Christiedrew Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Well Im 27 years old, married and I have two children. I've never fallen in love until recently. I had a terrible/abusive childhood so when I turned 18, I left my parents house as soon as I could. I moved in with a guy/room mate, and eventually started dating him. I ended up pregnant at 20 years old and we decided it was best to get married so we did. Well its been 7 years, we have been good to each other, never cheated on each other and we treat each other with respect. Well about 2 months ago I met this other guy, I told him to leave me alone because I was married etc. Well of course he didnt, he got my number and talked to me occasionally and of course after a while I kinda fell for him. He's served a few years in Afghanistan and has been blown up and lost his best friend over there so needless to say he has issues. He told me that the first time he met me, he told his friend I was the one for him. He wanted to settle down with me, well his friend told him I was taken of course. Anyways I fell face first, in love with him. I've been married and I have kids but I've never fallen in love before. Well before I started to officially see him, I informed my husband I wanted a divorce etc.. Well come to find out he couldnt officially see me yet either because he was staying with his dad at the time and he would not allow hi to see a married woman. So because of this we could only see each other at night. He and I worked all day so it was really the only time. After about to months, he told me he wanted to settle down, he loved me, and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He even told me , he wanted a child of his own and he would treat my kids like his own kids. Well after sneaking around and seeing each other for two months, his dad eventually found out. At first his dad was ok with it and told us we didn't have to hide it anymore. Needless to say we were both very excited. The day after he told us this, he changed his mind. His dad got very upset after thinking about it and convinced him not to see me anymore. He told him that he ruined a good marriage and my kids would hate him for it and that he was messed up anyways. He told him to leave me alone. Well needless to say, he did just that! He wouldn't answer my calls or anything. One day after threaten him that I would come over to his house to talk with him if i had to, he answered my phone call. He told me it was over, please move on and stop talking to him. I really didn't understand how you can feel so strong and sure about someone and someone else can just say a few words and completely change their mind. He told me it was to much drama and hardship?!?! So I'm am completely broken, I don't know what to do. I have a mess to clean up and he just left me in the dark to do it all alone. How can you love someone one day and just leave them the next? I know he has been thru a lot, he has sever PTSD, and his mom left his dad for another man when he was three. Like I said, I've never fallen in love with anyone before so I really wish this could eventually work out but I don't think it will because he won't even talk to me lol. Should I wait and give him some time or should I just let this go? Do you think he cares about me and will eventually miss me lol? Edited September 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
AllTooWell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I was going to come down on you for cheating but I won't even both. This is bizarre. How old are you guys? Why is he letting his father influence his life in such a fashion, especially if you've filed for divorce? This is a huge red flag. I am sorry that you're going through this, especially because it does sound like your first love. However, from what you've said this wasn't a normal or stable relationship and this man is not the kind of person in an emotionally stable place FOR a relationship. I don't know if he'll get his sh** together and come around. But, in the mean time, I hope you have considered seeking counselling for your childhood trauma. Good luck.
Salvatore85 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I'm not going to lie, I feel far worse for your husband than I do for you.
Misfortune Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Off to the OW/OM section Edited September 9, 2013 by Misfortune
Author Christiedrew Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 I'm not divorced yet but I have filed before I even started to see him, I had already filed for the divorce.
Author Christiedrew Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 My husband understands the circumstance, I didn't cheat. I filed for the divorce before seeing the other guy.
Author Christiedrew Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 His father influences him ALOT. I am 28 he is 25. He is very emotionally unstable. Maybe I should just give it time. I wish he misses me as much as I miss him lol.
Sparkle304 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 He is very emotionally unstable. He told me it was over, please move on and stop talking to him. READ the above statements! Now read them again. Those are your own words. You know what to do. He neither has the interest nor the emotional wherewithal to be in a relationship with you. Why would you ever want your children to be around an emotionally unstable man?
Recommended Posts