Zahara Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 (edited) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/397501-why-i-keep-doing-me Read your thread, FMN. I can feel your pain in it. It's evident everytime you break contact, you hurt yourself because he never gives you and can never give you what you want. If anything, read all your threads. In a few months, it will be a year of you suffering with this man. You would've wasted a year of your life on a man that isn't even in your life. Edited September 11, 2013 by Zahara
JDPT Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Exactly- you guys are making yourselves nuts over someone who simply does not WANT to get it and chooses to dwell over something nonexistent. She will eventually get it, clearly not now but perhaps and hopefully later on down the line for her own sake. It's evident that we can't force anyone to do anything these chose not to. However, I think everyone has advised her countless times yet the same mistakes are chosen. This topic has become rather redundant.
JDPT Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Exactly. So what is the point of repeating it over and over? Let her figure it out. I concur indeed.
Zahara Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 (edited) No one is attacking you. If everyone's approach is different then don't perceive us to not understand the concept of heartbreak based on how advice has been presented to her. With the amount of posts she has received, she's been afforded every type of approach. Yours is nothing new. Of course she will do what she wants to do, but that doesn't mean you sit back and watch her fall at her own hand. What would be the point in creating threads, seeking advice or even the existence of LS? It would be useless to have a forum with a poster creating threads with others having nothing to say. Maybe next time if FMN wants to contact him we should all push her to go through with whatever she wants to do because that is what she'll do. Or maybe coddle her and let her just fall into her hole because she just has to learn the hard way without anyone even attempting to try and stop her from doing so? Or the next time she posts, offer no opinion or help because, what would be the point? There are so many threads on LS. If one becomes futile to you, let those that wish to stay and keep on advising, stay and help. Move on to the next if you choose to do so. Edited September 11, 2013 by Zahara
Cali408 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I feel bad for her, but you can't help those that are not willing to help themselves. We've all told her not to engage, not to look on POF, but she insisted on doing it. I'm all for support, believe me, it's not easy, but she's like the boy who cried wolf. Sooner her later, it will fall on deaf ears. 1
Zahara Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 (edited) True. I was once FMN. I had a man abuse me badly and I kept going back to him. I finally made that change and that was after everyone gave up on me, even family, except for my two closest friends, one who even went to my therapy sessions with me. It took me a year to finally say enough. We all don't work on a timeline. Granted, it is very frustrating and sometimes I want to stop responding to her. She mentioned she has no friends to talk to. I had two. I understand that she feels alone and this is where she comes to deal with her confusion. As much as I want to give up on her, I know how she feels. Edited September 11, 2013 by Zahara
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 I'm listening to you all. Gosh, isn't it enough I haven't contacted him again and haven't logged in to pof since yesterday night?
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Exactly- you guys are making yourselves nuts over someone who simply does not WANT to get it and chooses to dwell over something nonexistent. She will eventually get it, clearly not now but perhaps and hopefully later on down the line for her own sake. It's evident that we can't force anyone to do anything these chose not to. However, I think everyone has advised her countless times yet the same mistakes are chosen. This topic has become rather redundant. Why you keep saying this? I slowly started to understand. There are some details of the story I just cannot share here. I'm doing my best to heal and get out of this nightmare. I'm not deaf to your words. 1
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 I'm just updating this thread to let you know how's everything been. After my unfortunate move last Monday and his set of replies, I started to re-read all you all said to me, and something started to made sense. I consider, though, that breaking no contact was beneficial for me this time. I'm seeing traits of him I decided to ignore in the past, and now they are blatantly obvious. I think this traits made me realize I idolized him so much, but at the end there was no point, because he's such a loser. I thank you all the people who tirelessly insisted, and opened my eyes, even in the most hurtful ways because I think this is, lastly, what awoke me from the nightmare. 3
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Awakening from denial is good indeed. Glad to see you here, FMN, enlightened. "Lightened" being the key part of the word.
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