Whendovescry Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now. When we first started dating he would sleep over at my place every night and only go to his place to change for work and such. So, we decided to look for a place to rent with each other after only dating for about a month. We found a place that seemed flawless and at a great price for our area. Over the next couple of months I started loosing hours at work and eventually lost my job and was on the hunt for a new one for two months. Through out these two months I drained my savings to make sure that I paid every bill and was never delinquent. I never had him pay more than half or loan me any money during this time period. Needless to say, by the time I found another job, I was broker that broke. Those two months really put a strain on our relationship. We rarely got out of the house or did things other than necessities. We were having great sex and the romantic side of the relationship was perfect. But, I was bored of always being stuck at home and he was always tired from work and school which made him want to be at home. When I got my first paycheck we went out on the town and did everything I wish we had done more often. Dinner, movies, drinks with friends, an all around awesome evening. And we continued to do these things every weekend. At the point,he received an email from a job that he had want to interview with for a long time. It is his dream job! He interviewed with them twice and was told that it could be a little over a month until they could get back to him with their decision. Once he started interviewing with him our utility bills were getting out of control. The house is older and very inefficient with water and electricity. So we decided to sublease the place out, but didn't want to get stuck in another one year lease until we knew about his job situation. The only possible situation for us was to both move back in with our parents temporarily and play the waiting game. Moving out of that house was super hard on me. I've never felt this much heartbreak over moving out in my life. Our parents houses are about 30-45 mins away from each other which also sucks. I'm really scared that over this small period of being away we will loose touch or end up breaking up. I've been reading a lot of advice columns that say that if you move in with someone and then move out, it rarely ever goes back to the way it was and usually results in a break up. I am really supportive of his dream job and that is why I agreed to wait for him to get his answer and then make a decision. At advice or comments? I'm feeling lost and over emotional about this whole situation.
heartshaped Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I don't think this necessarily means a break up is on the horizon, but I personally don't believe in back tracking in relationships. Moving in together now living apart equals back tracking. BUt I'm sure things will be fine once the two of you can work out his job situation. 1
ThisGal Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) You two moved in together after only a month of knowing each other and only have been together now for 6 months. Why the rush?? You both had to move back into your parents home due to financial issues. You were both 'playing house.' It's not smart to move in with a man you barely know. You hardly was able to make it as you were living paycheck-to-paycheck. You mentioned he paid but I hope he at least pitched in financially, equally! I don't see much of a relationship really. 2 people moved in with each other after 4 weeks, had sex like jackrabbits and now both are back under their mama and papa's roof. If you're afraid that the relationship is going to fail because you two are no longer living together then there was nothing really there from the start. You both should be willing to make this word during the difficult times. Ya'll are only 45 minutes apart, that's hardly real distance. I make that drive to my fav hot dog stand. If the relationship is already collapsing then there wasn't much foundation to begin with. Moving in with someone is a serious thing, you shouldn't make such rash decisions next time. Edited September 9, 2013 by ThisGal 1
veggirl Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Wholeheartedly agree with Thisgal. If this short of distance proves to be the end of your R then there wasn't much there to begin with. Your reasons for moving in together were unsound, as was spending every night together from the start. I DO agree that typically moving in and then out is the death of a relationship BUT in your case I don't. I think it is a chance to actually START a healthy relationship with a strong foundation. You should do just that. Instead of acting like an old married couple (after only 6 mos), DATE each other and have fun and see one another 3 or so times a week.... 2
Author Whendovescry Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 I agree that it was a little rushed but, to me, it was love at first sight as hard as it is to believe that it exists. I do agree that it turned into a bit of "playing house" and I regret that, but, I just feel so unsatisfied because I'm so used to seeing him daily, sleeping with him etc. I guess I just need to get used to the way things were and should have stayed like when we first started dating. It's just hard to change your ways after months of living together. I hate relying on texting and phone calls to stay in contact.. Although, that's what I'm just going to have to get used to when we aren't able to see each other. Plus, it won't be more than a month from now hopefully until he figures out his next move. Argh..
ThisGal Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 But you're only 45 minutes away, not 45 hours. You act like seeing each other is impossible. Just take things one day at a time. You two can resume dating and really getting to know one another better. Moving so quickly overshadowed everything, take this opportunity to start courting again.
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