Sarantt Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Hi I haven't posted here in a while. It's now nearly 6 months since the break up and on paper my life has improved in every way. I've now got a lovely group of friends, active social life, am the fittest I've ever been, doing well in my career and am just about to buy my first home. I've been sticking to no contact almost obsessively for 8 weeks now, determined to move on - I won't even glance at his friends' Facebook pages, let alone his own. Maybe my expectations of no contact were too high, but I'm still in tremendous emotional pain. I'm a lot better at hiding it and getting on with my life as such, but I miss him every day and he's still on my mind 80% of the time. I still look out for his car when I'm driving home from work, even though I've never seen him and there's no reason he would be there. Everything I've read says people start to feel better within weeks, so I don't understand why it doesn't seem to be working. Any tips? I'm so worried I'll be stuck feeling like this forever and never be truly happy again. Thanks for any replies and advice
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Hi I haven't posted here in a while. It's now nearly 6 months since the break up and on paper my life has improved in every way. I've now got a lovely group of friends, active social life, am the fittest I've ever been, doing well in my career and am just about to buy my first home. I've been sticking to no contact almost obsessively for 8 weeks now, determined to move on - I won't even glance at his friends' Facebook pages, let alone his own. Maybe my expectations of no contact were too high, but I'm still in tremendous emotional pain. I'm a lot better at hiding it and getting on with my life as such, but I miss him every day and he's still on my mind 80% of the time. I still look out for his car when I'm driving home from work, even though I've never seen him and there's no reason he would be there. Everything I've read says people start to feel better within weeks, so I don't understand why it doesn't seem to be working. Any tips? I'm so worried I'll be stuck feeling like this forever and never be truly happy again. Thanks for any replies and advice Feeling better within weeks?? That's pretty quick.... NC isn't some huge healer like it washes over you and takes the pain away. It can still be a long process and it really depends on how you want to move on. From what it sounds like, you've made lots of progress. WAY more if you dwelled on it and texted him, seen what he was doing on facebook, etc. It still takes time. You'll get to that point 3
Ireallydontknow Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Hi I haven't posted here in a while. It's now nearly 6 months since the break up and on paper my life has improved in every way. I've now got a lovely group of friends, active social life, am the fittest I've ever been, doing well in my career and am just about to buy my first home. I've been sticking to no contact almost obsessively for 8 weeks now, determined to move on - I won't even glance at his friends' Facebook pages, let alone his own. Maybe my expectations of no contact were too high, but I'm still in tremendous emotional pain. I'm a lot better at hiding it and getting on with my life as such, but I miss him every day and he's still on my mind 80% of the time. I still look out for his car when I'm driving home from work, even though I've never seen him and there's no reason he would be there. Everything I've read says people start to feel better within weeks, so I don't understand why it doesn't seem to be working. Any tips? I'm so worried I'll be stuck feeling like this forever and never be truly happy again. Thanks for any replies and advice All you can do is just keep feeling the pain. It takes time but slowly by slowly the hold will be over you. 80% will turn into 79% until one day you could even be their friend, if it wasn't a bad break up. There is no fast way. Just keep improving yourself so there is nothing to regret. 1
reddragon588 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Unfortunately, there's not a "time period" where it suddenly gets better. You're doing the right things, and it will come with time. Just keep doing what you're doing!
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I'm willing to bet you are doing MUCH better than you think you are. It's hard to measure as it is small increments. And, you are still very close to it. Plus 2 months NC isn't that long. It will take more time... Just keep doing what you are doing and it will work out!! 2 weeks to heal is absoulte rubish. Whoever or wherver you heard/read that is a bunch of BS. Unless we're talking about a Jr. High RS 2
Jenny1234 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 You will one day get there...one day...just keep pushing forward like you have been doing. I know the pain...I'm at 4 months and feel just like you and probably will be at 8 months too. Stay strong and be good to yourself!
seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I feel almost as bad as the day bf broke up. It's been a month and the sadness is heavier today than yesterday. I wake up every day with an empty feeling and though I get through the day, there are times (such as the morning) where the sadness is unbearable. I'm trying hard to stay postive, be active, take care of myself but I don't feel all that better. I have good moments not good days. I feel for all of you. I don't wish this pain on anyone.
Notry412 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 That's why this site is here, it is really a great coping mechanism. My last bad breakup of 5 years took me a couple months to even see straight it felt like. Now it's been 5 years since that breakup and I don't feel to bad. Her name still stings when I hear it, but everything else is OK. This last one was worse in some ways because it was short and much more powerful, however as I learned before it does go away eventually. NC is the best way to keep it out of your mind, talking to them is great if it goes like you hope. Otherwise it's devastating if it doesn't go like you planned. Nothing worse then talking to them and hearing how great they are with their new love. So NC keeps you away from hearing what you don't want to hear.
Oneticket Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 It takes a lot of time and work to get through the pain of losing someone. For me, it has been 8 months since we broke up and I still think of my ex everyday. And I was the dunper. To be honest I do not think it is possible to truly forget someone you loved, you only get used to it. And when yoy get used to it the pain will become bearable. Just hang inthere and don't give up!
KCCK Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Just hang in there... sooner or later the pain will become numb.. you got to keep moving forward and think about the future.. there is nothing that can be done to change the past.. it has already happen... I got dumped and it has been 6 weeks and I still have these emotional trauma and waking up in the middle of the night feeling terrible.. but i believe time can heal if we allowed it to heal.. it all depends on ourself.. everyone is at a different pace, so dont worry so much.. you will be fine.. =)
stormer1092 Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Its been a little over a month for me and I still wake up in the mornings with a empty feeling and can't keep my mind off her. The days are ok I guess but still think of her. It has gotten better but part of me still loves her and cares for her.
JPMC Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Congratulations! You are doing great! What you need to do is get him out of your mind. There is no chance of getting back together, so, tell yourself that. Stop looking for his car. When you find yourself day dreaming, stop. Also, maybe it's time to do some dating. Not a relationship, but dating. Hang in there.
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