robaday Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Walked past my ex the other night. She was walking toward me and was about 2 people apart across a busy road. I stopped for a second, looked twice and it was definitely her - no idea if she saw me or not. I kept walking. Thought to myself how strange it is we are now complete strangers. We broke up quite a few times in the past until the final one a year back, and we always were friendly to each other if we saw each other. This time though, I have nothing to say to her anymore. Perhaps a sign of being completely over it? Its weird because one year ago I was desperate to work this out and she rejected me twice and not in a nice way - cutting all ties. Then for some reason 5 months later started harrassing me and sending abusive messages. A couple months passed then she invited me out twice. Both times I declined. Then the third time I flat out rejected her and not in a nice way, just told her I dont respect her anymore after all the things she said about me. Rejecting her was the hardest thing I have ever done. But she had disrespected me so much, I felt if I let her back in, I would be showing her I was ok with being treated like that. Im the kind of person who always tries to make peace, who tries to make things better. And this one time I simply cant, she went too far. She said I was being spiteful and should forgive and get over it....but I think well, maybe she should get over it and stop contacting me? Why if someone calls you every name under the sun, tells you to never contact them again, threatens to assault you and refuses to work a relationship out with you.......can they honestly expect you to want to be friends with them? and say you hurt them when you dont want to be friends? 2
JDPT Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Time heals and it appears that you are quiet there. 2
melell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 All I can say is people are fragile and temperamental even at the best of times. Only tolerate the ones that will tolerate you. 1
hurts2death Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 all i kcan say is people dont have ethics and values anymore... they dispose plastic easily and they can also dispose us.. sooooo bad wrong etc.. you did the right thing to not talk to her.. and guess what .. her karma will come.... universe is the best justice court that exists in my opinion ... keep up ,leader males had many wifes . chin up. love your self john
hurts2death Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 after long term bond people aint disposable... disagree?its not some dates its almost marriage......i am not stupid...Just because someone breaks up with us, does not make them a bad person. "Karma" is not going to get them, don't be stupid. People are allowed to break up with us. OP - sounds like you're doing great, keep at it.
Author robaday Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Just because someone breaks up with us, does not make them a bad person. I agree with this completely. I agreed with the breakup (it was pretty much mutual). I also understood the clean break and never once tried to reach out to her. I feel strongly though that once somethings over and youve made your decision not to work something out with someone you no longer have much avenue to tear someone apart emotionally and destroy any good memories you had, because your so self absorbed you cant realise that you contributed to the mess. If she had had self awareness I would have respected her and been a great deal more open to being friends. But she wasnt, which sucks because she was a great girl in many many ways. Theres a level of respect I think both people are owed after a breakup in terms of leaving each other alone - if they were horrible to you then your free of them now, if you loved them, let them go....but dont breakup with someone and harrass them and criticise them for moving on after you told them to never contact you again. 1
DresdenKing Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Why if someone calls you every name under the sun, tells you to never contact them again, threatens to assault you and refuses to work a relationship out with you.......can they honestly expect you to want to be friends with them? and say you hurt them when you dont want to be friends? Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. 3
Viro12 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Just because someone breaks up with us, does not make them a bad person. "Karma" is not going to get them, don't be stupid. People are allowed to break up with us. OP - sounds like you're doing great, keep at it. I don't think it's karma, it depends on how the relationship was broken. If she had valid reasons to break up with you, is a complete person, happy on her own, don't have unrealistic views about a relationship. I don't think karma will get to her. The only ones that karma will get to is they have personal flaws such as always seeing greener grass on the other side, expecting a fairy tale like romance, is incomplete, not happy alone. Then their flaws will repeat itself until they realize the reason why their relationships fail, is themselves. 1
Misfortune Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 It's just one of the possible outcomes after the end of a relationship: recon, "friendship" or back to strangers. Sucks to spend years with someone just to become strangers again. 1
Author robaday Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 I dont wish ill toward her. I want her to be happy. I didnt hold the breakup against her. And I didnt actually hold a complete break against her. It was months down the line, nearly half a year that destroyed everything. She did a complete character assasination, said id abused her and slept with fat girls and sluts, that i was a fxxxn wuss, that shed met men who were better men than me, that if she saw me shed punch me..... then she wanted to be friends and was hurt i wouldnt be. ill never understand what got into her. and cant ever look at her in the same way.
melell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I dont wish ill toward her. I want her to be happy. I didnt hold the breakup against her. And I didnt actually hold a complete break against her. It was months down the line, nearly half a year that destroyed everything. She did a complete character assasination, said id abused her and slept with fat girls and sluts, that i was a fxxxn wuss, that shed met men who were better men than me, that if she saw me shed punch me..... then she wanted to be friends and was hurt i wouldnt be. ill never understand what got into her. and cant ever look at her in the same way. It sounds to me like she still had a lot of feelings for you and getting angry was the easiest way for her to deal with it. She sounds rather unsettled in life in general. 1
barky2 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 When I was going thru my breakup,I told my boy isn't it weird how you go from strangers, to best friends and lovers, back to strangers? He sent me this. Idk why but I had to share. We've all been there...and I really related to the thread name. Barky 1
Sugarkane Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Just because someone breaks up with us, does not make them a bad person. "Karma" is not going to get them, don't be stupid. People are allowed to break up with us. OP - sounds like you're doing great, keep at it. Sure but what if they were a real Ahole about it? Lying, cheating etc. Then I think they do deserve karma. Eg my ex who dumped me by text, begged me back months later and then stood me up. Then proceeded to send me verbally abusive texts and ridiculously called me the psycho! 1
melell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 In my experience some people have it great when they don't deserve it, and some people have a horrid time when they don't deserve it. Look around, life isn't fair. 2
Sugarkane Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Just because someone breaks up with us, does not make them a bad person. "Karma" is not going to get them, don't be stupid. People are allowed to break up with us. OP - sounds like you're doing great, keep at it. No but why does the dumper have to be vindictive? Calling the OP every name under the sun, telling the OP never to contact ever and threatening assault? WTF? It doesn't sound like it was warranted or deserved. Quite frankly when someone dumps you like this, you eventually feel glad that you dodged a bullet.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 No but why does the dumper have to be vindictive? Calling the OP every name under the sun, telling the OP never to contact ever and threatening assault? WTF? It doesn't sound like it was warranted or deserved. Quite frankly when someone dumps you like this, you eventually feel glad that you dodged a bullet. Yes but that was this specific dumper. Not all dumpers are bad. Or vindictive. Or selfish. Most are just normal people who can't help that they don't feel the same way they used to about the person they are with, and are chosing to cause both themselves and the dumpee some short term pain so that they can both ultimately be happy.
Sugarkane Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Yes but that was this specific dumper. Not all dumpers are bad. Or vindictive. Or selfish. Most are just normal people who can't help that they don't feel the same way they used to about the person they are with, and are chosing to cause both themselves and the dumpee some short term pain so that they can both ultimately be happy. Doesn't sound like this person was one of them. Especially threatening to assault the OP.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Doesn't sound like this person was one of them. Especially threatening to assault the OP. Yes but you're missing the point. OP's dumper was nasty but most dumpers aren't.
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