cerebra876324 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 This is a weird problem I am encountering in my relationship. I am dating a great girl, going on 14 months. She and I live about 45 minutes away, and I see a long term future with her. She's smart, fun, beautiful, and makes me very happy! Here's my problem: I recently moved to a much smaller apartment, and she came to visit for the weekend-which was great. She has a medium sized dog, and since she would be spending two nights with me had to bring along. In my old apartment which was much bigger it wasn't much of a problem-except for the shedding. The dog is very nice and friendly but sheds white fur everywhere! My old apartment had hardwood floors so it wasn't so noticeable, but in this tiny place it was everywhere. I bought a new couch for my new place and since I knew the dog would probably visit, I put a new blue king size sheet over the couch. Within a minute of arriving, the dog promptly hopped up on my new couch and white fur was ALL OVER the sheet. I am a neat freak, and a bit OCD about my apartment cleanliness, so this really made me a bit crazy. My girlfriend sees nothing wrong with it, and her house (larger, two stories, etc) is covered in dog fur. She does change the bed sheets when I sleep there, since the dog sleeps with her in the bed when I'm not there. When I sit on her couch my clothing is covered in white fur. I swept her kitchen/dining room floor with a broom before, and the fur fills a dustpan. When we went to bed the dog slept on the floor, and that was fine. But when we leave to go somewhere, the dog sleeps on my queen bed so I made it and then laid an old sheet on it to keep dog fur off. After she left today, I put the couch sheet in the washer, and it was SO covered I had to wash and dry it 3 times to remove all the fur-in just two days! I ran the vacuum, and the bag was filled with dog fur. I guess at my old apartment I didn't notice it as much with the hardwood and more space. My girlfriend LOVES the dog, and I have made little comments about having fur on my clothes, etc and it makes her mad. When she came over, I hadn't seen her all week and we sat on the couch and she ignored me and just had the dog on her lap. Seriously, this is more fur than this dog has ever shed at my place before. She's a mix breed, so I'm not sure there, but it's everywhere! I googled shedding dogs, and they recommend brushing them. I mentioned that and was told "she doesn't like to be brushed". I don't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings here--but I need a solution. I don't have time to do an hour long deep clean every time the dog comes over. I don't want my new apartment covered with dog fur, and my new couch covered in fur. I know she was evicted from one apartment years before for having this dog, and she was didn't receive a security deposit back from another apartment for having too much pet hair in the apartment. I love this girl, and I want to be with her for a long time. This may seem like a really minor thing, but it's driving me nuts!!! She's very sensitive about it too. Telling her not to bring the dog means she'll never come over, as she doesn't want to board the dog because she'll miss her and the dog doesn't like it there. PLEASE HELP ME!!! MY APARTMENT IS COVERED IN DOG FUR!!!
ja123 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 You're already meeting her halfway by putting up with the dog. She's going to have to meet you halfway by brushing and cleaning up after it. It's that simple. If she can't see or understand that, then she's lacking maturity. Lay out your boundaries and expectations, and ask her to respect them.
HokeyReligions Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Get over it. If you force her to choose you may not like the answer. Maybe you t wo just aren't compatible. Learn to love the dog. Its probably going to be one of many in the future. I brought my dogs to stay when I visited my bf. He liked dogs but it was a few years before he really loved them. We've been rescuing dogs ever since including two on our wedding night. There have been many t imes over the years where I got really tired of the 'maintenance' but no more so than I got tired of 'child' maintenance. What seems like a minor issue now could become a painful dealbreaker. You two need to communicate and seriously discuss this issue.
nescafe1982 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Have you offered brushing the dog yourself? They have these anti-shedding brushes that come on hand-mitts. When you brush the dog, the fur clings to the mitt. I'd recommend buying one and keeping at your place. Show it to her next time the dog comes over. Make it sound as if you're being helpful, and brush the dog yourself (as you guys are hanging out). She should take the hint, and you might even score points for being so helpful. Good luck. My dog sheds like crazy so I know how you feel.
MrCastle Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 So only visit her house if you plan to spend days together. If she's only staying the night, she can go to yours without the dog. More than one day, you go to hers.
emva07 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 wow, if she got evicted from an apt and didn't get a deposit back from another and does nothing about it, she must REALLY love that dog. Maybe the dog gets aggressive when combed, and wants to bite. Maybe offer to take her to a groomer so the can cut the dogs hair, wash, dry, brush and all that to make it less shedding? They usually put a muzzle on dogs so they don't bite and just have a way with them. It's not fair for her not to try to understand how you feel. 1
ThisGal Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 LOL, I had a good laugh reading this but I understand how serious the situation is. He's her furbaby, but her lack of understanding why you're frustrated is inexcusable. I love my 2 cats. My b/f does not like dealing with their hair, I don't either, so I always made sure to use a lint roller and vacuumed well before he came over. My responsibility. She needs to clean up after her dog. Your girlfriend needs to comprehend where you're coming from and not shrug off your complaints. What if you were allergic, she would have to respect that. She is acting very childish about this. No one wants to spend so much time picking up fur. She can sometimes leave him home or with someone else when she visits you. She should respect you and your home. Put your foot down and let her know that she needs to oblige by your rules. As for the hair, yeah she should groom him! It will help with all the shedding. I no longer have to deal with the furs since I started using this cat brush below, significant improvements. I'll post the link, this is the dog version. Amazon.com: KONG ZoomGroom, Dog Grooming Brush, Raspberry: Pet Supplies Good luck! 2
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