Ex broke up with me and I don't know why

[Lalala19]

I have recently been broken up with and I really need some help. I went straight from my last relationship of 4 years into a new one which lasted about a year. Everything was fine- I was in a bit of a weird place to begin but then it was good. She was quite needy of me always asking questions- she said i made her so happy and she would always always be there for me. We were together about a year when we started having silly little arguments over nothing. It was getting us down and we talked and said we had gotten too intense too quickly. So we decided we would keep it light and enjoy the summer together. My ex went to a concert one night and was distant with me but I knew we had been arguing. The next day she came to see me and she apologised and said she was out of order. We cuddled and slept together etc but then we got talking 'heavy' again and she basically said it was over- she flipped back and too a few times but she left the next day and said she still really loved me but didn't see a future together anymore. A few days later I rang her and asked her to meet me because we had booked a holiday and it was coming up. It was none refundable so we needed to sort it. She seemed surprised that I was 'ok' and agreed to meet me. We had lunch and

I suggested we still go away as it was ashame to waste it. When we met she ended up crying saying she felt numb and didn't know what was happening to her. I asked her if there was anyone else she said no and it was completely about me and her. She text me straight after we left each other saying she wanted to go on holiday. So we kept it light that week but she was still a bit cold. We went away and we ended up sleeping together a lot but both said 'its just sex', she also would always put her arm around me when we were walking and said she really fancies me. There was another girl I was always a bit paranoid about and I asked if she had feelings for her- she said not at all she just liked her friendship and she wasn't gay. She also asked me a few times if I had anything to tell her about anyone else. Silly. The girl ended up face timing her whilst we were away and I felt awkward but after the call she came straight over to me and hugged and kissed me saying sorry. I asked again if there was anything and she replied with a definite no- she just my friend and stated she wouldn't have come away and especially had sex with me if there was- I believed her. I then told her how I truly felt that I still had strong feelings for her and would like to spend time together when we got home etc. she kissed me and went for a shower. Later on I asked her again and she said she didn't feel the same and she didn't want to be together anymore. I was really hurt because I could feel that she still really felt for me. The next couple of days resulted in me being upset and asking tonnes of questions and her being really quite cold to me- she said she hates confrontation and crawls into a shell to run away from it. When we got back she was crying saying she is really going to miss me and she loves me, she also said she needed to process what she was really thinking. I said i really hope we end up back together one day and she said 'me too'. We agreed that we couldn't be friends right now and needed to not talk for a while. After that I didn't get in touch but after 6 days she sent me a text of a weird picture we used to laugh about. We had a couple of texts back and too but that was all. I was weak a couple of days later and text her just saying I miss you. She replied with general conversation asking how I was and how was work but then we got texting just as friends asking each other about our days etc. I then asked if she wanted to meet that weekend but she said she had plans and told me what they were. I decided I couldn't be her friend right now and told her nicely that I still really feel if she doesn't want anything with me then it's best we don't talk for a bit so I can move on. I was really nice and she replied just saying she understood and was sorry (cold!). I asked her again to be honest and if there was anyone else she replied 'NO!!!' in capital letters. I also asked if when she told me she still loved me and agreed that she hopes we end up back together one day was it to shut me up and she said she would never say anything to shut me up but she said she didn't say about getting back together (she did). She was cold to me. Anyway I was just so confused as to why she text me after a week? I could feel she still felt something for me coz i know she wouldnt have slept with me and acted how she did otherwise. And how she can just not feel for me anymore? She was always so into me it was unreal and said she would always be there. I don't know what to do but I'm really struggling- i really want her back. please help!

[AlexanderJames]

Sounds like she's got a lot on her plate. When I got to the first sex part I thought maybe just goodbye sex or guilt sex for hurting you. But that doesn't explain the way she acted on holidays.

 

Tough one. If she's going to come back she will. Unfortunately there isn't really anything you can do. She sounds like she has feelings for you. There's an old saying if you love something let it go. If it comes back keep it forget. If it doesn't it wast meant to be.

Holds true here. Let her go. Don't txt her. People here call it No Contact or NC. The idea is to make them miss you and to give you the power. Don't think of it as a game. Just let her go. And if she comes back she will.