Author Sadguy33 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I wish my brain would ****ing realize this buy it just can't . She just texted me her a female and two coworkers are going out to clubs. She said there named right away do I don't thin she's planning on cheating but **** my mind will not get the the thought of her drunk ass getting taken advantage of. It kills me like a gucking knife
spiderowl Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Whatever her feelings for you, you are bending too much to please her and putting up with her insults and bad behaviour. You need to get out of this situation. If she wants you, let her come running. Make it clear you are drawing a line and won't tolerate the way she behaves so you are getting out. She would respect you so much more if you were the person you are, rather than the one she pushes you to be. Only you can decide what you will put up with and whether it's worth it. As far as I can see, her treatment of you means that she's lost interest and will cheat if not leave. The only way this relationship might be retrieved is if she realises you are rare, valuable, and someone SHE has to work for.
crazy1234 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Okay 5 year relationship, we love together, and things look to be coming to an end. She is 24, I'm 25 and she seems to have finally cracked and had gigs possibly. Only difference is that she has been saying she was unhappy all the time for the lastv2 years, but that's due to her crazy life and is in debt, etc. she just got a new job and is away across the usa for 4 weeks of training. Let me just say, she has been a different person out there. She says she feels so happy to be alone after a week and that I've been bringing her down. Honestly, I have changed practically everything I can for our apt and changed things she complained but she just is never happy. She has been ignoring me and when we do talk she just blows up on how annoying I am. Calls me names, puts me down etc. we are together but I really feel like when she gets home it's over . I also feel like she's trying to make me be the one to break up with her but I'm really not trying to do that. I know I don't deserve to be in a one sided relationship, but I know if we break up she is literally just going to go out, party, and go get with guys that will never love her like me. Also, I say I miss her, she says yeah. She says she's in love but not. That I deserve someone better. It doesn't help I date a model and she can literally get with whoever she wants. It's driving me nuts Somme one please help Cant you see she's already getting annoyed with you?If she has to leave,she will leave anyways dear and you and I cant do **** about it.Im sorry if it sounds harsh but dont let yourself get treated like crap.You will regret it later in your life.Let her be and talk it out. 1
hurts2death Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 wow wow... please just please do a favor to your self and vanish from her life now .. full NC or else you will be running after her while she dates others..... been there, trust me... run away at least save some pride,,,run away now I wish my brain would ****ing realize this buy it just can't . She just texted me her a female and two coworkers are going out to clubs. She said there named right away do I don't thin she's planning on cheating but **** my mind will not get the the thought of her drunk ass getting taken advantage of. It kills me like a gucking knife 1
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 wow wow... please just please do a favor to your self and vanish from her life now .. full NC or else you will be running after her while she dates others..... been there, trust me... run away at least save some pride,,,run away now Disagree. Cowards run away. They have been together almost half a decade. He loves the girl. And even though she's not showing it she wouldn't still be with him if she didn't feel anything. I they had been dating 4 months then yeah she could well already be out of the relationship. But not 48 months. If he runs he could be walking away from his future wife. Situations like this make relationships stronger. Like I said earlier. Live for you and put yourself first whilst still remaining part of her life. It could be just what you need. If you turn and run then there is no closure. No certainty. Only heartache and the potential to ruin what could be his happily ever after. Personal opinion of course. Not saying you're wrong or I'm right. Just my view 1
hurts2death Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 ok so here are many perspectives.. what if i am saying just if she already checked out of the RL ? what you suggest seems correct but if they make a decision then bam nth to change it.. and from what sadguy says she doesnt care.. so maybe then its better to have an honest talk but dont press hard be calm and honest? or just nc to make her miss you... ahhhh these s hity situations really are hard,,,, ofcourse there is alwasy the choice to dump her first
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 ok so here are many perspectives.. what if i am saying just if she already checked out of the RL ? what you suggest seems correct but if they make a decision then bam nth to change it.. and from what sadguy says she doesnt care.. so maybe then its better to have an honest talk but dont press hard be calm and honest? or just nc to make her miss you... ahhhh these s hity situations really are hard,,,, ofcourse there is alwasy the choice to dump her first I get where you're coming from. And your own past experience is definitely having a day in your suggestion. Because part of you wishes you where in sad guys situation and knew what you know now so you could have left. Which is normal. But let's look at some ultimatums. He ends it - they're over and all hope of mending things dies. He ends it and she asks him to take her back - there's already a broken relationship now. It's never the same. And there's always an underlying urge for her to dump him to get even He goes NC - This could have two outcomes. She could miss him and come back sure. But that's not fixing the problem. She still feels smothered and they haven't really patched things. Just made her crawl back as a means to get power. Alternatively, remembering that the girl is already distanced at the moment and has started losing interest in him, this could make her dump him. Living for himself - this will have two outcomes as well. Either she will live off of his happiness and remember what she saw in him and they can be two people in a relationship not one. Or she can decide its too late and end it. But in this instance sadguy has already taught himself how to cope. And he knows how to make himself happy. So even though his heart is broken and he's in the worst Place on earth he has the knowledge and the routine to make himself happy already. And he can keep it up Following? He's setting himself up to fix his relationship. While also preparing for the worst.
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I dint know guys I think she may cheated.. She didnt say anything after that text about her going out and in still waiting. I wish she would just tell me. Also another factor, we have a dog together. He's technically mine, but we bought him together. He's very attatched to my gf and was depressed for. 2 weeks. I don't even want her seeing him again because he will get false hopes when he sees her
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Alexander I appreciate the hopeful comments but when I look at the last year she has been really mean. I'm disgusting, piece of ****, no girl would ever dare me, Im worthless, and that I make her miserable. She stopped saying I love you two days ago and that has never ever happened. I just need to accept that this is over bit it's so hard I just want her to snap out if this. 1
Brown-Eyez Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 This reminded me of a moment that happened about two months before my ex dumped me (that thread is here.) I had gone on a short vacation with a friend up to San Francisco, was gone three days. She had a good time with her friends while I was away, so it seemed like we both had a great time on our own. When I got back, she said she didn't really miss me. The way she said it had really upset me, and in hindsight it was a dumb reaction of mine. She definitely didn't say it the right way, but I know now looking back on it what she had meant - a little separation is good for couples. I guess, for her, it was a liberating feeling not feeling obligated to keep in such close contact with me over those few days. I remember having way too overly emotional of a reaction, tearing up and asking how my own girlfriend could not miss me. It was a total moment of weakness for me that she sensed and I believe it really did play a small part in her ultimately choosing to leave me. I guess my point is, learn from me when I say that desperation can be sensed miles away, during AND after a relationship. Not to hijack this thread, but I really just have to comment on this^^: You didn't do anything WRONG! You felt hurt by her insensitive comment and expressed how you felt about it. If we can't show our TRUE feelings while in a relationship with someone, what the hell is the point?!! Obviously if we react with insecurity each & every time our partner does something we perceive as hurtful then yes, there will be problems. But come on, to show some insecurity once in a while is NORMAL and is not desperation. 2
hopefulfaerie Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I'm still trying to find out how to send SadGuy a private message so I can give him my email or Facebook or something but it says I don't have access to do that. Does anyone know how I can give him this info?????? ANYONE????? Please. thanks!!!! Hang in there SadGuy, We'll figure this out.
lonegirl Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 This is just so terrible and what you're passing through breaks my heart. So mean to torture you by saying she's going out, to make a huge mess in your head, i wouldn't stand anything like this. I just know that i've dumped people before, but i always tried to treat them nicely and with a lot of respect, keeping their self esteem in place and avoiding to try to point fingers in personal flaws, etc. She's being extremely mean to you. BUT, let me tell you, this will go on ONLY if you allow. I know, it's 5 years, a life built together etc but this is why some respect and consideration should come up. Chasing and answering her will only lead to even worse situations. If she cheats, she will tell you with a smile and still will say he was better. And trust me, if she wants to do it she will, no matter what you do! BUT you can avoid being treated as a doormat. RUN for now, cut contact.
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I realize now why people say mornings are so hard to get through
hopefulfaerie Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I realize now why people say mornings are so hard to get through I think you will find that's pretty common. I mean, we wake up and then it hits like a freight train! OMG!!! I have to go another LONG day with this horrible feeling of a broken heart. Does get less and less each day though......REALLY slowly however, so slowly, you probably won't notice it at first but it will get easier
lop98 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Some responses here ... NC to make the girl miss him, sticking around because "he's not a coward" and he "has to" fight for his future wife. What the...... As a girl the one fact that's as clear as water is that she is not in love with him anymore, and after realizing that she's been now entering the stage where the relationship and just the presence of your partner (physical or virtual- through messages or phone calls) is exhausting and you can't pretend to be nice anymore when it's a reminder that you want out and can't have it... and unfortunately, the nicer he is, the colder she will be because that's what's happening, she repels a situation she can't have the courage, dignity, respect, maturity, etc etc to just END. What's likely on the way is... more of this, but nastier... she's emotionally out of it and he's emotionally a wreck so there's little to sustain a healthy relationship. Also calling some endings "gigs" can be dangerous... it can lead you to think that they do love you but for some distraction, they don't want to bring themselves to admit it. That is BS. "gigs" can be just growing up and growing out of a relationship with someone, you shared experiences, the love is over and that's it... and instead of thinking she's going through some reversible syndrome and you should help her overcome it as if she was a mental patient that needs reminders of the relationship she can easily remember on her own, it's best to leave a chapter of your life that's shrinking by the minute as clean as you can... meaning cutting contact accepting this is the last of it, it's going to hurt but you WILL get better, and sooner than you think now. 1
BC1980 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I'm disgusting, piece of ****, no girl would ever dare me, Im worthless, and that I make her miserable. These comments alone would be the end of it for me. You don't need to be with someone who would say such hurtful things. That's just uncalled for. 1
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I told her to contact me when she wants . I give up 1
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Okay So now i feel better, if my gf wants to be a hot mess than **** it. My problem now is I don't want her to see the dog again if she is going to break up with me this weekend. It's technically my dog but she's gonna wanna say goodbye and he just stopped being depressed, I don't want to put him through that again. So basically, should I say you can't see him or let her say goodbye? She does not deserve to at all
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 opinions? also tomorrow is my bday, wonder if she will say anything?
hopefulfaerie Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Happy almost Birthday by the way I wouldn't put the pup or yourself through any more torture. I would just try to do a clean break. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there.
Author Sadguy33 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Things are so ****ed up now. I found that she was talking to someone a month before she left. And she is still being mean like literally laughing at me. I don't love her more but it hurts so ****ing much still
hurts2death Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 be man.... cant say anything else all these will make you tough and karma is like 69 position in sex you get what you give .. soo? let her karma get her.... just go nc stop thinking live your life,. find a sexy girl work out have kids and if she gets fuc ked too in the head find a sexier have kids again... be a man be better tomorrow ... draw a line.... evolution you. the hits will make you tougher if you only you stand again and not surrender, wish the best. johnThings are so ****ed up now. I found that she was talking to someone a month before she left. And she is still being mean like literally laughing at me. I don't love her more but it hurts so ****ing much still
Author Sadguy33 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 One month since break up and it's been a roller coaster. I've done my steps to better myself and was in Nc with her but tonight my Stupid self looked at her Instagram and bam, there she is happy as could be. Out partying, and a picture of her ex from 8 years ago who is a celebrity now and thousands of girls want this dude. She definitely slept with him. Plus she cheated in me a month before. Why do I care... Why do I do this. Also, she moved out but due to convenience issues with work she can't move home so guess where she goes? Literally up the street to live with her cousin that encouraged all if this bs. It just makes me sick. She's just like so happy and I'm such a wreck. It doesn't help either that she was amazing sexually and the rebounds are always girls that aren't as hot. It just drives me nuts. Help
Assasda Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 You Already praised her as a queen, putting her up on the pedestal. Now she's treating you like the trash that you were acting like. Get on a dating website, and hang out with your male friends, thats all ou need for help 1
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