missmash Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I have been dating this guy since March. He lives out of town so we only get to see each other every other weekend. Either he comes to me for the weekend or I go to him for the weekend. Lately, He has been asking me if I love him. I told him I am not comfortable saying those words yet, but he still persists. He said that he doesnt care if I mean it, he just wants to hear what it sounds like coming out of my mouth. So the other night he was visiting and he asked me again to say it so I did. He said he liked it and it sounded good. Then later he was joking around with me and said "youre silly but I love you". We have talked about being in a monogamous relationship but given the distance, it has not happened yet. I would like to be in a relationship with him but he is a little more resistant than I am. Its almost like he blames me for being anti-commitment when its really him that is the one resisting. So I guess my question is does it sound like he loves me or was he just joking? He has also asked me to say I love you during sex, and when I didnt he said it. But made it clear after that he was "role playing"
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I think the "I Love You" stuff is feeding his ego. Be firm and stick to your guns; if you don't feel comfortable saying it, then don't. Let him know that you'd like monogamy and a relationship before you love can develop for you. It sounds like he really does care about you and maybe is falling in love but is nervous that you don't feel the same way. I'd say you need to have a very honest discussion about where this is heading. If you want a relationship and he doesn't, it might be better to go your separate ways for now. If he doesn't want that, he needs to back off with the I Love You "role-playing" 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I think the "I love you" thing is weird, and points to him having issues. No normal, balanced and decent guy with good intentions and who does not want to just feed his ego, would make you say that you love him, for any reason other than when you DO genuinely mean it. It is a bit off colour in my opinion, what he asked you to do:sick: I would leave a guy for it, unless he was otherwise perfect and really really promising in all other ways. Even though it would be a HUGE red flag.
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