I had her under the covers & failed to pull the trigger.

[carhill]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Man, I was a dick in bed that night and, whoa, you were hot. What was I thinking?

 

Then move on. What happens happens. If you get any sort of response, have fun with it. Humor can dissolve many misunderstandings where the individuals otherwise like or are attracted to each other. My quick scan shows youth here. If so, enjoy it. Good luck.

[Drewx2]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Man, I was a dick in bed that night and, whoa, you were hot. What was I thinking?

 

Then move on. What happens happens. If you get any sort of response, have fun with it. Humor can dissolve many misunderstandings where the individuals otherwise like or are attracted to each other. My quick scan shows youth here. If so, enjoy it. Good luck.

 

should i send my message or the one you wrote out?

 

I'm 23... kindof young, but I still should of known better

 

I don't know if being called a creep would make me feel any worse than how i feel right now.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[carhill]

I'd call her but you do what you want. The important thing, not *because of her* but *for you* is to *act*. This is how you move forward, learning from each experience. Will you make mistakes? Yep, you apparently feel you made one. So, learn from it and move on. If this girl is a dry hole, pull up the rig and move to the next hole. Keep drilling until you get a gusher. It's work, man. Seriously.

[Drewx2]

I'd call her but you do what you want. The important thing, not *because of her* but *for you* is to *act*. This is how you move forward, learning from each experience. Will you make mistakes? Yep, you apparently feel you made one. So, learn from it and move on. If this girl is a dry hole, pull up the rig and move to the next hole. Keep drilling until you get a gusher. It's work, man. Seriously.

 

I have no real enemies, I might as well take a chance & make some haha. If she doesn't like it..screw her.

 

How about this: it's kind of a hybrid.

 

"Marie, I was a dick in bed that one night, but you’re incredibly hott, and I really wanted to do something. I don’t know what I was thinking but I want to see you again while you’re still in Michigan, and I’m done writing letters, I think they’re lame."

 

(She wanted to exchange letters..I wrote her once & she wote back)

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[Dallers]

“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.”

 

Lol

 

I regret situations that could have led to a future with someone who i was with, loved and who actually liked me not past random girls who crawled into my bed and i lost because i didn't pull the trigger when it stared me in the face.

 

Enjoy relationship suicide. I am done here.

[Atem]

OP - seriously now - unless you're the ugliest, dumbest most unattractive guy who EVER walked this planet, you WILL find other cute gals who'll drop their clothes and let you **** them in the future (if you man up and actually bang them next time, that is).

 

Dallers knows this, so he tells you to leave this chick be and move on to the next one which WILL come soon enough.

 

That said - if you really want to give this one last shot, then send her a short, not mushy, message that says 2 things:

 

1. I wanna see you again

 

2. I'll give you a call [insert time here]

 

Then give her a call, unless she tells you to **** off before your set timing (make it the next day after work, ideally) and ask her out again.

 

If she:

- tells you off before you call

- does not answer or call back

- rejects you on the phone while sounding uninterested

 

LET HER GO

 

If she agrees to see you again, be relaxed, fun, humorous and NOT a clingy, insecure dude on the date, get her home and **** her brains out.

 

In either case though - be ready to let her go and move on.

 

There are plenty of other fish out there + you're only 23. Life's long and has a lot more in store for you than just her

[Trimmer]

"I want to see you again, but I don't want to be friends."

 

hows that? can anyone make it sound better?

Tell her you want to see her again, then when you do, you act like you don't want to be just friends.

 

 

How do I let her know that I'm a "man that takes what I want" and not a "desperate loser"?

Again, not by talking, by acting:

By ****ing her when she's lying next to you naked...

[Drewx2]

Lol

 

I regret situations that could have led to a future with someone who i was with, loved and who actually liked me not past random girls who crawled into my bed and i lost because i didn't pull the trigger when it stared me in the face.

 

Enjoy relationship suicide. I am done here.

 

she wasn't a random girl. I knew her for two months and really liked her. and why should "relationship suicide" carry any weight if it's over anyway?

 

I decided i'm going to tell her that "I want to see her again" and that I'll "call her" (at whatever time)

 

Thanks for you're help man. I know you're right, but I can't help myself on this one. Suicide can't kill something that's already dead.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[pteromom]

I just don't see what you have to lose by giving it a shot. Sure, she may think you are creep and reject you, but it doesn't change anything. You are already single and not seeing her, so if it doesn't work out, you are still in the same place. You've lost nothing.

 

And if it works - you may have some awesome sex, or even an awesome short or long term relationship (depending on what you want).

 

It's ALWAYS worth taking the risk. You lose nothing by trying.

 

And your note is fine, but I would drop the part about being done writing letters because they are lame. She may take that as her idea being lame and get her feelings hurt. If she wants to see you again, you can talk about the letters in person where she can respond and tell what your tone is, etc.

[Lansing]

Personally I think your texts were weird.. If I got something like that I would think WTF.

 

Ask her OUT again. If she doesn't want to go out with you again, then move on. I wouldn't do the "you were so hot" text thing.

 

Just get her out again and keep asking like a potential mate.

[Dallers]

she wasn't a random girl. I knew her for two months and really liked her. and why should "relationship suicide" carry any weight if it's over anyway?

 

I decided i'm going to tell her that "I want to see her again" and that I'll "call her" (at whatever time)

 

Thanks for you're help man. I know you're right, but I can't help myself on this one. Suicide can't kill something that's already dead.

 

Simply because it gives off signals that you are Beta:

 

"A man that is unsure what to do next, yet willing to do it, whatever it may be. Usually a man that is waiting for direction from a woman because he is under the delusion that he will get a lifetime of pussy for being there for her, whenever, where ever...essentially missing the point of being a man."

 

If you are willing to waste this much time on something that is never going to happen you will quickly miss out on the people in your life who are interested in you. Live in the present not the past.

 

Sure give it a go if you do not care about your own self cred and when she does not reply or replies to say no and makes you feel rejected it is going to be a big wake up call. Personally if you did not have the guts to bed a girl who is in your bed I would not be risking something like this because you are batting way above your weight. Start again with someone new afresh why jump straight in the deep end with something that is only going to end in failure.

[Atem]

Simply because it gives off signals that you are Beta:

 

"A man that is unsure what to do next, yet willing to do it, whatever it may be. Usually a man that is waiting for direction from a woman because he is under the delusion that he will get a lifetime of pussy for being there for her, whenever, where ever...essentially missing the point of being a man."

 

If you are willing to waste this much time on something that is never going to happen you will quickly miss out on the people in your life who are interested in you. Live in the present not the past.

 

Sure give it a go if you do not care about your own self cred and when she does not reply or replies to say no and makes you feel rejected it is going to be a big wake up call. Personally if you did not have the guts to bed a girl who is in your bed I would not be risking something like this because you are batting way above your weight. Start again with someone new afresh why jump straight in the deep end with something that is only going to end in failure.

 

Agreed - assuming he's still in the mindset of "I'll be devastated if this girl let's me down" which I guess he probably is (just re-read his responses)...

 

OP - put yourself in the mindset of "I'ma give this one last shot but if it doesn't work, no sweat of my back. Next" and THEN go for it.

 

If you'll end up getting hurt by a rejection, just let it go. You screwed up (no pun intended). Learn and next time DO NOT repeat.

[Drewx2]

I just don't see what you have to lose by giving it a shot. Sure, she may think you are creep and reject you, but it doesn't change anything. You are already single and not seeing her, so if it doesn't work out, you are still in the same place. You've lost nothing.

 

And if it works - you may have some awesome sex, or even an awesome short or long term relationship (depending on what you want).

 

It's ALWAYS worth taking the risk. You lose nothing by trying.

 

And your note is fine, but I would drop the part about being done writing letters because they are lame. She may take that as her idea being lame and get her feelings hurt. If she wants to see you again, you can talk about the letters in person where she can respond and tell what your tone is, etc.

 

"I want to see you again. I'll call you tonight." & then call her and see what happens. I think I'm going to invite her to an amusement park during Halloween & I'm going to make it crystal clear that it's a date.

[Drewx2]

Agreed - assuming he's still in the mindset of "I'll be devastated if this girl let's me down" which I guess he probably is (just re-read his responses)...

 

OP - put yourself in the mindset of "I'ma give this one last shot but if it doesn't work, no sweat of my back. Next" and THEN go for it.

 

If you'll end up getting hurt by a rejection, just let it go. You screwed up (no pun intended). Learn and next time DO NOT repeat.

 

I don't think I could be anymore hurt than I already am. I have nowhere to go but up. I would even accept a crushing rejection as "up"...at least I'd have a reason to not be friends with her. Knowing that she did like me, I just don't want to leave anything out on the field.

 

"I want to see you again. I'll call you tonight" Is solid and will spark her interests if she has any kind of tolerance for me.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[Drewx2]

just got on Facebook...the very first post I see is a post from her about how she loves to get mail. I haven't wrote her in months...coincidence? I was about to give in to the all mighty Dallers and accept defeat, but this just made it so much more difficult.

 

I have seriously been going back and forth on this for 3 strait days. I know it's pathetic, but I can't help it. I hate my life right now.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[heartshaped]

Just go ahead and put yourself out of your misery and ask the woman out. You won't know and be able to move on until you do.

[Dallers]

I will take the compliment, i am almighty. That FB message could so easily be aimed at another bloke. I fear for you fella. Good luck.

[pteromom]

I will take the compliment, i am almighty. That FB message could so easily be aimed at another bloke. I fear for you fella. Good luck.

 

Why do you fear for him? I really don't get it. The worst thing that will happen is he is rejected, in which case, he's in the exact same place as he is now but without the confusion and uncertainty. At least he will know.

 

I don't see how there's any "fear" here.

[Drewx2]

I will take the compliment, i am almighty. That FB message could so easily be aimed at another bloke. I fear for you fella. Good luck.

 

I hate your opinions so much, but you speak the truth

[pteromom]

Simply because it gives off signals that you are Beta:

 

"A man that is unsure what to do next, yet willing to do it, whatever it may be. Usually a man that is waiting for direction from a woman because he is under the delusion that he will get a lifetime of pussy for being there for her, whenever, where ever...essentially missing the point of being a man."

 

If you are going to bring the whole alpha/beta bs into it, I would say it is much more "alpha" to step up and ask for what you want rather than slinking away defeated. To me, that is MUCH more "beta" than taking the risk.

[Drewx2]

Why do you fear for him? I really don't get it. The worst thing that will happen is he is rejected, in which case, he's in the exact same place as he is now but without the confusion and uncertainty. At least he will know.

 

I don't see how there's any "fear" here.

 

I mean I don't really fear him...it's just a way of saying he's probably right & I respect him. Like the Almighty Ozz... or whatever haha

 

I'm sure i'll go back and fourth several more times before making a decision.

[Dallers]

If you are going to bring the whole alpha/beta bs into it, I would say it is much more "alpha" to step up and ask for what you want rather than slinking away defeated. To me, that is MUCH more "beta" than taking the risk.

 

If, he had not rejected a girl who was under his bed covers first and then not spoken to her for ages and then expect pop out of the blue get in her knickers as if nothing had happened and make up for it?!

 

Feel free to dispute what i say but please do not make out what you are telling him to do is alpha. I quoted the above the definition because this is it. You cannot ignore the first part of the story.

 

OP just send the god damn message i would honestly love you to prove me wrong. I am just a keyboard with arms and a brain at the end of the day.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Dallers

[Drewx2]

If you had not rejected a girl who was under your bed covers first and then not spoken to her for ages and then expect pop out of the blue get in her knickers as if nothing had happened and make up for it?!

 

Feel free to dispute what i say but pleaae do not make out what you are telling him to do is alpha. I quoted the above the definition because this is it. You cannot ignore the first part of the story.

 

OP just send the god damn message i would honestly love you to prove me wrong. I am just a keyboard with arms and a brain at the end of the day.

 

Alright sounds good, I'm done for now, this thread is beginning to circle.

 

I'll update you guys if I try anything. I appreciate all the opinions.

Edited September 10, 2013 by Drewx2

[pteromom]

If, he had not rejected a girl who was under his bed covers first and then not spoken to her for ages and then expect pop out of the blue get in her knickers as if nothing had happened and make up for it?!

 

Feel free to dispute what i say but please do not make out what you are telling him to do is alpha. I quoted the above the definition because this is it. You cannot ignore the first part of the story.

 

 

I don't buy into the whole alpha/beta thing anyway, so I won't argue with your definition.

 

But I believe very strongly that you never get anything in life unless you are willing to go for it. He just sat back and did nothing in bed with her, and he got nothing. If he sits back and does nothing again, he will again get nothing.

 

If he does SOMETHING, there's a chance he'll get something. That's the ONLY chance.

 

OP just send the god damn message i would honestly love you to prove me wrong. I am just a keyboard with arms and a brain at the end of the day.

 

This!

 

Drew - just contact her. Don't stress over exactly what you are saying or anything. Just send something! Do it in a moment of strength even if you are saying "Holy hell, what did I just do" right after you hit SEND. She'll either reply or she won't, but you can feel good knowing that you were brave and took action.

[Dallers]

I hear ya pteromom but chances like the one this young man was lucky enough to get the chance at and sadly not take rarely, RARELY happen.. They most certainly do not come about twice