Inspiteofrselves Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 BACKSTORY The GOOD We had a wonderful loving 3 year relationship full of laughter and understanding, until the last 6-8 months. He loved my stormy driven nature, my sarcasm, clumsiness,my wholesomeness-- I loved his anxious nature, his awkwardness, his kindness, his boyishness. We had a home together, and were utterly comfortable. The last 2 months of our relationship he moved cities to be with me, when I said I had to go bc I was unhappy in the country. The BAD He became financially very insecure, I made the mistake of trying to push him in his career which made him feel like I "didn't believe in him" or his goals. It was none of my business. I moved from a major city to a town to be with him, never learned how to drive, and couldnt get out of the house, so got very offended if he blew me off. Became needy because of circumstance. We broke up ten months ago after he "cheated" on me on tour, fooling around with a sex worker and crying about it. I flipped out and was a total needy bitch. He left me because he said we could "never be the same after his ****up" The situation. I made the mistake of continuing to see him after he left. He would sometimes take me out to dinner (something he never did during the relationship) or brunch, talk for a long time on the phone... but I would always end up crying and he would shut down. I was an idiot I couldnt help myself. I saw him around May for his birthday. We went to brunch and got drunk, spent the day together. We were supposed to go to a concert, but he brought the relationship up and we ended up talking and crying. We had both slept with other people and agreed it didn't "feel right." He went home that night and wrote me a song. At the same time, he was starting to fool around with this girl he knew "back home" that would go to his shows. They're seeing eachother now. I asked him about her months ago and he kind of pretended not to know who she was and said they werent dating. But as little as 2 months ago, he was telling me he wanted to see more of me, that I seemed good, that he missed me. Then kind of blowing me off. He's said the girl is "just like him" to others, and that he and I were "too different"-- but he thought we were "just like eachother" until I started making issue with his financial insecurity/inability to pay rent. My question-- if he was still being emotional with me when he was starting things up with this girl, just five months after the split-- is she a rebound? Or is she what made him REALIZE he doesnt love me? Is there any way to know? He loved me so much. Was afraid he loved me more than I loved him. Would cry when he saw me, and just felt he was "hurting me too much." He said he likes this girl because "he doesnt hurt her because they are similar" I feel I failed my "audition." I don't want to hear that this man isn't worth it. He is. I really just started NC two months ago. Did I kill any chance of a reconcilliation with the 8 months of sweet, but sad contact? Did I push him into a new relationship? Does this sound like a rebound? Good god I want hope. I love this man so much. I am doing all I can to make myself better. New Job, therapy, even trying to date a bit. I am feeling better, and honestly forgive him for everything-- have realized the things I nitpicked him about don't matter. But I still have this overwhelming love and hope. I want him to be happy. But I also want to be the woman that makes him happiest. I have a bunch of wonderful men clamouring to be in my life right now, but I just love him so much. I know I just have to let this run its course. I don't want to be unfair to him or the girl, I want to respect his need to find out what he wants.... but I just don't understand how he could move on from something so huge so quick, see this girl while still loving me....
jerryh Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 BACKSTORY But as little as 2 months ago, he was telling me he wanted to see more of me, that I seemed good, that he missed me. Then kind of blowing me off. Genuinely I think its a rebound. You dont get over someone you were with that long and in love that much, two months after that.
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