dumped with no explaination

[snipit3172]

i was with my ex for only 5 months but it was the best 5 months of my life he treated me like i had never been treated before he made me feel really special ( something im not used to ) anyway about 2 months ago he texted me and said he would ring me from work later even putting kisses on messages on text like he always did

 

then i did not hear of him for a few days so e maled him to ask if anything was up and not had any replies to e mails or messages im finding it hard to carry on because i dont know what went wrong or if i did something wrong i thought i was pregnant after we split up but it was a false alarm i told him i might be and he did reply to that only to ask if i was or not but i dont understand how we can go from having something so good to having nothing

 

i had been on my own for 2 and a half years before we got together cos i had been hurt again in past relationship and i was weary of getting involved again but he said he was not a typical man and i believed him

 

what made it worse was my family and friends realy liked him wher as they nevr have with old boyfriends

 

has anyone got any advice about how i carry on while still not knowing what happened please thanks

[2KindKay]

Sorry to hear your going through this. Seems strange he would just stop contact, did you tell him you thought you were pregnant before all of this happened or after? I'm just wondering if the thought of being a "dad" scared him, it does that to some men. The only thing I can suggest is to talk to him, see if he will tell you the reason for him not wanting to be with you anymore. It's always hard moving on after a relationship ends, even harder when you don't know why it ended to begin with. I hope you get the answers your looking for.

 

Good luck

[snipit3172]

no i thought i was pregnant about 2 weeks after we split up i have e mailed and texted him asking him to give me an explaaination so that i can move on after a while of me probably driving him mad contacting he e mailed me and said please leave me alone that was about 5 weeks ago he has even stopped speaking to his dad because its through his dad that i met him so me and he dad talk still and he does not understand whats going on either

[red-rose-in-winter]

Could the reason that your guy has suddenly stopped talking to you is because the two of you were getting too close?

 

Some men (in theory) decide to break off relationships because things are going "too good," or they are getting too close to their girlfriends. This may or may not be true for your situation, but it's something to think about.

 

I once dated a guy who I thought the world of, and we had so much in common!!! When we went out on dates, we had the best times and could just talk for hours on the phone. Then one day he just stopped calling me ~ almost like he just erased me from his mind.

 

I had met him through a co-worker (it was actually his Mom) and she was crushed when she found out that he just stopped calling me for no reason. She felt so bad that he was treating me that way. I told her not to worry about it, that he was a grown man, and it's his problem. To this day, me and the Mom are still friends. He is with someone else now and has a baby, and I am happily married to a GREAT guy.

 

My advice to you is to TRY to talk to your guy and find out what's up. But if he won't talk to you about it, you'll just have to get in line behind all us other girls who had no idea what's up with these men!!! It's hard to go on without closure, but sometimes you just have to accept the circumstances and focus on other things.

 

Hope I've helped.....

[alphamale]

Well snipit:

 

What do I say here? If ANY man EVER says to you he is "not typical" he is lying thru his teeth. I always tell woman that I am a typical average guy.

 

To calm you a bit it is very common for men to get really involved with a woman very quickly and then leave the relationship very quickly. Many men are like this and I have done it myself a number of times. If there is not that strong a bond there with the woman then it just takes one small fight or disagreement and I never call them again. I have done this to women I have dated for 4 or 5 months and then just stopped calling them cause they pissed me off.

 

I think with women ususally it takes them longer to get attached and longer to get unattached.

 

I have hear this question from women a lot: "oh, how can he just turn OFF his feelings for me like a hot water faucet?".

 

Well, for a man it is fairly easy, but you should not take this personally.

[Puma]

i know what it feels liek..as to in my situation, my ex basically got scared that we were gettin too close so she said she wasnt ready for a serious relationship?? and here i am thinkin every girl wishes theycan find someoen taht finally is ready for that kind of committment! pshhhh hahawell there are other factors to our break up as well but in reality i think she just got scared she found agreat guy so soon in her life and decided to push him away..girls are weird too!!! but im sure he thinks of you so dont think that he doesnt. i also believe there is always a chance for reconcilliation once he realizes he was basically a dumbass for lettin ya go liek that, so keep ya head up but move on..believe, hope, keep faith!!! ciao

[snipit3172]

thanks puma

 

i hope he does still think of me sometimes and maybe there may be chance of a reconcilliation but im not banking on it but it was nice to get a reply thanks

[Puma]

its my pleasure..thats what we are all here for..to help each other out cause we are blinded by our own situations and can not see things clearly..hell i know i sure try to make things out of mine..but i cant!! haha its liek playin pin the tail on the donkey..ya cant see sh**!! you have to go by what other people are tellin ya and helpin ya to get there..but in the end you get there on ur own and the tail isnt always on the right spot..but hey its there. hey i liek that analogy!!! haha me smarts!

[snipit3172]

2 months ago me and my ex split he just stopped contacting me with no explaination tonight i his dad spoke to me cos he knows im still not coping and he told me the reason

 

the reason is because i was to nice and would do anything for him and did not argue

 

i thought that most peop

le would love that i dont understand how anyone can be to nice as for not arguing there was never anything to argue about can anyone shed some light on this cos i have no clue

[mostWanted]

i have 2 ideas

 

are you younger than him/have less life experience? maybe he doesnt want to expose you to his "scene". he mite think you are to innocent or cud get hurt easily.

 

he is using you being nice as an escuse for something else.

 

looks like you are to nice for him

[snipit3172]

im 32 he his 33 and that what he has told his dad not me i dont think there is any otherreason or his dad would of told me his dad has told him his is stupid ad is a fool for letting me go but i cannot help the fact that i love him more than anyone i have ever been with cos he treated me better than anyone ever has just finding it hard to cope

[mostWanted]

hmmm...

 

if you crossed the line between being nice and kissing-a55 then it probably got on his nerves.

 

a mates ex used to be overly in your face nice and it used to be a bit annoying. what im saying is if your being nice is invading him and his space then maybe he is not seeing it the way you do.

 

i dunno otha than that

[snipit3172]

thanks puma

 

well update on my situation his dad told me tonight the reason we split was because i was to nice to him and did things for him and did not give him any grief he is obviouslly not used to that but thats just the way i am i cannot change that and i should not do his dad has told him he is a fool for lettting me go but wether he listens i have no idea

[snipit3172]

thanks for replying i never invaded his space i only saw him twice a week cos he is a chef and worked long hours wether that could be it because i did not whinge about the hours he worked but he needs to work to pay maintenance for his daughter he even used to say does it not annoy him when he has to go away for a few days to try and visit his daughter she live about 4 1/2 hours drive away but how can i begrudge him spending time with his daughter i just dont understand some people

[Puma]

i used to fall under that category "too nice". i can tell you that it is possible..and i always wondered why girls wouldnt date me..well its because too nice is kinda a nuisance of sorts. it seems almost too perfect and ya dont want to hurt the person cause ya know it would be really hard on them. after a bad rel;ationship it changed my whole persona and i developed a kinda bad boyish side to me you could say. its weird but soon enough i found myself havin to shake the ladies off haha. people dont liek something that seems too perfect cause they have nothing to change about them..and its nice when we can say "yeah, they changed for me" its weird i know, but think about it. some people might even call you naive. if you are always agreein with someone its no fun, doesnt challenge them. ur ideal person should have that balance, and in couples its important to have that balance of similarities and differences

[princess rose]

Hey snipit:

 

I agreee with Puma that it is important to have someone challenge you, however, I always thought that the "too nice" excuse was BS. Pushover is one thing, thoughtfulness, kindness and respect are another. I personally think that men who use that excuse are jerks, and you deserve something better. By the way, would it have been "too nice" for him to at least say things weren't working out? Just my two cents worth.

[Puma]

honesty is a different issue. "too nice", is a bit annoying though. i really dont think its BS, its valid reasoning. especially guys, we like a lil challenge in our women and liek that feistyness cause it just makes things more interesting. in women i could also say that "too nice" of guys arent really seen as challenging them enough to be a man (strong and ability to make the woman feel protected)we live in a society that has long painted ideas of the masculine man and the feminine woman. slowly however, the roles have been reversing or more balancing out i should say. i think its always best to have a balance in everything..so "too nice" falls off the center of that spectrum..aim at the middle where its just enough

[snipit3172]

thanks puma

 

the thing is tho i have been this way for 32 years and i cannot change the way i am or it would not be me im not overly nice he actually used to say he loved spending time with me cos we could just chill out and do nothing without arguments and grief going on and he said he thought i was good for him cos i chilled him out i dont know maybe he does not know how to handle being with someone who puts sis him first not all the time tho like i said i only saw him twice a week cos he worked long hours so its not like i smothered him wth being nice and did not give him his own space at least i feel a bit better for knowing the reason for him calling it off even tho everyone i know even my ex before him who i still speak to occasionly said me being nice is not a bad thing at all

[Puma]

i understand what ur sayin..and theres only so much input i can put into it cause theres only so much i know, but maybe he just took ya for granted in that case. and i dont know if ya would like to get him together or what is it you want, but im positive he will eventually come to his senses and realize he messed up on a nice woman. if it hasnt really been an issue in ur past..then it shouldnt have been an issue this tiem around so most likely he just used that as an excuse then. either way..if youve been liek that for 32 years..you will eventually learn on ur own as im only 21 and it took one really basd relationship to change my "too nice" ways i thank that relationship cause it made me who i am today so i cant regret it cause we learn more from hurtful times unfortunately. g luck and keep ya head up