BarOfButter Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 So me and my ex had just finished college, I'm 23 and she is 24. We had been dating for 7.5 years, since 10th grade of high school. Every year she's had another birthday, she always has worries of being old. After we finished college, she kept hinting at me that she wasn't happy with where the relationship was going but wouldn't tell me directly what she wanted, that was one of her things to just give me small clues but expect me to read her mind and give her exactly what she wants. It wasn't until many months later that she upfront told me what she wanted after I had to request from her multiple times; she wanted to get married. At this point we were still living with our parents, working not so good jobs at $13 an hour. We had talked about marriage and planned to do it eventually, but she wanted it NOW since we had just finished college. I felt rushed since we weren't financially stable at all nor did we have good incomes or a house to move into. The young dumb love part of me went with it and agreed since I did want to be with her, but I don't feel like I was ready to get married. I don't think she is ready to get married either because .... She's very emotionally insecure and sensitive, and the slightest wrong interpreted comment can send me in the dog house for who knows how long. She's very controlling and screams to get her way, wanting to choose my career path for me and never wanting to compromise. She did not want to take an opportunity to see me at all before for a whole month before I went off to the military for a few months, and even barely wanted to see me at all in general. She had also broken up with me before TWICE in the past year and a half due to GIGS and wanting to see what other people are out there. I feel like a total idiot now for taking her back those two times. We talked about getting engaged right away when I got home for the next month or so. I thought that if we were going to be together, we might as well do it now, and maybe she'll change her ways as time goes along. So when we were talking about marriage over the phone, I was multi tasking with something really busy, and to her, my voice seemed "hesitant." She took this as wanting to back out and shut me out, resorting to NC for a whole freaking month and a half. Then she contacts me out of nowhere saying she wants to see other people. She had told me in the past that if I don't marry her, she'll find someone else to marry. She said she'll marry anyone. She was saying that the ideal guy will propose after a few months of dating. REALLY?? She was saying how when she was going after other guys I wasn't a "real man" and showed her how jealous I was. Excuse you but you were the one going after other men!! She was saying how she's seeing what else is out there for her to look for an immediate husband and how I've never been there for her problems when I've always lent a listening ear when she'd randomly call and attempted to comfort her when she was down. She did this all over texting. None of the gifts I sent nor promises I told her of us getting engaged when I get home from the military in a few months would convince her. Am I wrong for not popping the question after 7.5 years because we had just finished college, living in our parents house, and we're not financially stable?? Emotionally I feel so many things because a part of me wants to be with her, but a part of me feels like I need to be done with her since she has treated me like garbage and I treated her like gold. I feel that no man in their right mind would stay with her after she says she wants a ring after a few months of dating but it still hurts me to think of her with other people. I feel that she feels she needs to get married NOW because she's insecure she won't find anyone else when she gets older. I mean, we're still in our young 20's, there's nothing old about that! All my friends would tell me that's she's just bad news for me and to loose her but my stupid emotions still want her back!
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