jennj2481 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 So ive been dating this guy for a lil over 2 months. He has been in this country for 5yrs. He has 2 jobs, lives with 2 roomates and is a dedicated member of his church. I am a native here. I live alone, have 1 full time job and have a set of 4yr old twins. We are both pretty busy ppl. When we first started dating we had limited time together so mostly i would go to see him in manhattan on his lunch break (which is abt 2 hrs or more) and we would walk, get something to eat and sit in the park for a lil bit but only for a couple of hours. Or i would invite him over late night after my kids went to bed (i dont let them meet men im dating until its serious) abd we would talk or watch a movie. We didnt have sex until abt a month into dating (which may have been too soon but i cant correct the past). His schedule is more rigid then mine but the fact that we only had limited time together and didnt do much didnt bother me because 1. Im not really the going out type and prefer staying home and 2. I jus figured if he had more time to give to me then he would. Then one day that ended. We was on the phone discussing the stress of his 2 jobs when he suddenly decided he was going to take the weekend off (it was tuesday when he said this) and he was going to fly to another state and visit hia cousin (i was on vacation that week and had the weekend off also). I was baffled. I didnt know he could jus take days off like that! So i didnt bitch. U decided to discuss it with him like an adult. I told him that in the time we was dating we never had more then a couple hours together when we would see each other (except for one time i spent a night over his house) and that it was ny understanding that he didnt have much available time but now that i see he could make time, im confused as to why more time isnt spent with me (wasnt exactly worded that way but u get the hint) First he apologized. Said he does like spending time with me and doesnt want it to look like he doesnt. He said he hasnt been in a relationship for over 4yrs and he has been basically working and focused on living his life for himself. He hasnt had to incorporate someone else into his life and his way of doing things is a reflection if that way if thinking. He said he is going to change that and when he gets back from his trip he will set aside time for me and for us to do something together. I said ok and we went back to usual. He gave me his car for the weekend and i agreed to drop n pick him up from the airport. Its been almost a week since he been back n zero mention of spending time with me. Im not going to bring it up either. Ive decided to give him a month to make due on his promise but everyday that goes by im getting more n more annoyed So my question is, what would u do in my situation? I really feel that if someone is genuinely interested in someone else they wont find it a chore to make time for them. Then again im known for ending relationships quickly at the first sign of difficulty. I really like him and im torn.
heartshaped Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 No one is too busy to make time for someone they genuinely care about. It sounds like he's just not that into you.
twinkie0 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 From "he's just not that into you" (and I can't believe i'm quoting it but what the hell) "Busy is another word for *******. Men are never too busy to get what they want." Simple as that.
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Sorry to give you the bad news but as a man I can see numerous pieces of bulls**t in your post that comes from the very special part of a man's brain that in medical terms is known as: How to distance ourselves from situations in which we have no interest in pursuing but maintaining the possibility of added extras at no extra cost. For a start no man is very busy and no man is too busy to continue to pursue a potential love interest, you saying he never has a tea break or lunch break at work? he never has a single second free from his entire waking life to send a text message that takes less than 30 seconds to write?. Everybody likes to text and I only forget to reply to people I did not want to reply to! If a girl was on my mind even if I was held at gunpoint by terrorists I would break free of my bindings, roundhouse kick the man guarding me and use him as a human shield while crushing his finger on the trigger to kill the others and then find my mobile phone to send a message to set up the next date, if it meant the possibility of sex! It all appears far too casual to me and at a guess I would say this is probably what it is to him, so you need look elsewhere unless that is what you are looking for as you are wasting time here. Not being lazy just near enough exactly the same scenario. Change the text-ing part with phoning. 1
Author jennj2481 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Thanks guys. Just as i figured
Author jennj2481 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Not being lazy just near enough exactly the same scenario. Change the text-ing part with phoning. He does call and text everyday. The issue was about us going out
Dallers Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 He does call and text everyday. The issue was about us going out Yeah sorry as said I was being lazy by just quoting another post.......which probably gives you a bad opinion on me as a man as well
Author jennj2481 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Yeah sorry as said I was being lazy by just quoting another post.......which probably gives you a bad opinion on me as a man as well Lol lol not at all... i knew what the truth was. Guess i just needed to hear it. 1
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