karpeezy Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) My ex broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago, citing that his feelings were not progressing like he thought they should, we were on different pages, he couldn’t tell me he loved me (he’s never loved anyone btw). He’s not ready to give up the freedom and it’s not fair to me. We agreed to not speak the rest of the weekend, and didn’t communicate for 5 days until a short text conversation if I was coming to baseball (I didn’t). 4 more days of no communication, and I initiated a short text convo about getting together at some point before baseball, which did not go well (he was very cold). I sent an e-mail 3 days later, pretty much saying the reason I wanted to get together before baseball was to let him know there is no hard feelings, I have taken time to reflect and I understand why he did what he did, and I am going to move forward and find someone who will love me. That I hope we can interact as teammates and friends at baseball. He wrote back about 45 minutes later, and said he wasn’t avoiding me and had no issue with meeting. That he cared, and still does care very deeply about me, and the b/u had been an adjustment for him as well. That it is the best for both of us, and he hopes I find what I’m looking for. A bit more small talk about baseball , and he said he didn’t think we’d have any problem interacting as friends and teammates and he was open to get together before baseball if I still wanted to. Prior to meeting, he sent a message about “it’s supposed to be chilly tonight, make sure you bring warm clothes” (Random). We met at a coffee shop and chatted for 45 minutes. After the initial tiny bit of awkwardness (very small, it actually felt like our first date lol) we sat and talked about fluff stuff... the long weekend, work, baseball, etc. He was very detailed in telling me about his weekend and work, etc. On the way to our cars I stopped him and said thanks for coming, I really think we can be friends, it would be a shame to throw away our compatibility and commonalities and if he ever sees a pic or something hethinks I’d like, to feel free to text me, and I would do the same. He said “so we’ll keep our communication open” and I said yes. Baseball was great, his family was all there, I know everyone was watching our interactions. He was more attentive than normal, sitting next to me a couple times, touching my hand when I got hit, and on the way out to the field saying things like “a few more innings, how you doing?” etc. Just reiterating that he cares, I guess. I had to remind myself…don’t read into this! After the game, I said see you next week, and left. He followed up with a text when I was home “Great game btw! I’m glad you played”. I responded “It felt good to get back out there. You had a great game to, nice homers". That’s it so far, we haven’t talked since Thursday night. I’m giving him his space, letting him do his own thing. I never begged or pleaded to get him back, didn’t barrage him with text messages or phone calls, avoided contacting his family or friends until I was sure he had (his mom facebooked me last night about how she was soo sorry that things didn’t work out and wants the best for me and loves me, etc). I’m taking the playing it cool approach (my dad has encouraged this relentlessly and I think it’s the right choice for me). Being his friend, maybe he’ll see another side of me. But if he doesn’t, I am focusing on myself and moving forward one step at a time. Sidenote: He’s 29 and has only had one other relationship (4 months). This one was 9 months. He has a good job, car, lives at home, great family,very religious background. We kind of fell into each others laps... had great chemistry, tons in common, same religion, etc. even though he has always happy being single and was not looking for a relationship. I figure he’ll either realize that he just wants to be single, in which case, it’s a good thing I’m focusing on myself and moving on … or he’ll realize maybe hanging with the boys who all wanna get drunk and chase girls, maybe isn’t all it’s cracked up to be since he is not like that. Either way, it’s helped me a lot talking to different friends and family (especially my dad, he has had the best input of anyone), journaling, getting away last weekend, keeping busy. Also, writing this down to post here! Lol. Even though I think of him , I don’t cry anymore. Seeing him that night gave me the bit of closure I was looking for, and I truly do think we can be friends. I figure, time will tell a lot.. if we are meant to be in each others lives, we'll keep in touch, come back together whether as friends or a couple. If we aren't supposed to be in each others lives, we'll naturally go our own ways, and someone better will come along! I guess we'll find out if I come back to this site after writing this post ha ha Edited September 8, 2013 by karpeezy
Author karpeezy Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Time heals all wounds..Sounds like you and him have been through alot.Just keep ya head up Thanks for the encouragement He's an incredible guy, and we had an amazing relationship. He is someone I truly could be friends with (these are like curse words on LS! lol). My head is high, and looking forward is what I'm doing
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