my own actions) and show them that I am not the kind to be walked all over, they will in turn give you that respect. Respect is mostly your responsibility. How you conduct yourself, how you treat others, and what you're willing to walk away from. I see many women who don't have a standard for the respect that should be shown. To me, I'll always treat people with respect because my mum taught me manners. But I have a standard of minimal respect you should show me. If it's not met, I won't be around. Edited September 10, 2013 by CherryT
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