Sarabi Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 When a man with a child says "I'm babysitting"...how does that sound to you? To me it never made any sense to say you babysit your own child...UNLESS...maybe you are having a kiddie fest and looking after your nieces/nephews/neighbours children at the same time... But if your wife/girlfriend/partner goes to work or out then is that appropriate to say babysitting? I have TWO male friends who told me this when their respective female halves were out working or otherwise and I told them it makes them sound so detached from their children. Or are they expecting a reward or medal for looking after the children they chose to have? I said if I was looking after them then I could say its babysitting because they're not my kids but... What do you think? Am I wrong? why do they say it like that??? 2
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I think it is stupid and sexist. I have corrected people many times when they referred to my husband as babysitting. Just another reminder that we have not come as far as we think. There are still men who act like their dick will fall off if they do housework or childcare.
HokeyReligions Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with it. What are they supposed to say? Give some long drawn out diatribe about the reason they are the lone parent at the time? "Babysitting" says it all. And these are guys - generally guys verbalize a LOT less that women. They'll choose a short word over a long sentence. 2
SpiralOut Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I think it's weird. The dads I know always say something like "I have to look after my son today."
xxoo Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with it. What are they supposed to say? Give some long drawn out diatribe about the reason they are the lone parent at the time? "Babysitting" says it all. And these are guys - generally guys verbalize a LOT less that women. They'll choose a short word over a long sentence. What does a mother say when she is the lone parent at the time? I've never heard a mother say she is babysitting her own kids. I don't understand it at all. It reflects a mindset that childcare is primarily the mother's responsibility, or possibly that men are second-class parents (which is entirely untrue!). My H says, "I've got the kids". 2
HokeyReligions Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 What does a mother say when she is the lone parent at the time? I've never heard a mother say she is babysitting her own kids. I don't understand it at all. It reflects a mindset that childcare is primarily the mother's responsibility, or possibly that men are second-class parents (which is entirely untrue!). My H says, "I've got the kids". I've said it when I had the kids. I think its beyind immature to attempt to belittle someone because (the collective) 'you' don't like their choice of words. I hold to my origional opinion - I don't see anything wrong with it. 3
Omei Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with it. What are they supposed to say? Give some long drawn out diatribe about the reason they are the lone parent at the time? "Babysitting" says it all. And these are guys - generally guys verbalize a LOT less that women. They'll choose a short word over a long sentence. Hmmm I dont know how about... "im with my son/daughter" Tbh I have never heard a guy that's with his kid call it babysitting they say their name or son/daughter.
Silly_Girl Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I've heard it. It stinks. I hate it. I usually hear 'I've got my kids', or 'I'm with my kids that weekend'. 'Babysitting' makes me angry and no, I've never heard a woman call it babysitting, and I've two friends whose kids live with their dad's as the main residence and it still would never be called babysitting.
Els Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Huh. I've heard 'taking care of the kids', but not 'babysitting'. I guess this is one of those things where I'd look at the actions more than the words. If the guy is contributing as much as he should to childcare, and loves the kid, I'd just look at it as a weird or peer-influenced choice of words and give it a pass. 1
GoodOnPaper Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 When a man with a child says "I'm babysitting"...how does that sound to you? When my kids were younger, I used that term once in awhile. It was always in connection with a sudden disruption in our schedule when I would normally be at work and the kids would normally be at school or day care. It had nothing to do with the overall child-rearing attitudes, plans, and arrangements that my wife and I worked out together.
GorillaTheater Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Early on, my wife overheard me telling a friend that I couldn't do whatever it was he brought up because I needed to babysit the kids. It wasn't a mistake I made twice. She was upset for all of the aforementioned reasons but seriously, I didn't mean anything by it. 1
JamesM Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 My kids are now older so I really don't babysit them. But yes, I used that term often, and see no problem with it. And for the record, I "babysat" them as often or more than my wife. I still spend most of my summer home and with them. Semantics, people. Technically, the term can be used as "taking care of children while the parents are away" or "watching children as a job." Trust me as any good parent will say: parenting IS a job. Even if you love spending time with your children, it is still something that requires skill, attention, and wisdom...just as any job would. And if parents are honest, we don't always want to spend time with our children being a parent especially if they are naughty or we have spent the whole day at the office. I see the point. It sounds like you are forced to spend time with them when you should love being with them. But the fact is...it is not meant (at least by me) to make it sound like a chore. It simply is the term used. How should I say it? I am spending the afternoon with my "kids" (which sounds like they are livestock:laugh:)? No, I used the term "babysit" and still would if they were younger. Now I simply do say I am at home with the kids, boys, girls, or family. Why? I am still parenting, but they are more independent and do not require as much care as before. Maybe it is because we did our job earlier. It was never meant as a demeaning term nor should it be considered such. 2
Author Sarabi Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Thanks for the replies Not being a parent myself, I am unsure if this is a normal way to say you're at home/looking after your children... I see that its probably not that big of a deal To me personally it doesn't sound right...but I see what you guys are saying; it isn't meant to sound demeaning or that the mother should be the one to primarily stay home and look after the child...its just a choice of words.
pink_sugar Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Your own child is not babysitting. However, my aunt was like a babysitter to her son, because she never actually parented him. She basically just watched him.
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