zum1 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I have been reading a lot on here and can completly see how BS or OW or OM feel during A and after A and some time after A. I was just curious how MM feel ? So a OW thinking about MM 24X7 and not able to do anything does MM also goes through the similar feelings? I know I shouldn't be bothered what he is doing or feeling, but I do wonder sometimes. My aunt says, he must be waiting for you to cool down before he approaches again, and i must always be strong enough to kick him back to his crib. Is that how it is?
AlwaysGrowing Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 The truth? Majority of the time...they are scrambling to rebuild their lives. The ow...was just that....other. Not primary. Just....over there. They generally used the ow to cope with a stressful situation, because it was easy. And those mm who don't work to fix that part of them, try to use the ow again to make themselves feel good...why...again...because it is easy. 2
MissBee Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 It depends on the individual and their mindset and how they felt about the person and their ability to compartmentalize, as well as why the A ended. How did it end? I think esp in a case where the MM chose to end things, he will probably spend a lot more time trying to move on, even if he misses/thinks of the OW, versus a MM who was broken up with. 1
randomwoman Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I'm not a man but a close male friend of mine had an affair. He loved this woman but could not leave his wife therefore decided to go ahead and end it. He actually saved all the mementos from their relationship and also remembers certain important dates in their short relationship. He looks back on the memory with love but in no way does he bring it up daily or even monthly. I believe he only really thinks about her when things are going especially bad at home with his wife or one of the important dates is near. The dates involve first sexual experiences, nothing emotional..but you can really tell he was fond of her and still is. They are no longer in contact. Hope that helps
Speakingofwhich Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 It depends on the individual and their mindset and how they felt about the person and their ability to compartmentalize, as well as why the A ended. How did it end? I think esp in a case where the MM chose to end things, he will probably spend a lot more time trying to move on, even if he misses/thinks of the OW, versus a MM who was broken up with. Very true. So many post that all As are the same but I don't think they're all the same, all end the same, or all of the MMs/MWs and OMs/OWs think and behave the same after it's over with. Probably MMs reactions to ends of As are as varied as the people who were involved and the circumstances of the sitches represented.
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