cici713 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I get why people fade out. It usually is the easy way out. Personally, I would never do it. But that's just me. But when does the fade out become disrespectful? It happened to me recently. I had sex with the guy. He just faded out and I felt the way he handled it just showed a lack of respect for me. He had no problem getting me into bed. If he was the mature adult he claimed to be then he could have said something. Instead, I wonder what happened and why the 180. Because it is still a mystery.
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I get why people fade out. It usually is the easy way out. Personally, I would never do it. But that's just me. But when does the fade out become disrespectful? It happened to me recently. I had sex with the guy. He just faded out and I felt the way he handled it just showed a lack of respect for me. He had no problem getting me into bed. If he was the mature adult he claimed to be then he could have said something. Instead, I wonder what happened and why the 180. Because it is still a mystery. By fade out I assume you mean lose feelings for someone and drift apart. To be honest it is not disrespectful at all in my opinion, you cannot force feelings and you cannot make yourself love something and if you are told this instead of being lied to or cheated on then you are very lucky. I did the same to a girl I was living with for 2 years sat her down and told her straight the spark is gone for me I cannot pretend this is working and we broke up and are now good friends. What that guy did was use you not 'fade out' as you say he was in it for one reason and wanted nothing more before sex, do not beat yourself up just be more careful next time and do not sleep with someone before you get to know & most importantly trust them.
Author cici713 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 No I mean he just disappeared. Stop all contact. Just after asking me to go on vacation with him. No explanation. No hey I'm not feeling this. Nothing.
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 No I mean he just disappeared. Stop all contact. Just after asking me to go on vacation with him. No explanation. No hey I'm not feeling this. Nothing. How long were you together for then? Sorry I assumed it was a one off by your initial post. If so and you were a couple he clearly is a pathetic, weak and sad excuse for a man who you are very very lucky to have escaped. Think of this as a positive thing that he has done for you and one day the same thing will happen to him as Karma always has a way of coming back to get the people who deserve it
ThisGal Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 No I mean he just disappeared. Stop all contact. Just after asking me to go on vacation with him. No explanation. No hey I'm not feeling this. Nothing. Is it really a mystery? You do not need Unsolved Mysteries show to figure this one out. He got what he wanted (sex) and scrammed. He figured you were not worth an explanation and took the easy route (ignoring you). The vacation he invited you to was part of the act, he wanted to make it seem like he was interested so he can slither his way out without you be suspicious. That's the risk you take when you decide to bed someone you haven't taken the time to get to know well enough. You did not know his intentions until it's too late. Take it as a lesson learn and move forward.
ThisGal Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Hmm, yeah I took a leap. I don't even know how long you 2 have been together but your lack of surprise tells me not long.
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Is it really a mystery? You do not need Unsolved Mysteries show to figure this one out. He got what he wanted (sex) and scrammed. He figured you were not worth an explanation and took the easy route (ignoring you). The vacation he invited you to was part of the act, he wanted to make it seem like he was interested so he can slither his way out without you be suspicious. That's the risk you take when you decide to bed someone you haven't taken the time to get to know well enough. You did not know his intentions until it's too late. Take it as a lesson learn and move forward. Not holding back tonight are we. You need candles, a massage and the sound of dolphins in the background. Would love to help you out but, I do not own any dolphins. 1
ThisGal Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Not holding back tonight are we. You need candles, a massage and the sound of dolphins in the background. Would love to help you out but, I do not own any dolphins. LOL it's one of those days. Sorry people! I would love to take you up on that offer, I def need a massage. And somehow you managed to know what my fav animal is, dolphins; besides cats. 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Yes it is disrespectful and nasty. Anyone who says otherwise has no manners. A similar thing happened to me; a guy acted like he was totally crazy about me. He spent every day with me, told me how amazing I was and how attracted to me he was and how much he liked being around me and cared for me.... after a week, and after he got sex? He bailed and gave no reason for it. Guys can be very good actors OR, in some instances, they are into you to begin with and then, for whatever reason, they are just not feeling it anymore. Those are the only two explanations. It is not always about sex, some guys do genuinely like you yet change their mind. A considerate and decent person would say " look, I don't want to really continue anything with you, but I you are a great girl and have a lot going for you, I just wasn't feeling it"
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 LOL it's one of those days. Sorry people! I would love to take you up on that offer, I def need a massage. And somehow you managed to know what my fav animal is, dolphins; besides cats. Intuition 1
Author cici713 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Is it really a mystery? You do not need Unsolved Mysteries show to figure this one out. He got what he wanted (sex) and scrammed. He figured you were not worth an explanation and took the easy route (ignoring you). The vacation he invited you to was part of the act, he wanted to make it seem like he was interested so he can slither his way out without you be suspicious. That's the risk you take when you decide to bed someone you haven't taken the time to get to know well enough. You did not know his intentions until it's too late. Take it as a lesson learn and move forward. No it's no mystery. Know exactly what he did. But it's still disrespectful. I understand it more when people do it in their early 20s. I just think at a certain age people would be mature enough to learn to respect someone they sleep with no matter the circumstances. If he wanted just sex, why not just just say it? Something I've always lived by....truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
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