Farsight Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Hi everyone, My ex girlfriend wanted to stay best friends after the BU. SHe initiates contact all the time so I think I believe her. But how do they do it? My guess is maybe a part of them still doesn't want to give up. Ofcourse there are the fake reasons. A lot of times this isn't sincere. But how do dumpers go from your lover to friend if there is no trickery involved and they really want to? This doesn't seem possible.
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 There is always ulterior motives, don't touch it, run from it.
Apparition Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It could be numerous reasons, most due to guilt. They somehow think being your friend is making it all better. Anyway, I couldn't do it, I couldn't stay friends with someone I am in love with. I would have to get over them first and plus, I don't stay friends with my ex's. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I wouldn't simple as that. You can't become friend's with those that A) have had your heart at one point and B) you've got it on with. I'd never be able to look at them differently once that happens
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It could be a variety of reasons: guilt, she doesn't want to lose the moral support, she genuinely thinks it's a nice thing to do, she got over you so long ago that she doesn't see a problem with it (hint: she should!!), she wants the attention... Ask her to stay away. It's for your own good. If she really cares, she will; and if she doesn't, you can block her. Trying to stay friends at this stage is hurtful. You need to be able to imagine a life without her.
Author Farsight Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 yeah, Its been 3 and a half week and since 2 days I am starting to think about me without her. To block her from my mind. I don't have to care anymore about her life and her problems. I don't know if she does. My guess is I am in feeling 2 weeks behind on hers. She probably still cares i don't know on what level. It could be she thinks we really stay good friends and that is really important to her. Could be there are alternative reasons.
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 A simple answer. Time. My most recent ex and I had a really bad split two years back. We where at each others throats. Actively did things to hurt each other. Acted out of spite. Said things we can never take back in the heat of the moment. Things that warrant an all out brawl and no going back. 3 weeks ago she messages me. Saying she dreamt about me and asking how I was. We are friends again she lives with her partner and has her life on track despite the things she got into after we split. 8 years ago my first gf cheated on me. Last year we crossed paths and caught up over a coffee. And we still keep in touch. For years she was the bane of my existence. No one disgusted me more. Time really does heal all. 2
Chatmonkey Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 A simple answer. Time. My most recent ex and I had a really bad split two years back. We where at each others throats. Actively did things to hurt each other. Acted out of spite. Said things we can never take back in the heat of the moment. Things that warrant an all out brawl and no going back. 3 weeks ago she messages me. Saying she dreamt about me and asking how I was. We are friends again she lives with her partner and has her life on track despite the things she got into after we split. 8 years ago my first gf cheated on me. Last year we crossed paths and caught up over a coffee. And we still keep in touch. For years she was the bane of my existence. No one disgusted me more. Time really does heal all. that is a really lovely and refreshing thing to hear 1
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 that is a really lovely and refreshing thing to hear I'm in a pretty good place at the moment thankfully. Just last night in fact I saw my second most recent ex in a club. She bought me a drink and we had a dance. Even though she had me blocked on Facebook haha. But then her current came and caused a scene and I had to resist laying him out on the floor. But today she added me on facey and has been talking to me. It's funny. Right when I'm at my happiest in life everyone pops back. Maybe someone new sooooon! 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Simple Answer: Yeah, you can be friends with anyone if you open up to it. The problem with it (intentionally) is when its too early, the feelings are still there for at least one person in the party. It takes a lot of time and feelings mended to truly become friends. Key word: TIME. I'm friends with one of my ex's that I had when I was 19. We talk all the time. She is a great girl, but again, when we broke up, it was too soon. I had to wait a good year or two before the feelings died down. I am also friends with someone I broke up with after that, but it took her a while to with me as well. Its all about time and feelings dispersing
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