Are there any other HEALTHY methods besides NC to make an ex miss you.

[Armyguy123]

My ex the other day broke my NC by saying she misses me and was crying but still stands by her decision. It's hard to tell if its BS or she has doubt.

 

It may just be her trying to go to the person she is used to coping with to cope with the loss; kind of oxymoronic right?

 

She just started her first real job in the adult world as a teacher this week and I have been NC for 5 days straight after she asked me to comfort her before she started saying she felt bad for asking me.

 

Should I tell her I hope work is going well and keep it brief or just remain stern in NC hoping she will break. Its a hard gamble because either way I can still lose. I'm afraid the longer I go NC she will just fade away and think I moved on and don't care.

 

People say that if she wants to get back with me she will move a mountain to tell me. I don't think she will do that even if that was the case. I think she might need a push or hint from my end.

 

Bottom line; Is there such thing as effective limited contact in where you set a foundation to go up from, like when you first met. Talking briefly, then talking more and more, becoming more flirtatious, then pow full blown attraction. I think that would be a healthy way of restarting things, but I think I would be lying to myself the whole time, because I would have ulterior motives during the whole slow phase (if it even worked, and I risk being hurt again).

 

Relationships are tough sometimes.

[Misfortune]

Only you can break your NC. She could be genuinely feeling those emotions but, she still doesn't want to be with you. I'm sure that she already knows that you want to be back with her, she wouldn't have mentioned her decision if she didn't know. You should leave her alone and let her learn what life is like without you. I agree with people that say she'll let you know if she wants to restart things.

 

Many people wish things worked as mentioned in your bottom line, but life doesn't always work that way on second chances.

[saltyfishhead666]

Oh darling you really aren't looking forward.

 

She left you, like literally threw you on your ass, kicked you and walked off.

 

You can't trust her not to do it again, you can't trust here not to do it while in flight school and you can't trust her not to do it when your deployed.

 

^^^ This is toxic. It will literally fry your brain.

 

You are going to flight school. you have bigger fish to fry and they are more important in life than her.

 

Please listen and make steps to move forward. If she missed you she'd reach out... she hasn't!

 

[stillafool]

The only thing you can do at this point to "shock" her is to start dating others. Maybe then she will realize what she threw away. Trying to date her again from the beginning will not work because the past is over. She has to come to you at this point.

[Armyguy123]

I guess I'm just not thinking clearly because I am going through really bad depression right now. Nothing in life seems enjoyable right now. Its hard to move on when you lose your support system, best friend, and one of your sources of happiness.

[JDPT]

She doesn't want you back and simply looking for a comfortable place and you are comfortable to her. And you broke NC by replying. Dust yourself and move forward, recommit to NC.

[saltyfishhead666]

I guess I'm just not thinking clearly because I am going through really bad depression right now. Nothing in life seems enjoyable right now. Its hard to move on when you lose your support system, best friend, and one of your sources of happiness.

 

It's hard, it's heartbreaking, it's lonely. You feel like your hearts been torn out and burnt, you feel like its not worth waking up and you feel like you'll always feel this way.

 

You won't, one day I promise you you won't and you'll wonder why you cared at all

[melell]

My ex would miss me a lot in the beginning after he would see me. Then he would ask me to see him again.

 

I didn't do.

 

Even though they miss you it doesn't mean they will change their mind. I just don't think it is worth risking your own happiness tbh.

[unexpectedlyhere]

I don't think reconciliations can happen like this. They can perhaps happen if people find each other again after a while but you need to have gotten on with your lives.

 

This way is unhealthy: if you do speak to her she'll just get used to having you around for emotional support without really picturing you as her boyfriend, and you will be disappointed when things don't evolve.