randomwoman Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I've read a lot of posts in this forum about EA/PA relationships. Most seem to portray the parties getting along when they are able to be together or talk. My EA contains a lot of arguing and drama. It seems we both have peaceful home lives with little conflict but use this relationship for the drama. It is very immature behavior as we are almost 40 and don't act like this in our marriages. We do things like act jealous, silent treatment and then make up/reconcile a few days later. Is anyone else in a EA/PA that contains a lot of arguing/drama and otherwise dysfunctional behavior? Just curious because I read a lot of 'meant for each other' descriptions but we are clearly not yet we do this dance anyway.
Feb Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I've read a lot of posts in this forum about EA/PA relationships. Most seem to portray the parties getting along when they are able to be together or talk. My EA contains a lot of arguing and drama. It seems we both have peaceful home lives with little conflict but use this relationship for the drama. It is very immature behavior as we are almost 40 and don't act like this in our marriages. We do things like act jealous, silent treatment and then make up/reconcile a few days later. Is anyone else in a EA/PA that contains a lot of arguing/drama and otherwise dysfunctional behavior? Just curious because I read a lot of 'meant for each other' descriptions but we are clearly not yet we do this dance anyway. xAP and i were over 40 but engaged in behavior that was reminiscent of a couple of teenagers. We worked with each other and got along very well as co-workers, but in the A, comments were made iike, "I saw you taking to him/her for a long time."; "You are going to lunch with so-and-so over me?", lot of comments about each others' physical appearance and how "hot" the other one looked, etc. The PA part was lots of fooling around in the car. Someone on this board used the term "love bombing" which described us -- everything way over the top. Dramatic highs and lows. I guess this is all part of the affair bubble which is largely based in fantasy for some of us. I could not realistically live with someone, raise a family or have a sustained relationship acting like this. I'm not sure how long you have been married, but I'm guessing you have a peaceful home life because you and H have matured together as adults, and built a real relationship based on compromise, shared values, adult responsibilities and adult communication. You have grown with each other through the years and learned to get along as mature adults, which means you don't have all the drama. The problem is some confuse this for boredom, and that causes them to stray and seek out the drama. It seems like you already know you aren't meant for each other, nor are you going to leave your families. I would suggest ending it now before there is a DDay and then you will have more drama than you ever wanted. 2
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